Am I being cheap? or unreasonable?

[Anonymous]

We went with a family on a trip about an hour each way from D.C. The family offered to drive and we went with them. They are a family we know for about a year or so and good friends, not great. On the way back, our friend pulls over to fill up gas and my husband runs out and pays for their gas and fills the entire tank. I think it is okay to offer and contribute for gas, but if I offered to drive I wouldn't expect anyone to pay for it. We have taken their DD places and do it gladly. I got very angry with my husband. I feel like I am very conscientious about spending money and I think it was foolish of him to do this. What do you think?

[Anonymous]

Are we talking about a Toyota Camry tank or a Ford Expedition tank? I think it matters because it's a difference of $50.

In either case, paying for an ENTIRE tanks of gas seems weird. Handing the driver a $20 would've been much less weird.

Better yet, paying their admission fee, or buying them a couple of sandwiches at your trip destination would've been the least weird / most natural thing to do.

[Anonymous]

I would have paid for the gas too. I always at least offer to pay for gas if the trip involves extended driving - 2 hours counts.

[Anonymous]

Thanks for the post-it was about $40. I agree with you. I would have offered to contribute. I hate feeling like I am being stingy, but I felt this was not necessary.

[Anonymous]

I definitely would have paid for the gas, yes. If someone else is driving a long distance (and two hours qualifies), it is appropriate and courteous.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I definitely would have paid for the gas, yes. If someone else is driving a long distance (and two hours qualifies), it is appropriate and courteous.

Agreed. It was nice of the family to A) invite you B) offer to drive.

So the least you could do is pay for the gas. Kudos for your husband for having manners and being polite.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I definitely would have paid for the gas, yes. If someone else is driving a long distance (and two hours qualifies), it is appropriate and courteous.

Yep, your husband rocks.

[Anonymous]

We definitely would have paid for something... probably the gas.

[Anonymous]

Absolutely - your husband is a champ! It could have been the gas or their dinner/ admissions but $40 sounds about right to me too.

It doesn't matter how good/ great the friends are -- it's the fact that they drove and your DH was charitable to split some of the costs.

[Anonymous]

It is always better to err on generous side.

[Anonymous]

The rule is that when someone else drives, you pay for the gas. Presumably they had to go through more hassle than you did and it is a nice way of thanking them.

[Anonymous]

My husband would have offered as well. He always wants to pick up our dinner tabs when we go out with people. I am always initially annoyed because the other couples can afford dinner but then I just tell myself my DH is generous.

[Anonymous]

Your husband did the right thing. Remember that the cost of the trip for your friends was not just gas, but wear-and-tear on the car and the service of driving, which freed you and DH up to rest or chat. I agree that you err on the side of generosity, too. Over time it comes out in the wash as friends do so with you.

Good hubby.

[Anonymous]

I think it was thoughtful, generous, and appropriate for your husband to do this. It would have also been appropriate for you or him to have simply asked, "Can we give you some money for the gas?"

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Your husband did the right thing. Remember that the cost of the trip for your friends was not just gas, but wear-and-tear on the car and the service of driving, which freed you and DH up to rest or chat. I agree that you err on the side of generosity, too. Over time it comes out in the wash as friends do so with you.

Good hubby.

agree completely.