Our elementary school canceled Halloween

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think we might want to think about what it means when we “feel sad” for kids who aren’t able to participate in Halloween for religious beliefs of their parents/family.

I mean, that’s rather paternalistic and judgmental even if unintentional.

I don't see it as judgmental. I do feel sad for the kids, the kids who feel bad about it. There are kids who don't celebrate that don't care, that's fine. But, yeah, I feel for the kids who want to participate, but their parents are making them miss out.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I didn't read through 28 pages, but I do note that I sort of felt the same as you and then learned from our principal that around 15% of the kids sat out of halloween celebrations in our school. That felt like a lot of kids who are not able to join in on the fun. Though even just a few is sad, so perhaps I shouldn't focus so much on the number.

My kids will get costumes, trick or treating, etc. No one is cancelling halloween. It's worth sacrificing the school focus on halloween (the school does a fall festival thing instead) to teach them to think of others.

I could be wrong, but I think this will backfire. Mostly, it is a way to make people resentful. There are way better methods to teach 2nd and 3rd graders to ‘think of others’.

You’re saying that 85% of kids are willing to participate in Halloween celebrations. You’re okay with the school taking away a fun, well-liked, well-attended school tradition to cater to a relatively small percentage of families.

Seriously. And if I have to constantly find backup camps to accommodate every religion under the sun in order to maintain the employment that houses and feeds my family, then the religious kids can surely be inconvenienced with sitting out of a party. Schools need to stop acting like they are religious institutions. They are not. If people are truly beside themselves at the horror of little kids in costumes eating candy, then maybe a private religious-based school is more appropriate for them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think we might want to think about what it means when we “feel sad” for kids who aren’t able to participate in Halloween for religious beliefs of their parents/family.

I mean, that’s rather paternalistic and judgmental even if unintentional.

I don't see it as judgmental. I do feel sad for the kids, the kids who feel bad about it. There are kids who don't celebrate that don't care, that's fine. But, yeah, I feel for the kids who want to participate, but their parents are making them miss out.

If your parents have religious beliefs that are this strong there are a lot of aspects of American culture that you are going to miss out on. Halloween is the least of it. It’s not my place to fix that not is it my place to presume it’s something the kids would want fixed. Religious belief and family culture are as personal as it gets.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Our elementary school decided to cancel our Halloween parade and is not allowing the kids to wear costumes. The decision was made because other elementary schools in our cluster have decided not to celebrate.

When majority of the community is for celebrating Halloween, why do principals hide behind a few irrational people to make this kind of decision? Needless to say, our elementary community is livid. Is there anyway we can change the principal’s mind at this point?

Ours is having a parade

Are you in MCPS?

Yes, we're having a Halloween parade with customers. It's just a regular MCPS ES near Silver Spring.

Name the school or it didn't happen. I mean, basically, that's what this has become.

TPES

[Anonymous]

I'm having trouble understanding the strong feelings in this thread. Halloween is fun, but isn't it still fun if you don't celebrate it at school? I have read the majority of the posts, and I just don't get why this is something people are angry about.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm having trouble understanding the strong feelings in this thread. Halloween is fun, but isn't it still fun if you don't celebrate it at school? I have read the majority of the posts, and I just don't get why this is something people are angry about.

I can try to explain. I'm angry that schools are cancelling a fun, well-liked, secular tradition to accommodate a small group of religious fanatics. That's actually pretty scary to me.

I'm glad that you're happy with the changes, but it's actually pretty understandable that some parents would be saddened to see that a school tradition is now being cancelled.

Does that make sense to you?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm having trouble understanding the strong feelings in this thread. Halloween is fun, but isn't it still fun if you don't celebrate it at school? I have read the majority of the posts, and I just don't get why this is something people are angry about.

I can try to explain. I'm angry that schools are cancelling a fun, well-liked, secular tradition to accommodate a small group of religious fanatics. That's actually pretty scary to me.

I'm glad that you're happy with the changes, but it's actually pretty understandable that some parents would be saddened to see that a school tradition is now being cancelled.

Does that make sense to you?

My kid's school stopped with Halloween years ago. They went with black and orange day instead. Activities focus on fall. This was done to include kids with religious beliefs or backgrounds that don't recognize Halloween. Kids still have fun.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm having trouble understanding the strong feelings in this thread. Halloween is fun, but isn't it still fun if you don't celebrate it at school? I have read the majority of the posts, and I just don't get why this is something people are angry about.

I can try to explain. I'm angry that schools are cancelling a fun, well-liked, secular tradition to accommodate a small group of religious fanatics. That's actually pretty scary to me.

I'm glad that you're happy with the changes, but it's actually pretty understandable that some parents would be saddened to see that a school tradition is now being cancelled.

Does that make sense to you?

I'm not happy with the changes. I just don't care enough to have feelings one way or the other. Also, I think being saddened is different than being angry. I could understand a mild nostalgic sadness, but the anger and hostility feels disproportionate to me.

Overall, I don't care whether kids celebrate non-religious holidays at school. I want them to have some joy in school. They should sometimes do fun things, but I don't care what those things are. Assemblies, field trips, Dress Like a Book Character Day, end of unit party, whatever. Kids can get excited about all kinds of things. DH's elementary used to have read-a-thons where kids came in their PJs with pillows and just read all day. That sounds fun.

And, Halloween is still fun, so ... ? I'm not bothered that kids could have fun on Halloween outside of school, and do a different fun thing a different day at school.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm having trouble understanding the strong feelings in this thread. Halloween is fun, but isn't it still fun if you don't celebrate it at school? I have read the majority of the posts, and I just don't get why this is something people are angry about.

I can try to explain. I'm angry that schools are cancelling a fun, well-liked, secular tradition to accommodate a small group of religious fanatics. That's actually pretty scary to me.

I'm glad that you're happy with the changes, but it's actually pretty understandable that some parents would be saddened to see that a school tradition is now being cancelled.

Does that make sense to you?

I'm not happy with the changes. I just don't care enough to have feelings one way or the other. Also, I think being saddened is different than being angry. I could understand a mild nostalgic sadness, but the anger and hostility feels disproportionate to me.

Overall, I don't care whether kids celebrate non-religious holidays at school. I want them to have some joy in school. They should sometimes do fun things, but I don't care what those things are. Assemblies, field trips, Dress Like a Book Character Day, end of unit party, whatever. Kids can get excited about all kinds of things. DH's elementary used to have read-a-thons where kids came in their PJs with pillows and just read all day. That sounds fun.

And, Halloween is still fun, so ... ? I'm not bothered that kids could have fun on Halloween outside of school, and do a different fun thing a different day at school.

I agree with this. Mountain out of a molehill.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm having trouble understanding the strong feelings in this thread. Halloween is fun, but isn't it still fun if you don't celebrate it at school? I have read the majority of the posts, and I just don't get why this is something people are angry about.

I can try to explain. I'm angry that schools are cancelling a fun, well-liked, secular tradition to accommodate a small group of religious fanatics. That's actually pretty scary to me.

I'm glad that you're happy with the changes, but it's actually pretty understandable that some parents would be saddened to see that a school tradition is now being cancelled.

Does that make sense to you?

I'm not happy with the changes. I just don't care enough to have feelings one way or the other. Also, I think being saddened is different than being angry. I could understand a mild nostalgic sadness, but the anger and hostility feels disproportionate to me.

Overall, I don't care whether kids celebrate non-religious holidays at school. I want them to have some joy in school. They should sometimes do fun things, but I don't care what those things are. Assemblies, field trips, Dress Like a Book Character Day, end of unit party, whatever. Kids can get excited about all kinds of things. DH's elementary used to have read-a-thons where kids came in their PJs with pillows and just read all day. That sounds fun.

And, Halloween is still fun, so ... ? I'm not bothered that kids could have fun on Halloween outside of school, and do a different fun thing a different day at school.

And, I think the idea that schools have to cater to a religious minority is a disproportionate response to a non-issue.

It's not really a big deal. The kids who would like to opt out can opt out. The majority of kids and families are happy to celebrate Halloween at school and they should be allowed to continue to do so. It builds community and is a super fun tradition.

Again, it's fine if you're 'not bothered', but it's also reasonable that some parents are bothered by this. I'm pretty bothered by it because I don't see any good reason for this change.

[Anonymous]

I have to say that celebrating Halloween in elementary school was one of the most exciting days I looked forward to so I understand people not wanting to give it up. But.... kids who don't celebrate do feel left out and alienated. So while I would love the tradition to continue, I certainly understand the schools' motivations to discontinue the tradition. When I was growing up, the majority of the kids in my school were white, Christians or Catholics with a few Jews sprinkled in so celebrating in school was acceptable. Now there are so many more people with differing backgrounds in the mix. We have to change with the times. There are a lot more people now who don't celebrate Halloween than there were when I was growing up. I know first hand how alienation feels. As a Jew growing up in a VERY Catholic neighborhood, I felt "othered" daily. It is no fun. So I sympathize with those who feel "othered" by Halloween. Someone claimed it was right-wing Christians driving this, but I think it is left-wing, liberal-minded people making these decisions to help everyone feel included.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have to say that celebrating Halloween in elementary school was one of the most exciting days I looked forward to so I understand people not wanting to give it up. But.... kids who don't celebrate do feel left out and alienated. So while I would love the tradition to continue, I certainly understand the schools' motivations to discontinue the tradition. When I was growing up, the majority of the kids in my school were white, Christians or Catholics with a few Jews sprinkled in so celebrating in school was acceptable. Now there are so many more people with differing backgrounds in the mix. We have to change with the times. There are a lot more people now who don't celebrate Halloween than there were when I was growing up. I know first hand how alienation feels. As a Jew growing up in a VERY Catholic neighborhood, I felt "othered" daily. It is no fun. So I sympathize with those who feel "othered" by Halloween. Someone claimed it was right-wing Christians driving this, but I think it is left-wing, liberal-minded people making these decisions to help everyone feel included.

This is called life. All kids will feel alienated and left out from time to time. We cannot just get rid of every single thing so no one has hurt feelings. We will be left with nothing.

[Anonymous]

Our school used to do a Halloween parade and it really wasn’t all that amazing, and was over so quickly. Now they do a fall celebration with games, treats, etc. My kids are happy just having some general fun activities; they really don’t care much about a parade. Our neighborhood has a Halloween parade and of course trick or treating, and that is plenty of fun.

I’m sure your PTA could put together a fall festival that would make for a fun day.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm having trouble understanding the strong feelings in this thread. Halloween is fun, but isn't it still fun if you don't celebrate it at school? I have read the majority of the posts, and I just don't get why this is something people are angry about.

I can try to explain. I'm angry that schools are cancelling a fun, well-liked, secular tradition to accommodate a small group of religious fanatics. That's actually pretty scary to me.

I'm glad that you're happy with the changes, but it's actually pretty understandable that some parents would be saddened to see that a school tradition is now being cancelled.

Does that make sense to you?

I'm not happy with the changes. I just don't care enough to have feelings one way or the other. Also, I think being saddened is different than being angry. I could understand a mild nostalgic sadness, but the anger and hostility feels disproportionate to me.

Overall, I don't care whether kids celebrate non-religious holidays at school. I want them to have some joy in school. They should sometimes do fun things, but I don't care what those things are. Assemblies, field trips, Dress Like a Book Character Day, end of unit party, whatever. Kids can get excited about all kinds of things. DH's elementary used to have read-a-thons where kids came in their PJs with pillows and just read all day. That sounds fun.

And, Halloween is still fun, so ... ? I'm not bothered that kids could have fun on Halloween outside of school, and do a different fun thing a different day at school.

And, I think the idea that schools have to cater to a religious minority is a disproportionate response to a non-issue.

It's not really a big deal. The kids who would like to opt out can opt out. The majority of kids and families are happy to celebrate Halloween at school and they should be allowed to continue to do so. It builds community and is a super fun tradition.

Again, it's fine if you're 'not bothered', but it's also reasonable that some parents are bothered by this. I'm pretty bothered by it because I don't see any good reason for this change.

Aside from the religious or cultural issues, I think a lot of parents, especially working parents, have a hard time getting costumes ready for school...it puts a burden on families. I think a PTA sponsored non costume Fall party is the way to go.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm having trouble understanding the strong feelings in this thread. Halloween is fun, but isn't it still fun if you don't celebrate it at school? I have read the majority of the posts, and I just don't get why this is something people are angry about.

Just your everyday manifestation of the current culture wars permeating society.