My younger sister has a two year old and now she is an expert?

[Anonymous]

I am the second of six kids and my sister is the baby. I have three teens 13 16 and 18, and my mother, of course, had six, but now my sister is the expert. She doesn't believe in God, sugar or babysitters. I don't care about the first two, but my mom and I are getting tired of #3. This year she can't take her child shopping by herself, so one of us has to watch him or she can't go at all. She doesn't trust teenagers, although she was the queen of the neighborhood when she was 13 and babysitting, and bought herself a car with her earnings for goodness sakes.

I took my kids shopping and I learned to handle them in stores. I don't think it is too much for her to do the same with just one. She has her husband's parents so cowed that they are afraid to be left alone with her child in case they do something wrong. Her husband just gives in, and they don't go anywhere anymore unless they can bring the baby with them or drop him us with one of us. They have a really nice pair of sisters that live next door to them that babysit all the neighbors, and my brother wants to use them too, but he is afraid to bring it up. I told him that he is a parent as well, but he wants me to tell her.

Should I? I thought about just cutting her off and forcing the issue.

[Anonymous]

Just be unavailable when she needs to babysit unless it's truly an emergency (ie someone is going to the hospital). 3 teenagers is a lot to handle - you have a lot scheduled and need to do your own shopping..)

Yes, your sister is unreasonable. You don't need DCUM to tell you this, but there are plenty of us on here to do so anyways...

[Anonymous]

She's only got one, right? I was kinds like this until 2 and 3 came along. I agree with the PP, just don't give in to her demands, and over time she will adapt.

[Anonymous]

She'll get that First-Time Mom stick out of her ass at some point. Until then, you and your mom shouldn't cater to the nonsense.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:They have a really nice pair of sisters that live next door to them that babysit all the neighbors, and my brother wants to use them too, but he is afraid to bring it up. I told him that he is a parent as well, but he wants me to tell her.

Wait, what?

[Anonymous]

We do not use babysitters but we do not have a need. Why should she pay someone when you will do it for free. It is ok to say no.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am the second of six kids and my sister is the baby. I have three teens 13 16 and 18, and my mother, of course, had six, but now my sister is the expert. She doesn't believe in God, sugar or babysitters. I don't care about the first two, but my mom and I are getting tired of #3. This year she can't take her child shopping by herself, so one of us has to watch him or she can't go at all. She doesn't trust teenagers, although she was the queen of the neighborhood when she was 13 and babysitting, and bought herself a car with her earnings for goodness sakes.

I took my kids shopping and I learned to handle them in stores. I don't think it is too much for her to do the same with just one. She has her husband's parents so cowed that they are afraid to be left alone with her child in case they do something wrong. Her husband just gives in, and they don't go anywhere anymore unless they can bring the baby with them or drop him us with one of us. They have a really nice pair of sisters that live next door to them that babysit all the neighbors, and my brother wants to use them too, but he is afraid to bring it up. I told him that he is a parent as well, but he wants me to tell her.

Should I? I thought about just cutting her off and forcing the issue.

Seriously, you have to ask? Either you're helping or you're hindering. Guess which category you fall into? Do something different and change.
"Trixie, I am no longer available to watch little Pierpont. I'm happy to have you visit with him, but I can't babysit anymore."

[Anonymous]

What are you mad at? That you have to spend time with your nephew or your SIL isn't as put together as you are?

Stop being so judgmental. She may just need a break from her two-year old and this is her method of asking.

[Anonymous]

Don't get involved in your sister's marriage, that's between her and her husband. Babysit if you feel like babysitting, say no if it isn't a good day. That's the end of your appropriate involvement.

[Anonymous]

I am one of six and the baby. Do you understand the birth order dynamic of being the oldest of such a large family and how the youngest is treated?

[Anonymous]

Not sure what the problem is, if she asks and you don't want to babysit just say "no". If she tries to guilt you, you say "please stop the guilt trip" and walk away/hang up/don't text back

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Don't get involved in your sister's marriage, that's between her and her husband. Babysit if you feel like babysitting, say no if it isn't a good day. That's the end of your appropriate involvement.

This. This is not your problem. It's not your place to interfere in her marriage and it's not your place to fix her parenting. It's clear that you judge your sister, which is all the more reason not to get involved. Babysit when you want to, say no when you don't.

[Anonymous]

Maybe your teens could earn some college money by sitting? Win-win?

[Anonymous]

she can't take her child shopping by herself, so one of us has to watch him or she can't go at all

YOU are making/allowing this to be an issue/problem.
It's not about "forcing" anything.
You just say you aren't available.
No drama.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Don't get involved in your sister's marriage, that's between her and her husband. Babysit if you feel like babysitting, say no if it isn't a good day. That's the end of your appropriate involvement.

I agree. Your sister's childcare decisions aren't something you should be so worked up over. If you feel overburdened with her babysitting requests, then just start declining when you feel it's too much. What she decides to utilize, or not utilize, instead is not really your business.