Punishment for sneaking a peak at gift?

[Anonymous]

My upbringing was pretty dysfunctional so I'm not always sure how to react.

So, DCUM, tell me what is the right way to handle it because my parents kinda messed me up. My parents caught me once peeking at gifts, huge screaming fit about ruining the surprise & Christmas and not following instructions. They returned all the gifts I saw. Fast forward to 30 years later, my son intentionally looked into a bag I told him not to and saw his main Christmas gift. He doesn't know I know he did it. My first reaction was to respond like my parents. Right after he looked in the bag he went on & on about how that gift would be so great if we got it for him, kissed me on the cheek, and skipped around the house the next hour (no poker face). I haven't said anything.

He is 9 and a pretty great kid. Is it a punishable offense?

[Anonymous]

I don't think so.

[Anonymous]

He's a kid. Kids poke around and do the opposite of what you say. Clearly he's very excited about the gift, I would never not give it to him and return it. Not a punishable offense. If you want to make him sweat wrap it, but hide it somewhere else Christmas morning (think the bb gun on A Christmas Story). Let him open everything else and give that after.

[Anonymous]

The only punishment he needs is not getting the surprise of not knowing what's in the package when he open's it on Christmas. And if that doesn't bother him, why shouldn't he peek? I love surprises, so I learned my lesson when I peeked once as a kid and then didn't get the surprise on Christmas morning, but if he's happy now, what's the harm.

[Anonymous]

I did this as a kid, several times. What made me stop was when my mom sat down with me and basically said "I know you looked through your gifts. I wish you didn't do it because your dad and I love to see your face when you open something you really wanted. It makes me sad that we won't get to experiment that excitement because you looked early". Worked like a charm.

[Anonymous]

I'd leave him be. Kids do that kind of crap. So do many adults for that matter. He ruined his own surprise; Christmas morning he'll be stoked about the present or sad that he doesn't get a "surprise".

And try do better at hiding gifts. It's hard! (I suck at it, so I order everything online, leave things sealed in the delivery boxes, and tell my son it is boring work-related stuff -- he buys that since I work from home

[Anonymous]

The punishment is that he won't be surprised on Christmas day.

And next time, if you want something to be a surprise, hide it. You pretty much set him up to look in the bag by telling him not to.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The only punishment he needs is not getting the surprise of not knowing what's in the package when he open's it on Christmas. And if that doesn't bother him, why shouldn't he peek? I love surprises, so I learned my lesson when I peeked once as a kid and then didn't get the surprise on Christmas morning, but if he's happy now, what's the harm.

(yes, I know, it's opens)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I did this as a kid, several times. What made me stop was when my mom sat down with me and basically said "I know you looked through your gifts. I wish you didn't do it because your dad and I love to see your face when you open something you really wanted. It makes me sad that we won't get to experiment that excitement because you looked early". Worked like a charm.

Pp here. I should add that I usually would cajole my little brother into looking too which was a big reason my mom was upset i peaked

[Anonymous]

You told your kid not to look into a bag with his Christmas toys? Of course he's going to look. You should do a better job of keeping his gifts hidden.

[Anonymous]

Isn't sneaking a peek at Christmas presents a ritual of childhood?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The punishment is that he won't be surprised on Christmas day.

And next time, if you want something to be a surprise, hide it. You pretty much set him up to look in the bag by telling him not to.

This.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The only punishment he needs is not getting the surprise of not knowing what's in the package when he open's it on Christmas. And if that doesn't bother him, why shouldn't he peek? I love surprises, so I learned my lesson when I peeked once as a kid and then didn't get the surprise on Christmas morning, but if he's happy now, what's the harm.

Yes.... but he was told not to look.

Just say that you were disappointed/sad that he disregarded what you asked him and that he deprived you of the joy to see his face as he opened his present.
I would tell him what your parents did and how painful it was for you. You can tell him that this time he gets a pass BUT if he ever did it again you'll make him return his present.

[Anonymous]

I'm with the others that the result is he knows what he's getting for Christmas. I think you can let him know you wish it were a surprise, but I wouldn't lay guilt on him. Let him know that if he needs you to Really Hide potentially super exciting things, you will (remember, some adults seem incapable of not looking, they don't have the excuse of being kids).

Some people opt not to wrap or re-wrap snooped gifts, but my children love unwrapping so I would wrap or re-wrap.

In the future, hide things better. For one of my children we could tell her not to look in a closet and she wouldn't. For another, if he knew there were gifts in the house he'd be incapable of not looking for them. It's just a difference in who they are as people. Learning impulse control can be a life-long process.

[Anonymous]

Your parents sound horrible.

No punishment. He's 9, for goodness sakes! All kids try to peak at presents. Most parents don't punish them for natural curiosity. I'm so sad your parents did.

You, however, are a good parent for questioning your instincts and getting a reality check.

Merry Christmas!