I came out about my husbands mental illness

[Anonymous]

To some friends and family. Best thing I could have done. I think he has bipolar. No, I am _sure_ he has bipolar. It all fits. He misled his docs. He misled me. Most importantly, He misled himself.

He has verbally and emotionally abused me and villified me and now attempted to manipulate our daughter. He is NOT taking us down with him.

I will help him get the treatment he needs, but inside, I am making plans for my escape. Wish me luck.

I encourage anyone who has suffered hard and alone for a long time: just tell ONE PERSON. You might be shocked at the compassion and support you receive.

Of course, my MIL is trying to blame me. Expect some of that bs too!

[Anonymous]

Best wishes, OP. Hope you and your family are able to get the help you need.

[Anonymous]

Are you a dr?

[Anonymous]

My thoughts are with you. My husband has BP2 which manifests pretty differently than you described above, but very difficult in its own way. I have not spoken about it with anyone, and at times, is very tough.

[Anonymous]

11:12 again. If you truly suspect BP, you need to push your husband into seeing a doctor. It will be disastrous to leave untreated.

[Anonymous]

Good for you, OP. I"m glad you've recognized how unhealthy your current situation is and are taking steps these steps. I know how very difficult it is. My DH suffers from depression/anxiety and when he's cycling, he becomes very toxic. It was a long road for him to get on the right path. I don't know if your DH will get on the right path on time but make the best decision for you and your DD. Glad he's not going to take you down with him. Hugs to you.

[Anonymous]

Sounds like he was just a mean hateful shithead.

Your post reminds me of one I read a few weeks ago on another forum. Woman's husband was screaming at her, in her face hard, hitting her. She claimed he was depressed and acting out. She too claims he has mental health problems. She read it on the internet.

Your husband needs a real doctor diagnosis, not your opinion. Because unless someone can prove he is mentally unhinged, he will use everything you say against you.

Do you all seek out these horrible men or is there some crazy sprinkles in the water that affects only the men after marriage ? It's like you all marry babies that pitch fits and refuse to grow up.

[Anonymous]

I think that was really shitty of you. If he had a problem, you help him through it. You just diagnosed him yourself and told everyone. Very rude of you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think that was really shitty of you. If he had a problem, you help him through it. You just diagnosed him yourself and told everyone. Very rude of you.

I agree. A few hours on Google and you feel qualified to make a mental health diagnosis? And if what you describe of his behavior is true, nothing about it sounds like bipolar disorder.

It also sounds like you are bitching about him to friends and family, not "coming out" about his mental illness.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think that was really shitty of you. If he had a problem, you help him through it. You just diagnosed him yourself and told everyone. Very rude of you.

+1

Makes you actually seem like the crazy one. You are trying to ostracize him for a condition he has not been diagnosed with. I am sorry for how he treats you but he may be just a jerk.

[Anonymous]

Does not sound like the symptoms of bipolar disorder. I think the healthiest thing for you is to get away from him. You can't save him unless he wants to be saved.

[Anonymous]

Go to his psychiatrist with him and tell the doctor your observations. Let the doctor diagnose. Keep a journal.

Whatever the diagnosis, abuse is not acceptable. Unmedicated bipolar people can be emotionally and verbally abusive. It presents differently for different people.

Just watch who you tell and how you talk about it. It's one thing to talk about his behavior and treatment of you, if you're seeking support to help you all. Keep in mind it can seem like an act of war.

[Anonymous]

Hey, stop criticizing the OP.

Intelligent people who research information thoroughly can come to useful informal diagnoses, even without the benefit of a medical degree. I'm a research scientist and have made much better judgements than my doctor husband about my children's health and learning disabilities. He acknowledges it himself (in retrospect, of course!).

For OP to come to this point, who knows how long she suffered in isolation? Years, perhaps. Don't dismiss such a traumatic period of self-doubt and crazy-making so disparagingly.

OP, first protect yourself and your children. If your husband refuses to get medical help, he's on his own. My FIL has bipolar disorder, and my MIL is a saint for having supported him all these years. DH and his brothers have learned to help with material issues, but disengage themselves emotionally from their father.
Best of luck.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:
Hey, stop criticizing the OP.

Intelligent people who research information thoroughly can come to useful informal diagnoses, even without the benefit of a medical degree. I'm a research scientist and have made much better judgements than my doctor husband about my children's health and learning disabilities. He acknowledges it himself (in retrospect, of course!).

For OP to come to this point, who knows how long she suffered in isolation? Years, perhaps. Don't dismiss such a traumatic period of self-doubt and crazy-making so disparagingly.

OP, first protect yourself and your children. If your husband refuses to get medical help, he's on his own. My FIL has bipolar disorder, and my MIL is a saint for having supported him all these years. DH and his brothers have learned to help with material issues, but disengage themselves emotionally from their father.
Best of luck.

To research and assume someone has an illness, is one thing. To do that and then go to his family and his friends and tell them all that he has this condition, if fucked up.

[Anonymous]

She is NOT qualified to diagnose anyone.