Married foreign wives take kids for summer

[Anonymous]

I have a few male acquaintances who have wives from Europe (some of the males are too, but not all). It seems that many (not all) of these European wives take their children to their hometowns for the summer, effectively leaving the husband for 3 months or so and living with their parents. I have also met a woman from Jordan who does this as well. They are all still married to their husbands. I haven't met Americans who do this.

Just wondering if this is a common occurrence to foreign women. Not trying to be judgmental, just curious about the reasons people would make this choice.

[Anonymous]

Probably some or all of the following:

1 - they don't get to see their families much since they live overseas;

2 - it takes a long time (comparatively) to get overseas so you might as well stay for while when you get there;

3 - the grandparents/relatives like to spend time with the children;

4 - they want their children to experience life in a country/culture other than the US, and perhaps even learn the language as well;

5 - the kids are on summer break, so it's a good time to take an extended vacation.

And so on.

[Anonymous]

Common from what I see, but not universal. There's a difference between taking your kids to visit your family abroad and taking them to visit family in Ohio, though. Foreign travel is just more burdensome, so it makes sense to do it less often/for longer. Also, when they go to visit their family, it may not be a matter of just visiting one household. They may be trying to cram the four different trips you might take to see family in different parts of the U.S. into one visit to their home country, so longer visits make sense. Finally, if you're trying to get your kids to really learn your native language and culture, taking them to be immersed in the daily life there for a longer period of time is more effective than doing a couple of week-long trips each year.

As long as it works for their families, I don't see a problem with it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have a few male acquaintances who have wives from Europe (some of the males are too, but not all). It seems that many (not all) of these European wives take their children to their hometowns for the summer, effectively leaving the husband for 3 months or so and living with their parents. I have also met a woman from Jordan who does this as well. They are all still married to their husbands. I haven't met Americans who do this.

Just wondering if this is a common occurrence to foreign women. Not trying to be judgmental, just curious about the reasons people would make this choice.

My extended family is not from Europe, but many of the women take their kids "home" for the summer, if they don't have to work themselves. It's pretty common for at least 1 month, often more.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have a few male acquaintances who have wives from Europe (some of the males are too, but not all). It seems that many (not all) of these European wives take their children to their hometowns for the summer, effectively leaving the husband for 3 months or so and living with their parents. I have also met a woman from Jordan who does this as well. They are all still married to their husbands. I haven't met Americans who do this.

Just wondering if this is a common occurrence to foreign women. Not trying to be judgmental, just curious about the reasons people would make this choice.

My extended family is not from Europe, but many of the women take their kids "home" for the summer, if they don't have to work themselves. It's pretty common for at least 1 month, often more.

PP is your extended family from the US?

[Anonymous]

It's very common among expat wives as well -- including Americans -- for all of the same reasons listed. We were planning to move to the ME and part of the deal was that the kids and I came home for the summer to see family and friends and also to GTFO of the extreme heat.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have a few male acquaintances who have wives from Europe (some of the males are too, but not all). It seems that many (not all) of these European wives take their children to their hometowns for the summer, effectively leaving the husband for 3 months or so and living with their parents. I have also met a woman from Jordan who does this as well. They are all still married to their husbands. I haven't met Americans who do this.

Just wondering if this is a common occurrence to foreign women. Not trying to be judgmental, just curious about the reasons people would make this choice.

I don't understand why it's so hard to put yourself in someone else's shoes and try to understand, instead of just seeing it from your worldview.

If you lived overseas and all of your family was here and it cost thousands of dollars for plane tickets for yourself and kids, would you not want your kids to spend time with your family? Would you not want to see your aging parents? Would you spend that much money on tickets, visas, passports, long flights and only visit your friends and family for a week? Would you not want your kids to experience any part of the American culture you grew up in?

Obviously you wouldn't meet Americans who do this in America, because they are in their home country already, going to visit Grandma in Ohio or where ever isn't quite as arduous of a travel itinerary and leaving your job for 3 months or the comforts of your home to go a few states over and experience the same language, food, customs as you do in your own home isn't quite as exciting.

[Anonymous]

I know people who do this here in the US. Take the kids up north to the Maine family summer home for 2 months, or equivalent.

Sounds great to me - though I suppose we'd need to play the lotto first in my family.

[Anonymous]

The American women just go to the beach for the summer. Husband visits on weekends.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have a few male acquaintances who have wives from Europe (some of the males are too, but not all). It seems that many (not all) of these European wives take their children to their hometowns for the summer, effectively leaving the husband for 3 months or so and living with their parents. I have also met a woman from Jordan who does this as well. They are all still married to their husbands. I haven't met Americans who do this.

Just wondering if this is a common occurrence to foreign women. Not trying to be judgmental, just curious about the reasons people would make this choice.

My extended family is not from Europe, but many of the women take their kids "home" for the summer, if they don't have to work themselves. It's pretty common for at least 1 month, often more.

PP is your extended family from the US?

No. Asia.

Tickets are expensive. Mom take their kids for a couple months to make the most of the trip. Dads sometimes join for a shortened amount of time. Sometimes not. This only works in families where there's a SAHP or one that has a flexible or WFH schedule.

[Anonymous]

I'm american and DH is a korean immigrant. When DD is old enough, we'll be sending her to Korean grandma for the summer so that she learns the language and culture, and gets to know DH's side of the family, all of whom still live in Seoul. Traveling to korea is far too expensive and difficult to do any more than 1x/year. If DH didn't have to work he'd absolutely spend the summer there too! But I don't make quite enough money for him to be a SAHD

[Anonymous]

I am an American married to a Vietnamese man. We do this when we live overseas there (I come to the US and stay with my parents for the summer). Like others have said: my kids get time with my parents, we get to spend time in my culture, the heat is blah there (and summers are nicer here), and it makes sense to stay a long time because of the time difference and the amount of time it takes to go back and forth!

[Anonymous]

Nobody thinks this is ideal, however it is important to preserve our language, culture and family ties.
As you know, immersion is the only efficient method to attain multilingualism.

DH and I are French, with family in the Paris area. I used to take the children to Paris for a month in summer or go on a low-key vacation in France with my parents and the kids somewhere. We do this less often than the kids need it, because now they have summer camps and activities here, and I can't bear the thought of leaving DH to his work and having fun without him every single year - however as a result, my children barely know their cousins and grandparents, which is sad as well.

OP, you have to understand that living is a foreign country far away from family is enriching and thrilling in some ways but it comes at a price.





The international families we know do this as well, as this is the only time

[Anonymous]

Leaving your husband alone for three months is not very smart. They might go to Happy Hour and find more than booze to be happy about.

[Anonymous]

My parents sent my sister and me to our grandparents over the summer. My grandfather and grandmother would be in charge of 4 grandchildren for 2 months. In the mornings we would have lessons. My sister and I had language lessons while our two cousins had other subjects.
It's the only reason I'm able to read and write in my mother's tongue. Also, these two cousins are the only ones I am close to as an adult.
I'm sure my parents enjoyed the respite.