Festivus - Funny Grievances!

[Anonymous]

I'll start: back in the mid-90s, my aunt gave me an over-sized T-shirt she covered in gold puff paint and glitter along with matching ball cap. It was sweet, but hideous and I was forced to wear it in public!

[Anonymous]

My mother expects her introverted family to make a huge, gushing displays over every single gift. (Oh, a 10-piece bath set, let me open every single bottle, smell them all, pass the bottles around, put some on my hands, make insightful & meaningful comments about the scent differences of the sugar cookie body lotion versus the brown sugar hand lotion, it does smell just like a fresh baked apple pie, the body puff is so puffy and is green so matches my towels, the wire basket is really cute and I can reuse to as a tissue holder, let me find some matches to light the candle, maybe I'll immediately run a bath....) Doesn't matter if it is socks, a coat, a book, puzzle.....We all know that whatever we do will never be right. We open the gifts like one must contain a jack-in-the-box, knowing one will cause her to let out a big sigh and leave the room.

[Anonymous]

My grievance? Farts. All the farts. Three males live in my home and all of them believe that farts are 1) hilarious and 2) best shared with others.

This is one grievance that truly, literally, requires airing -- only it's too damn cold to open a window.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My mother expects her introverted family to make a huge, gushing displays over every single gift. (Oh, a 10-piece bath set, let me open every single bottle, smell them all, pass the bottles around, put some on my hands, make insightful & meaningful comments about the scent differences of the sugar cookie body lotion versus the brown sugar hand lotion, it does smell just like a fresh baked apple pie, the body puff is so puffy and is green so matches my towels, the wire basket is really cute and I can reuse to as a tissue holder, let me find some matches to light the candle, maybe I'll immediately run a bath....) Doesn't matter if it is socks, a coat, a book, puzzle.....We all know that whatever we do will never be right. We open the gifts like one must contain a jack-in-the-box, knowing one will cause her to let out a big sigh and leave the room.

Ok, I am in the waiting area waiting to get a mammogram, and this has me laughing LOUDLY!!!!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My grievance? Farts. All the farts. Three males live in my home and all of them believe that farts are 1) hilarious and 2) best shared with others.

This is one grievance that truly, literally, requires airing -- only it's too damn cold to open a window.

I have 3 boys and I literally have to sniff around for the high offender and say, "Dude, just go to the bathroom already!"

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My grievance? Farts. All the farts. Three males live in my home and all of them believe that farts are 1) hilarious and 2) best shared with others.

This is one grievance that truly, literally, requires airing -- only it's too damn cold to open a window.

I have 3 boys and I literally have to sniff around for the high offender and say, "Dude, just go to the bathroom already!"

PP here. YES! You know exactly what I'm talking about.

[Anonymous]

And dog farts. Spare us Fido. You have a big yard. Use it

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:And dog farts. Spare us Fido. You have a big yard. Use it

Ha! Dogs know how to clear a room.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My mother expects her introverted family to make a huge, gushing displays over every single gift. (Oh, a 10-piece bath set, let me open every single bottle, smell them all, pass the bottles around, put some on my hands, make insightful & meaningful comments about the scent differences of the sugar cookie body lotion versus the brown sugar hand lotion, it does smell just like a fresh baked apple pie, the body puff is so puffy and is green so matches my towels, the wire basket is really cute and I can reuse to as a tissue holder, let me find some matches to light the candle, maybe I'll immediately run a bath....) Doesn't matter if it is socks, a coat, a book, puzzle.....We all know that whatever we do will never be right. We open the gifts like one must contain a jack-in-the-box, knowing one will cause her to let out a big sigh and leave the room.

Well done PP. Please come here to rehash with us after this year's ordeal!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My mother expects her introverted family to make a huge, gushing displays over every single gift. (Oh, a 10-piece bath set, let me open every single bottle, smell them all, pass the bottles around, put some on my hands, make insightful & meaningful comments about the scent differences of the sugar cookie body lotion versus the brown sugar hand lotion, it does smell just like a fresh baked apple pie, the body puff is so puffy and is green so matches my towels, the wire basket is really cute and I can reuse to as a tissue holder, let me find some matches to light the candle, maybe I'll immediately run a bath....) Doesn't matter if it is socks, a coat, a book, puzzle.....We all know that whatever we do will never be right. We open the gifts like one must contain a jack-in-the-box, knowing one will cause her to let out a big sigh and leave the room.

Well done PP. Please come here to rehash with us after this year's ordeal!

LOVED this bit. So funny.

My MIL is like this, and she gives shit gifts, so you really have to work on those acting skills to get through it.

[Anonymous]

Bump!