Punishment for sneaking a peak at gift?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Isn't sneaking a peek at Christmas presents a ritual of childhood?

This. When I did it (wasn't a main gift though), my mom told me it was a gift for my cousin. So I was still surprised in a way on Christmas Day

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You told your kid not to look into a bag with his Christmas toys? Of course he's going to look. You should do a better job of keeping his gifts hidden.

+1. Why punish for something like this? What is the point of buying them presents if they ended up being punished for being a little impatient? You want your son to be happy. He was happy! Don't make him unhappy by punishing him. You could tease him a lit like the one of the PP said. Make him look for it by not putting it under the tree. That's punishment enough.

Next time, don't expect them to not look.

[Anonymous]

Let it go. I always snuck a peek at my gifts - my parents didn't know and I'm pretty crafty, so I always managed to find some of the gifts from middle school on. I was still stoked for Christmas because that's when I actually got to PLAY with the gift. It's like I love planning trips b/c I get to experience them twice - once in my mind during planning, then for real on the trip. If you want to keep the surprise, do better hiding in the future.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The only punishment he needs is not getting the surprise of not knowing what's in the package when he open's it on Christmas. And if that doesn't bother him, why shouldn't he peek? I love surprises, so I learned my lesson when I peeked once as a kid and then didn't get the surprise on Christmas morning, but if he's happy now, what's the harm.

Yes.... but he was told not to look.

Just say that you were disappointed/sad that he disregarded what you asked him and that he deprived you of the joy to see his face as he opened his present.
I would tell him what your parents did and how painful it was for you. You can tell him that this time he gets a pass BUT if he ever did it again you'll make him return his present.

My mother would always tell me how her mother would beat her with a hairbrush for various offense, while I only got a lecture. I really don't think that approach helped improve my character in any way. And thankfully it sounds like OP isn't the kind of crazy person who would actually return a gift because her kid peeked.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The only punishment he needs is not getting the surprise of not knowing what's in the package when he open's it on Christmas. And if that doesn't bother him, why shouldn't he peek? I love surprises, so I learned my lesson when I peeked once as a kid and then didn't get the surprise on Christmas morning, but if he's happy now, what's the harm.

+1

Don't say anything.

If you were not (personally) sensitive about it, you could say (depending on your leverage: belief in Santa, Elf/Shelf, etc.): "You know, if Santa/elf/whatever sees you peeking, they might tell mom/dad!" Keep it lighthearted.

[Anonymous]

I don't understand why you wouldn't hide the gift??

[Anonymous]

Awww, he thinks he's being sneaky and giving you kisses and skipping around? My heart just grew three sizes! You just need to be a better gift hider now.

I would pull a mind game now, like put everything else under the tree but that gift and then say you were all done and tease him a little bit. Or wrap up a picture of the gift in a tiny box so he is going bonkers trying to figure out what happened to the big box. But that's just me.

[Anonymous]

What a sweet kid to skip around and tell you how much he would love that present for Christmas. You are right to question what your parents did. I would give the boy a hug and be glad that he's happy and grateful.

[Anonymous]

I agree with PPs who say the punishment of not having the surprise on Christmas morning is probably punishment enough. I still feel bad about the bright yellow walkman I got a glimpse of in a shopping bag after my mom went shopping one Christmas (and man, I loved that walkman!). If you know he saw it, I think a conversation along the lines of what others have mentioned ("I'm disappointed you peeked... we were really looking forward to seeing your surprise Christmas morning...") is probably adequate for a one-time offense for a 9 year with less than perfect impulse control in the face of a really big temptation.

[Anonymous]

My brother did the same thing one Christmas (including talking about how much he wanted X, Y, and Z items) and my mom returned everything, so he was still surprised at Christmas.

Now, my brother was older (middle or early high school), so he definitely knew better and my mother didn't yell at him, she quietly returned everything and bought some other items.

[Anonymous]

OP, I don't even know you but I am so proud of you for rising above your crazy childhood. what a nightmare it must have been. PPs have given you a lot of "normal" options for response and I'd like to suggest one more. Pretend you didn't see him peek, and play along with his hint-dropping if he does any more. "that would be a cool gift, huh?" and then when he is happy on Christmas morning, you be happy too. Never let on that you saw. He will come to his own decision whether or not to peek and change the nature of the surprise in future years.

psychology research actually shows that him knowing the present is coming makes it more enjoyable. Anticipation is a big part of happiness.

[Anonymous]

Hmm, maybe I'm the mean mom here! I've announced to my kids that the gift rule is as follows: you peek, you don't get it. So they've been warned!

Now, whether I'd follow through on this, I don't know. It would be so much work to return things!

[Anonymous]

No surprise for him! I do like the idea that a PP had, sit him down, tell him you KNOW he looked and that part of the "magic" of Christmas is for the parents seeing the joy of kids opening gifts and he's taken something away from that. I wouldn't lay the heavy guilt trip on him, he'll probably do that to himself once you chat.
And agreeing with other PP's, HIDE THE GIFTS BETTER NEXT TIME!!!

[Anonymous]

another thought about your situation OP. You may wonder often, understandably given your history, when to punish your child for not doing what you tell him. You can consider how vital is the thing you were telling him to do, and how much risk has he exposed himself to by not obeying. In this case, the thing is not all that vital and there is no risk--peeking in a bag is not going to endanger his life, harm his schoolwork, etc. All you've done by trying to make him not peek is given him an invitation to fail.

[Anonymous]

wow this is a thing, not giving kids gifts they peeked? I have to say the idea gives me chills. So pointlessly cruel. So what if they peek? it's not like they are getting the gift early. they still have to wait. It's still fun to receive it.