How to stop torturing myself
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Anonymous
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I broke up with my long term BF a few months ago. I wasn't happy in the relationship and realized it wasn't going anywhere. My BF took it really hard. At one time he had told me he would probably kill himself if I ever broke up with him. Of course, he didn't kill himself, and seems to be doing fine. Things are also going well for me, I have a new BF who I like alot and get along with. We are taking it slow because I really don't want to hurt anyone again the way I hurt my previous BF.
How am I torturing myself? I continue to check the ex-s FB page daily and noticed he is in a new relationship. So of course I looked up his new GF and she seems really nice. I should be happy for them, right? Instead, I feel terrible and constantly check FB for updates. They just posted a "couples" picture for Thanksgiving and, even though I don't think I would ever want to date him again, I feel so sad!! They look very happy and I feel jealous of the new GF! So how can I make myself stop checking FB and making myself crazy looking at these pictures? Any advice appreciated! |
Anonymous
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Remember why you broke him. Move on. Focus on new bf. would you be ok with new bf obsessing over his ex GF? Stop choosing to be fucked up and grow up. You are sabotaging yourself and your chances of being in a healthy relationship that will "go somewhere." Get off of Facebook. Hope that helps.
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Anonymous
| Unfriend him NOW. You can do it. |
Anonymous
| OP, how old are you? You sound like you're about 19. |
Anonymous
I'm 22 if it makes a difference. |
Anonymous
Yes, it does. You are young, and it shows in the lack of maturity you are displaying in your posts. That is not meant to be an insult; it is simply a fact. I understand, as do most of us, what it is like to go through one's first major break-up. We've all been there, all survived and most of us come out on the other end just fine. Most likely, this will not be your last break-up, either -- but take comfort in the fact that subsequent ones are never quite as bad. You've gotten some good advice here. The only thing I will add is to try to tone down the drama in your thinking and your actions will then follow-- "torturing yourself," for example, is a bit extreme. You made what you believed and still seem to believe was a smart decision. Life is all about decisions -- some we later regret, but hopefully, you learn from that and acquire skills and experience that will help you next time. Now, you have to move on and focus on your life and your next steps. What he is doing now is not relevant to your life anymore. You have your whole adult life ahead of you. Look forwards, not backwards. |
Anonymous
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Isn't it funny how us humans are??
It's like we want what we know we cannot have?? If we know we can have it, we don't want it, yet the very second it becomes unattainable, we want it so bad...We cannot stand it!! I see this starts in infanthood and goes full into adulthood. Lol. And so I think it's something inbred in us. And it's purely normal. It has nothing to do w/you still having feelings for him or wanting him back for yourself, it is simply the fact that now he is unattainable and that just drives you nuts. If I were you, I would just block them both from your FB accounts. Other than that, you must exercise self-control Dear. Easier said than done, but it's necessary. Focus on your new man and your newfound happiness. Forget the past and remember that moving on to the future is what makes life worth living. We ALL want to move ahead, no one wants to move backward. EVER. Why not post a happy pic of you and your new man on your FB profile?? [code]? |
Anonymous
| The only way you are torturing yourself is by following him on social media. Block him snd give yourself some peace. |
Anonymous
| You do realize that he can see that you are viewing his photos since you are friends? He's having the last laugh here so stop stalking his and the new gf's FB pages and move on. |
Anonymous
No, you can't see when people look at your photos on FB. He might be able to guess that she is but there's no record to see who's looking at your photos. |
Anonymous
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Ask yourself why you feel so sad, when you don't want to date him, and you broke up with him.
Seems like you like feeling this way. As long as this is your emotional maturity, you will not find happiness, regardless of the guy. |
Anonymous
| Stop stalking him. He moved on and probably to someone better. Let them be. |
Anonymous
Yes there is, I've seen it. |
Anonymous
LOL...at 22 "WHERE IS THIS RELATIONSHIP GOING?!??!?!" |
Anonymous
No, there isn't. “Facebook doesn’t let you track who views your profile or your posts [such as photos]. Third-party apps are also unable to do this,” the social media company warned on its “Common Myths About Facebook” page. http://m.ibtimes.com/trying-find-out-who-looks-your-facebook-profile-stop-it-see-whos-stalking-you-apps-lead-1647450 |