Does anyone have a genuinely good relationship with their parents?

[Anonymous]

I am estanged from my parents. DH's parents are difficult and have mental health issues.

Our children are young (under 10) but we are working hard to raise them with love, open communication, boundaries, and shared activities. I realize there is no guarantee as there are many variables but I hope that when they are adults, they want to have close contact and shared activities. To my surprise, DH revealed that he thinks no one really has this with their parents and it's too much to hope for.

Does anyone just call their parents to say hi? Share a story and ask for advice? Meet up to do something they enjoy with them? Besides purely out of obligation?

[Anonymous]

Of course. My parents died 5 and 10 years ago but I spoke to my mom every day. I now call and hang out with my MIL regularly. She brings so much to my family's life.

[Anonymous]

Yes! I am so crazy about my parents! I call my mom daily when I'm walking home to talk. We chat about absolutely everything. I have boundaries (don't complain about DH or allow them to control my life) but they're my favorite people to talk to. My mom is more like my big sister or best friend than my mom.

Dh's parents are great too, but they don't like to talk on the phone. We see them fairly often (10x a year) and we enjoy our visits.

[Anonymous]

Absolutely. I talk to my mother pretty much every day. My dad and I talk several times a week. We talk to my inlaws at least once or twice a week. They all live out of state, so we only see them three or four times a year. I really miss living in the same town. When we were living back home we ate supper together every Sunday after church, I miss that so much.

[Anonymous]

Yup, I love my parents and wish they would move closer to me. I was a pain in the ass teenager and never thought I would say that. They are both in their 80's and are still a blast to be with. Very young at heart.

[Anonymous]

Yes, definitely. I call my mother daily on my way home from work, and we have family dinners usually every Sunday. We are very candid with one another and always have been... we do our share of gossiping. When my schedule allows, I enjoy going to movies with her and just coming over to her house. It's interesting because we are 41 years apart. She does NOT have the same relationship with my two siblings who are 20 years older than me. My father, on the other hand, is a real asshole, and we have never had a very genuine relationship, so there's that

[Anonymous]

OP, I think there are two issues here ~
There's you being a good parent to a child
and there's the adult relationship you'll have with your adult children.
Take it one step at a time. Be a good parent now.
"Parenting" is not appropriate w/an adult child - they are grown, independent adults. However thinking about that now will only serve to get you off-track for what you need to do now. Now you need to be a parent, not a friend.

[Anonymous]

Love my mom. My dad hasn't been very engaged since I've become an adult, but I blame his messed up relationships with his bio dad and stepdad.

[Anonymous]

Love my parents, always have. We're the most functional family I know.

[Anonymous]

I had a great relationship with both my parents and both my inlaws. Sadly, they have all passed. My parents were local - I saw them at least 4-5 times a week. My inlaws lived a 2.5 hour drive away. We would see them every other month and talk on the phone regularly.
My DH and I seem to be a rare commodity these days in that both our parents were married for over 50 years before they passed. We don’t have a lot of divorce in our family.

[Anonymous]

I have a great relationship with my mother. At the beginning of my marriage I though I had a very good relationship with my MIL, until I found out she gossips about me with my two SILs. I was so hurt.

[Anonymous]

Yes! My parents are much older (I'm the youngest "accident" of 4). We talk almost daily. My parents have helped us financially and it allowed me to stop working and take care of our 3 kids. We wouldn't have ever been able to do it on DH's salary alone. They are lifesavers.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
Does anyone just call their parents to say hi? Share a story and ask for advice? Meet up to do something they enjoy with them? Besides purely out of obligation?

Yes both DH and I did. My father is only one left. I facetime with my father 5-6 time a week. We visit and he visits. Next week we will al bee together for the holidays (sister and her family, me and my family and dad)

[Anonymous]

I love my in-laws, my parents have been dead since I was a kid. They're wonderful and welcoming. I hang out with them as friends, not just as family.

[Anonymous]

My mom and I have had a VERY patchy history, but we talk and visit frequently.