Coping mechanisms for in law visit,,,what do you do?

[Anonymous]

I am very much trying to mentally prepare for a visit from them. They, MIL especiallly, fit all the stereotypes: nagging, micromanager, and extremely high maintenance.

How do YOU cope?

[Anonymous]

Don't have them stay with you. You control your time & space.

[Anonymous]

Ignore and drink wine.

[Anonymous]

I'd say keep the visits short (4 days maximum), plan lots of activities for the in-laws and your spouse and kids to do out of the house, while you stay home to clean up/prepare dinner, and try to get them to watch the kids so you and spouse have some together time. I also feel that taking a vacation with the in-laws (like a weekend trip) is a good way to get a visit done, but without the stress of them staying with us. We have no local family so when they visit they all stay with us.

[Anonymous]

We do not have children and luckily they are not staying with us due to space issues; they will be staying with other local family. However, they DO NOT "do" activities. They specifically say they want to "sit and visit." They do this every time. Very literally, we sit in a room with them and "visit." We sit. Listen to them blab on and on. Look at them. They look at us. They don't even want to go out to eat. They like takeout to be brought to them. So they can continue. to. sit.

[Anonymous]

BTDT. They think of it as visiting and catching up but really it's the "what's been going on with ILs and everyone they know since the last visit" show.

Sitting and resting is not a big deal if there were more to the visit. Maybe have a project you can work on while they're blabbing - knitting, folding clothes, cooking something in the kitchen that requires a lot of checking and stirring and you not being chained to the sofa.

Jigsaw puzzle for everyone? LOL

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:BTDT. They think of it as visiting and catching up but really it's the "what's been going on with ILs and everyone they know since the last visit" show.

Sitting and resting is not a big deal if there were more to the visit. Maybe have a project you can work on while they're blabbing - knitting, folding clothes, cooking something in the kitchen that requires a lot of checking and stirring and you not being chained to the sofa.

Jigsaw puzzle for everyone? LOL

They have no desire to see anything in town, no museums, no shows, no art galleries, nothing. They want to sit for the duration of their 5 day visit.

Even going out to lunch and dinner would break things up. But no. They want to eat takeout inside.

What's the point of flying here?

[Anonymous]

I think this depends on the culture of the family. My family is of the "sit and talk" variety. DH's likes to do stuff. I can't stand the "sit and talk" thing, so when my family visits I just try to find things to keep busy. I go to work at least some of the time, and there are always projects of the sort PP mentions.

Just because they don't want to go out doesn't mean you can't plan on dinner out.

When I visit my family I do stuff like clean out their kitchen cabinets to keep from going stir crazy.

[Anonymous]

It will be difficult to stay busy and do other things like cook, clean, knit etc though because the "visiting and sitting" will take place at someone else's home, not ours.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Ignore and drink wine.

This. But it's vodka. Not enough to get blitzed, but enough not to care.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It will be difficult to stay busy and do other things like cook, clean, knit etc though because the "visiting and sitting" will take place at someone else's home, not ours.

Oh. So you're going to the house where they're staying and you'll SIT there instead. How many times are you expected to see them, daily? Plan for shorter visits and reward yourself each day - stop by Starbucks afterwards and get a decadent drink, go home and watch a movie with DH, download a new song each day.

Be glad they're not in your home!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It will be difficult to stay busy and do other things like cook, clean, knit etc though because the "visiting and sitting" will take place at someone else's home, not ours.

Oh. So you're going to the house where they're staying and you'll SIT there instead. How many times are you expected to see them, daily? Plan for shorter visits and reward yourself each day - stop by Starbucks afterwards and get a decadent drink, go home and watch a movie with DH, download a new song each day.

Be glad they're not in your home!

Yes that's right, expected to go over there every day for 5 days. May have convinced them to go down the street for dinner one night...WOW.

[Anonymous]

OP, my heart goes out to you. Wishing you the best for this visit. I don't think I could do it. I wouldn't last a day just sitting and visiting.

[Anonymous]

When DH's parents visit (separately), we limit contact by having them stay elsewhere (which we can do without pissing them off because we don't have enough space for them to stay with us). At night, after they've gone home, we drink.

We don't have those issues with my parents. I wish they could stay with us. It's sad when we have to close things down in the evening.

[Anonymous]

I would say I had to go into work. I even said this the day after Thanksgiving when it was a holiday for my office. Just leave the house.