If you work from home and have young kids, how do you handle childcare?

[Anonymous]

I'm a soon-to-be first time mom, and I also happen to work from home - which is a sweet, sweet gig. I bring home just over 50% of the family income, so while I don't have to work and am willing to quit if that turns out to be best for our family, I enjoy working and at least want to give it a go before making a decision. I do travel about once a month right now but can probably scale back a little once baby is here.

I'm trying to figure out the best childcare arrangements. To me, a nanny seems like the best option for the first year or two. I'd really like to continue nursing, and my job flexibility during the day would allow it (I will also pump for those times I'm away or can't take a break to nurse). I also like that we wouldn't have to take baby anywhere in the mornings and there would be on-on-one attention.

That said, I recognize being a nanny when the mom is working from home isn't a great gig. And once the kid (eventually kids hopefully) gets older, it will only get harder for a nanny to have authority/autonomy if I'm in the house. Plus, our house isn't super well-equipped for the setup: I do have my own office with (currently glass, could switch them out) doors, but it's a one-story and the main living areas aren't that far from my office.

I'd like to hear how others handle it. Right now I'm seeing 3 options besides nanny & me both in the house at the same time:
- We have enough room to build a nice shed on our property and finish it out with flooring, electricity, wall heater/cooler/windows, etc. That could serve as my office, although I probably would need to duck in at least once a day to use the bathroom (probably at lunch). I like that I'd be on the property, no commute, could be nearby to nurse but sound issues are minimized and I'm not in the house as a distraction.

- Local daycare. The one I'm looking at has cameras, I like that you don't have to worry about sick days or vacation days or taxes. They do allow you to pop in to nurse- it's about a 10 minute drive from my house each way.

- In-home daycare at someone else's home. I don't have any leads on this.

How do you handle childcare if you work from your home?

[Anonymous]

Your house doesn't seem like the best setup for a nanny situation, although it could work if you turn your office into a shed.

At some point you may want to switch to a daycare anyway. I really believe kids get more stimulation there and the daycare routine has worked very well for us. Of course, the benefits of daycare mostly apply to older babies and beyond, so a nanny for the first few months at least might be good.

I know a mom who is WAH with a young toddler who attends daycare nearby - it is working very well for them.

For some reason I've never felt that comfortable about home daycares. Maybe that's just me though.

[Anonymous]

I think you could go the nanny route as long as you do it "right."

By right, I highly suggest you try your best not to step on each others toes.

Let your nanny have as much autonomy as possible + do not micromanage her during her shift.

Let her take the baby out during the day for outings and walks, and if you hear the baby crying or anything, try to stay out of the situation and let the nanny figure things out on her own, unless of course she asks you personally.

These situations can be tricky, but I believe they can also work out if the parent can set boundaries and not overstep them.

The parent needs to focus on her work, and let the nanny focus on hers.

Of course, the nanny may feel like you are watching every move she makes and listening to every single sound being made, but if you honestly stay out of their way as much as possible, then I truly believe a set-up like this can work.

I do not think a daycare situation would be feasible w/a young baby because your baby will need the one-on-one attention that only an in home nanny can provide.

Hope this helps.

[Anonymous]

Tons of young babies go to daycares. So that is totally doable.

I worked from home until my son was 4. First 2 years was at a home daycare 4 days a week. Day 5 was a sitter at my house.

From 2-4 we did the nanny route.

My office was a separate floor. I only came up for lunch. That's tge only way it works I think.

[Anonymous]

I WFH and was a nanny years back to a family where dad worked at home. Their home was rather large though, dad has his own office (solid doors) on the main level, but far enough from the living room that if we were loud it wasn't disruptive. We were a really good fit though, so if you don't have that I could see it being an issue. It was handy as well, thinking back to the time their DC pooping during their nap and decided to paint themselves and the walls...

That being said, we opted for a daycare center for DD. It's a 5min drive from our home, I can drop in whenever, and she has the structure of a school and the socialization with her classmates. I opted not to drop in to nurse though, I didn't want to interrupt her day. I can cover most sick days and DH is a fed, so he covers federal holidays that I don't get. I make about 40% of household income, but 6 figures (plus I love what I do and my company is amazing) so it makes more sense for me to work than not.

While your child is a baby, coming and going won't be as difficult with a nanny. By around 10months though, when separation anxiety starts kicking in it will be much more difficult. Can you handle hearing your child cry if they catch a glimpse of you? Also many nannies will not work for a family with a WFH parent, so you'll be starting with a smaller pool.

[Anonymous]

I work from home M-W and go into the office on Th. (I am off Friday).

I have an 18 m.o. We are in a nanny share. On Mon and Thurs, she is at my house and on Mon, I stay out of her way as much as possible - only coming out of my office when the baby is sleeping to grab lunch, unless absolutely necessary. On Tues/Wed, she is at the other family's house. When he was little (she started at 4 months), I occasionally came up to nurse (instead of pump), but now that he gets upset when I walk out, its much better for him not to see me at all.

Sometimes I hear him crying and want to go up to help, but I trust my nanny 100% and know that he is fine and she can handle it and she would come get me if she couldnt.

I NEVER micromanage anything she does or suggest doing it differently while she is working. If there is something to change, I would tell her separately. I wouldnt want my boss standing over me all day.

[Anonymous]

PP here

For my first 2 kids, they were in daycare from 4 months and had a wonderful experience, but we were in an apartment and working with someone there would have been impossible,

[Anonymous]

You could do a nanny share and have the other family host.

[Anonymous]

I WFH and my office is on the main floor, right next to the family room and then kitchen. It works out fine. DD understands I'm working when my door is closed. It took her 2-3 times of standing outside my door (it has glass) with a sad look but then she figured it out.

The nice thing is you can be involved when you want to. Right now, I heard the nanny coming home from a playdate with DD. I'll tell DD good bye as she goes upstairs for her nap. Also DD has had the sniffles the last two days, so I can monitor that.

The key is to not intervene authority-wise during nanny-time. Let the nanny run the show, and drop in if you want to say hello but that's it. Children adapt well and will understand the situation.

I really like our arrangement as I _am_ around in case something comes up, and can "drop in" on DD like when she's eating lunch and I want to get something to drink.

I don't do many calls but if you do, consider soundproofing your office.

[Anonymous]

I do this half the week with an au pair - my "office" is in my bedroom on the second floor, but the au pair and my son have such a social life that they honestly aren't around all that much. Even when he was younger, I definitely tried to stay out of everything unless there was some disaster happening...

Its worked out great as far as I'm concerned, but the newest au pair has some minor reservations. Its fine though, she knew this was the arrangement getting into it.

[Anonymous]

I work from home full time and have had a full time nanny since birth. My DD is 3. It works well. My DD knows I work and never bothers me during the day. I have an office in the house. I just had a 2nd daughter who is 3 months old and have same nanny. Eldest will start two morning a week preschool in Jan. And will go 5 mornings a week Starting in Aug.

[Anonymous]

I work from home two days a week and am in the office three days a week. We have an open concept main floor and I work at the dining room table.

The nanny takes the kids out of the house a lot, but when they're home the nanny and I back each other up quite well.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You could do a nanny share and have the other family host.

This would be a great solution for yourfamily .

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You could do a nanny share and have the other family host.

This would be a great solution for yourfamily .

+1 - We had a nanny at home when our oldest was a baby. I thought it was awesome at first. I could see her in the middle of the day and continue breastfeeding easily. Once she got older, this stopped being an ideal solution. Kids are noisy and I also think the nanny had a hard time being in charge because I was always at home. Also, because DD knew I was at home, she wanted to see me all the time and sometimes I couldn't stop what I was doing to say hello so this was very upsetting to her.

Kids go to daycare (and elementary school) now and it's a much better solution for us all around. Like anything, your first childcare solution may not be your forever solution and it's ok. You may have a set up at home that easily allows you to have your child at home. I have client calls often and unfortunately, noise just seems to travel in our house so it doesn't work for us.

[Anonymous]

I worked from home PT with a nanny. It was possible, but once the kids started preschool and were out of the house, it was such a huge improvement. I felt much more able to focus, even though I never left my office while they were home. There's just that part of me that couldn't 100% turn it off.