Am I obligated to invite my MIL to child's first birthday?

[Anonymous]

We have one child who will turn one next month. We have no local family. My parents live too far away to come in but MIL is a 2 hour plane ride away. We see family twice a year (not for holidays).

We're just having a cake and nice dinner with the 3 of us to celebrate DC's first birthday. No real party (no one to invite).

MIL and I don't get along and she never calls us and isn't really interested in being a grandma. We send her photos of DC and she never comments on them.

We took her on an all expenses paid trip with us and DC to spend time with her grandchild in October.

If she comes it would be for 3 days max. She is a very annoying and critical houseguest. She also insists that we pay for everything when she comes to visit (including plane ticket, cab to airport, etc.).

Am I obligated to invite her because it would be depressing not to have family at DC's first birthday celebration? I know it would be a nice gesture, but her disinterest in being a grandma bothers me and she is not nice to DH.

[Anonymous]

I would not invite her.

[Anonymous]

No

[Anonymous]

Hell no!

[Anonymous]

You decide if it's depressing or not.

[Anonymous]

Read your post and I think you will find your answer.

Don't invte her. It should be a happy day, not a stressful one.

Don't forget the small cake for DC. While my son didn't chow down as I expected I love seeing pics of little kids eating their first taste of cake, hands and face all in.

Happy Birthday to your DC.

[Anonymous]

It isn't only your decision. How about asking your husband, not us.

[Anonymous]

Absolutely not!! The three of you are a family! She sounds like she would add nothing positive. And a first birthday celebration is more for the parents than the baby.

[Anonymous]

No. It's not a party with invitations going out. You are not snubbing her.

[Anonymous]

Skip it. This is about you and your child. It should be a fun event. Sounds as if MIL hasn't earned a spot at the table.

[Anonymous]

Absolutely not.

[Anonymous]

Not obligated. You can re-evaluate if she brings it up of her own accord. Until then, don't borrow trouble.

[Anonymous]

No. Don't invite her. It won't be depressing. Make it special for you. The kid will be going to bed early anway. Have some cake and open a few presents with music on. I would not fly MIL out even if I were having a party.

[Anonymous]

No. Don't reward bad behavior.

[Anonymous]

It sounds to me like she wouldn't be upset at all if you didn't invite her. As long as you're not inviting anybody else so she'd feel left out, I don't think it's a big deal.