would you be annoyed if your MIL

[Anonymous]

sent out photo christmas cards of your dc without asking first? I got our annual holiday card from the in-laws today and it features pictures of my DS and DD. I had no idea she was planning on doing this. It bothers me b/c MIL and FIL send out cards to hundreds of people, the majority of whom are strangers to us. (he is somewhat of a public figure in their town). Am I off-base for being a bit annoyed? I'm not sure how to broach this, but I don't want to say nothing and have her repeat this again. I understand that she is proud of her grandkids, but I still feel she should have asked first. Is this something people do?

[Anonymous]

That is very, very strange. I would be very mad too.
I've received Christmas cards with the grandparents, their kids and all of the grandkids, and I don't think that's strange, but just the grandkids is weird.
In any event, they should've made sure you were on board first.

[Anonymous]

I'm awful enough that if I didn't feel comfortable bringing it up, I'd keep to a no pic policy for 2015.

Awful, but effective.

[Anonymous]

It is something people do - especially if they are somewhat political. I am a little surprised you don't know this if you married into this type of family. I doubt I'd be annoyed, but then I grew up in a political family and expect this sort of thing. Is your husband upset?

[Anonymous]

It's VERY weird, and an over-stepping of bounds on their part. It'd be one thing if all three generations did a family holiday photo with the intent you'd ALL send out the same pic. But this is not that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It is something people do - especially if they are somewhat political. I am a little surprised you don't know this if you married into this type of family. I doubt I'd be annoyed, but then I grew up in a political family and expect this sort of thing. Is your husband upset?

This. It would not bother me AT ALL. I actually find it rather heartwarming. It shows that my kids are a proud portion of their lives.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It is something people do - especially if they are somewhat political. I am a little surprised you don't know this if you married into this type of family. I doubt I'd be annoyed, but then I grew up in a political family and expect this sort of thing. Is your husband upset?

OP here. Thanks for the response. FIL is not in politics, but he is a public figure. There are lots of prominent public figure positions that don't involve politics---minister, educator, doctor, etc--particularly in the small-ish city they are from.

[Anonymous]

I don't think this is weird at all, and I am admittedly
A high strung person.

[Anonymous]

My mom just did that and I thought the card was cute. It had one pic of just the grand kids, one pic of just their kids (including me) and one pic of my parents. Didn't bother me at all.

[Anonymous]

No I would not be the least bit upset. My parents ordered their Christmas cards and I know the card will have pictures of my son and my brother's two girls on them. Talk to your MIL if it upsets you but honestly I don't see the problem.

[Anonymous]

Of course it's not weird. I often get Christmas cards with pics of grandchildren. I think it's sweet that the grandparents want pics of their grandchildren on their cards!

[Anonymous]

I would be annoyed if it was one of the photos I was planning on using

[Anonymous]

My MIL used to do this. It drove me crazy, she never asked.

[Anonymous]

Well, my mom includes a photo of all the grand kids in her holiday card...and I don't think it's weird. And I bet you wouldn't care if your own mother did it instead of your MIL.

Like a pp said, political types do this sort of thing. The president of our company emails around a holiday greeting with a photo of him and his wife and their grand kids (but not their kids).

I wouldn't fight this battle, OP. I might have my DH comment to his mom that next year you two could send them pictures you've chosen or have the kids photographed with the grandparents.

[Anonymous]

Mine does this too. Not pictures of them with the grandkids, just a single picture of our kids. She did ask this year, but never did before. I think it's weird, but I just internally roll my eyes and get on with life.