Please Share If You Have Recovered From 'Caring Too Much About Win/Loss' of Your Kids Sports

[Anonymous]

if there's any books or videos or whatever that helped please share with me. i've already made progress since last year when i was screaming (not obscenities though) from the sideline to know keeping my mouth shut the entire game no matter what. but i'm still 'screaming quietly' inside and getting mad about a badly played game.

[Anonymous]

You should simply remove yourself from the equation.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:if there's any books or videos or whatever that helped please share with me. i've already made progress since last year when i was screaming (not obscenities though) from the sideline to know keeping my mouth shut the entire game no matter what. but i'm still 'screaming quietly' inside and getting mad about a badly played game.

Changing the Game, by John O'Sullivan

http://changingthegameproject.com/

[Anonymous]

You don't need to go to every game. Switch off with your spouse. My DC specifically asked us not to both attend - he felt too much pressure.

[Anonymous]

See a therapist. That level of investment in another person's performance is not healthy.

[Anonymous]

Yes, don't attend every game or sit by yourself and back a bit from the sidelines.

[Anonymous]

I banned my husband.

[Anonymous]

Well, do you want your kid to quit? Then keep screaming and/or getting mad.

[Anonymous]

Don't care less - it takes all the fun out of it. It is easy to go through the whole thought process of why it barely matters.

But it's sports and it's your kid and it's fun and you care. Really not much wrong with that. Just practice some anger management, carry yourself with dignity, and remember how much you love your kid and how fun it is to watch him / her and these days don't last forever.

[Anonymous]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ZxduazZp7bo

No talking about the game for 30 minutes after the game is over.

No cheering or yelling of any kind for 1 season. Walk out if you have to. Start with 1/2 a game, show up at the half.

[Anonymous]

When parents care this much about the game and the outcome, kids learn that the game is not for or about them. If you want your kid to actually enjoy/learn from the sport, you need to back off and let it be about them, not about you.

[Anonymous]

Bring a book. My DS fences so there is a lot of down time during tournaments. We both bring books and while the other parents are pacing and talking non-stop to their kids about their last bout, we are reading. If the book is good, sometimes I keep reading while he fences. Most of the parents are WAY too involved in the bouts. They are coaching from the sidelines, etc. It is kind of sad when you stand back and watch. Most of them help their kids into/out of their fencing jackets, lames, etc even when the kid can do it themselves. Take a deep breath and remember that it is okay that your child will not make a living as a competitive ___________. Think about what the sport is teaching your child. My child learns patience (fencing tournaments take HOURS), good sportsmanship (sometimes he wins and sometimes his friends win), judgement, etc. Will they learn these lessons if you are acting like a maniac? Probably not.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Bring a book. My DS fences so there is a lot of down time during tournaments. We both bring books and while the other parents are pacing and talking non-stop to their kids about their last bout, we are reading. If the book is good, sometimes I keep reading while he fences. Most of the parents are WAY too involved in the bouts. They are coaching from the sidelines, etc. It is kind of sad when you stand back and watch. Most of them help their kids into/out of their fencing jackets, lames, etc even when the kid can do it themselves. Take a deep breath and remember that it is okay that your child will not make a living as a competitive ___________. Think about what the sport is teaching your child. My child learns patience (fencing tournaments take HOURS), good sportsmanship (sometimes he wins and sometimes his friends win), judgement, etc. Will they learn these lessons if you are acting like a maniac? Probably not.

so did you recover from caring too much before or you just felt superior and had to lecture?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Bring a book. My DS fences so there is a lot of down time during tournaments. We both bring books and while the other parents are pacing and talking non-stop to their kids about their last bout, we are reading. If the book is good, sometimes I keep reading while he fences. Most of the parents are WAY too involved in the bouts. They are coaching from the sidelines, etc. It is kind of sad when you stand back and watch. Most of them help their kids into/out of their fencing jackets, lames, etc even when the kid can do it themselves. Take a deep breath and remember that it is okay that your child will not make a living as a competitive ___________. Think about what the sport is teaching your child. My child learns patience (fencing tournaments take HOURS), good sportsmanship (sometimes he wins and sometimes his friends win), judgement, etc. Will they learn these lessons if you are acting like a maniac? Probably not.

so did you recover from caring too much before or you just felt superior and had to lecture?

NP here. I thought it's good advice and I don't think PP was trying to come off as superior. OP asked for these types of comments.

[Anonymous]

Parents who are too into their kids' sporting events are the chief reason why we participate very minimally in organized team sports for kids. I cannot stand asinine, self-important jackass parents who are apoplectic on the sidelines of a game. Every now and then I can't help myself and I burst out laughing at someone who is particularly egregious. That goes over really well.