At What Age is it Appropriate to Start to Talk about Dieting? (12 YO DS)

[Anonymous]

My 12 YO DS is overweight. It isnt really a surprise, that kind of runs in DH's family, to have tall, 'big' men. He is otherwise healthy, and active playing baseball and football, and overall not being the 12 year old that just stares at the screen all day. We eat together every dinner and breakfast, and I try to cook fairly healthy meals for both, but I wouldn't describe my meals as being 'diet' really.

Lately me and DH have been arguing over whether we should talk to DS about him going on a diet to try and control his weight. DH says that DS has no major health problems, and is active/eats fairly healthy so we should just wait and see. I think that we need to nip it in the bud before he gets to high school and gets so much busier.

[Anonymous]

Wait and see. If u really worry about his nutritionist-/ there is a wonderful nutritionist named Sandra Pinney who works with teens on healthy choices and portions for their age/size-- her approach is education as opposed to more punitive dieting. It helped get my 15 yo DD turned off of vente frappucinos and sodas-- which is what she was getting with friends when out.

[Anonymous]

I think you should talk about having a healthy body and a healthy lifestyle and making good choices. I wouldn't say anything about weight, size, or how he looks. Model good behavior and restrict the kind of food you provide to healthier choices. He's still young enough that you pretty much control what he eats, so now is the time to instill those practices.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My 12 YO DS is overweight. It isnt really a surprise, that kind of runs in DH's family, to have tall, 'big' men. He is otherwise healthy, and active playing baseball and football, and overall not being the 12 year old that just stares at the screen all day. We eat together every dinner and breakfast, and I try to cook fairly healthy meals for both, but I wouldn't describe my meals as being 'diet' really.

Lately me and DH have been arguing over whether we should talk to DS about him going on a diet to try and control his weight. DH says that DS has no major health problems, and is active/eats fairly healthy so we should just wait and see. I think that we need to nip it in the bud before he gets to high school and gets so much busier.

What are you trying to nip in the bud exactly? You admit that his behavior is healthy, he's active and eats well. If you want him to eat better, cook him better food. A diet, christ, really? Are you trying to give him an eating disorder? Has he even hit puberty yet?

[Anonymous]

It is never appropriate to talk about dieting.

It is appropriate to talk about healthy food and choices, and make sure that's what you provide.

But if it's in his bone structure, and he's active, and he's healthy, not sure what it is that you'd like to change?

[Anonymous]

Nope. Don't say anything. It's your job to cook healthy foods at home. To not buy unhealthy foods like candy and ice cream (go out for ice cream once in awhile for a treat). Don't pack juice in his lunch. Go on family bike rides or family hikes on the weekend. Have him help you cook. Tell him how handsome he is and how much you love him and how strong he is.

[Anonymous]

One thing you can do is to control what kinds of food you have available in the house. Without making a big deal about it you can revamp your panty and your meals. I have an overweight teenage girl and I've tried many different approaches over the past few years. I've now totally backed off, but I have eliminated pretty much anything but 'real' food in my house. Sure she can go out and get whatever she wants, but when she's at home her choices (and the whole family's) are limited to healthy ones.

[Anonymous]

Adolescent weight fluctuates. Don't even think about talking to him or any child about weight reduction. The adolescent years are bad enough with judgments from their peers. Don't pile on! And even better, stop focusing on this if you can. It is your anxiety.

[Anonymous]

Please for the love of God do not mention this to your son.

[Anonymous]

You don't talk about dieting, you talk about diet and health. And you enlist your pediatrician to help.

[Anonymous]

I would not use the word "diet". I think this creates more mental problems than it resolves.

Encourage and show by example eating healthy fresh fruits and veggies.

[Anonymous]

I think it's a fail not to talk about dieting with overweight teens which your son is going to be very soon.

Yes, a kid like your son is going to need to actually diet to get to a normal weight. I would stress the point isn't to be thin but it is to be the appropriate weight range for his height.

[Anonymous]

You are wrong and your husband is right.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My 12 YO DS is overweight. It isnt really a surprise, that kind of runs in DH's family, to have tall, 'big' men. He is otherwise healthy, and active playing baseball and football, and overall not being the 12 year old that just stares at the screen all day. We eat together every dinner and breakfast, and I try to cook fairly healthy meals for both, but I wouldn't describe my meals as being 'diet' really.

Lately me and DH have been arguing over whether we should talk to DS about him going on a diet to try and control his weight. DH says that DS has no major health problems, and is active/eats fairly healthy so we should just wait and see. I think that we need to nip it in the bud before he gets to high school and gets so much busier.

What are you trying to nip in the bud exactly? You admit that his behavior is healthy, he's active and eats well. If you want him to eat better, cook him better food. A diet, christ, really? Are you trying to give him an eating disorder? Has he even hit puberty yet?

+1 If he's active, healthy, and eating a balanced diet, he's fine. Yes, he may end up on the higher end of the scale but that might just be normal for his genetic make up. Some people really are just going to be bigger. I strongly encourage you to read "Your Child's Weight: Helping Without Harming" by Ellyn Satter.

Also, it is extremely normal for preteens to get a bit pudgy as they put on weight in preparation for the puberty growth spurt. You really can't know what body he'll end up with after puberty but encouraging "dieting" will likely lead to worse outcomes.

[Anonymous]

I don't think you want to hit your DS with a "diet" on the cusp of adolescence, right when he probably feels kind of uncertain anyway. There are many steps you can take together as a family, however, especially if you seek the help of a physician, RD or wellness coach.

Do you talk about healthy eating with your kids? What do you model for them? Do you drink soda or high-calorie drinks from Starbucks yourselves? Do you, as a family, read nutrition labels and plan meals together? What kinds of exercise and activity do you do together as a family?