Did your DD tell you the first time she had sex?

[Anonymous]

How old was she? If still in high school, what was your reaction?

[Anonymous]

My kids are young, so can't answer that part yet.

My younger sister told my other sister. Not right away, but kind of soon after. We went into "inform her about everything" mode--from contraception and STD prevention, to what makes for a good relationship. And we got her a copy of Our Bodies, Ourselves.

But parents, no, did not tell parents. Parents were, however, not oblivious to the possibilities. Mother especially had always been informative about biology, even at a young age, and both were always informative about being respectful and respected in any close friendship or romantic relationship. I think the message generally was: "It's never wrong to wait."

What I think was missing was access to birth control through the parents. Oral contraceptives: not made available, because no communication on this front. Not sure that parents would've ponied up for this, either. I think they've have adopted a strategy of "You're too young, we won't pay because it feels like we support it." Hmmm, this is an interesting thought experiment: What would they have done??? Maybe they'd have told us to earn our own money to pay? I don't know...

[Anonymous]

My sister and niece lived with us when my niece had her "first time" and my sister could tell immediately. She got home from her BF's house at maybe 8 or 9, refused to speak with us, then went upstairs to talk to her girlfriends about it for several hours. Something about the look on her face, combined with her sort of careful walking, made my sister run upstairs soon after she got back and throw a box of Plan B at her. She didn't care that her daughter was sexually active, she was just terrified that she'd be pregnant. My sister was then worried she wouldn't be able to afford the Pill for both of them, so I paid for it until the daughter, not pregnant, moved out. We never said anything to her besides getting her the contraceptives. She never brought it up. I think it was a good first time for her, she was with that guy for years before and years after, so I don't feel guilty.

[Anonymous]

My oldest daughter is 21 and still a virgin. She talks openly about it. And she feels weird about still being a virgin. I think it makes her feel like something is wrong with her. She is actually beautiful, both inside and out. She is tall and thin with big boobs. She gets hit on all the time. But she just hasn't found the right guy I guess.

My 19 year old daughter was 16 when she lost her virginity. She told me she was going to have sex with her boyfriend a couple of weeks before it happened. And she told me she had "done it" the day after it happened.

The boys were less open with me about it.

[Anonymous]

My DD was 17, a sophomore in college. She called me the next day and I could tell something was up but she didn't say it. Then she Facetime'd me the next day after that and told me. I asked how she felt about it, and later, if she needed any help getting protection and we reviewed sex safety. Then she texted to ask me not to tell her father.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My DD was 17, a sophomore in college. She called me the next day and I could tell something was up but she didn't say it. Then she Facetime'd me the next day after that and told me. I asked how she felt about it, and later, if she needed any help getting protection and we reviewed sex safety. Then she texted to ask me not to tell her father.

Did you tell him?

[Anonymous]

No, this is weird.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My DD was 17, a sophomore in college. She called me the next day and I could tell something was up but she didn't say it. Then she Facetime'd me the next day after that and told me. I asked how she felt about it, and later, if she needed any help getting protection and we reviewed sex safety. Then she texted to ask me not to tell her father.

A 17 year old sophomore in college?

[Anonymous]

My oldest two daughters (19 & 15) are still virgins. Not sure if they'll tell me, but hope they will. We're not ultra-religious, but both of my daughters are adamant that they will save themselves for marriage. Pretty confident in the 19 y/o. Now, the 15 y/o...

[Anonymous]

I wonder whyt he younger kids are so much less chaste?

[Anonymous]

No, she didn't, and I really didn't expect her to.

[Anonymous]

Yes. My 28-year-old told me within the week (she was 18 and away at college), and my 20-year-old told me the next day (she was also 18 and away at college).

I told my own parents right after I lost my virginity, so it seems normal to me.

[Anonymous]

It's a decision made by a mature individual and it is a private matter. Mature = when she is emotionally ready, not age specific.

[Anonymous]

I told my mother. Why wouldn't you?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My DD was 17, a sophomore in college. She called me the next day and I could tell something was up but she didn't say it. Then she Facetime'd me the next day after that and told me. I asked how she felt about it, and later, if she needed any help getting protection and we reviewed sex safety. Then she texted to ask me not to tell her father.

A 17 year old sophomore in college?

I went to college when I was 16.