Are you the type of person who never gets invited to activities, parties, etc?

[Anonymous]

I'm a part-working mom, looking to make new friends for myself. However, I never get invited to anything. I always feel overlooked. I've felt this way pretty much my whole life, since college. Other people seem to get tons of invitations to activities, parties, dinners, etc. and I always feel left out. If you can empathize, how did you cope? I feel like 99% of the time I do all the initiating, inviting, etc. People are happy to accept my invitations (but I haven't really made any friends, just acquaintances), but never invite me. My husband has the same problem.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm a part-working mom, looking to make new friends for myself. However, I never get invited to anything. I always feel overlooked. I've felt this way pretty much my whole life, since college. Other people seem to get tons of invitations to activities, parties, dinners, etc. and I always feel left out. If you can empathize, how did you cope? I feel like 99% of the time I do all the initiating, inviting, etc. People are happy to accept my invitations (but I haven't really made any friends, just acquaintances), but never invite me. My husband has the same problem.

I entertain a lot. I also get invited to many things - however - I only have a few people who are friends. How did I make these friends? By being open to meeting new people, by inviting people over, by accepting invitations and being interested in new people that I meet. The truth is that out of the many people who will accept your hospitality, only a handful will reciprocate back. And that is OK. That is the price you pay when you cast your net wide - that it will be rare to find the pearl. But what a joy when you find a kindred spirit.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm a part-working mom, looking to make new friends for myself. However, I never get invited to anything. I always feel overlooked. I've felt this way pretty much my whole life, since college. Other people seem to get tons of invitations to activities, parties, dinners, etc. and I always feel left out. If you can empathize, how did you cope? I feel like 99% of the time I do all the initiating, inviting, etc. People are happy to accept my invitations (but I haven't really made any friends, just acquaintances), but never invite me. My husband has the same problem.

I entertain a lot. I also get invited to many things - however - I only have a few people who are friends. How did I make these friends? By being open to meeting new people, by inviting people over, by accepting invitations and being interested in new people that I meet. The truth is that out of the many people who will accept your hospitality, only a handful will reciprocate back. And that is OK. That is the price you pay when you cast your net wide - that it will be rare to find the pearl. But what a joy when you find a kindred spirit.

It's Lucy Maud Montgomery!!! Just joking...though your wording personified her it was very good advice!!

[Anonymous]

Some people are more likely to initiate than others. And some people are more likely to throw events than other people.

In my large social circle, there are lots of events - birthday parties, BBQ's, concerts, happy hours, etc. We all take turns initiating, and basically once you've gone to a few/many things and people like you, you're on the radar for people and you get more invites. But sometimes you have to be brave enough to ask someone if you can come to something you've heard about but not gotten an invite for. (I'm always happy to extend an invitation for something if it's not a closed event.)

If you're on the shy/quiet/reserved/introverted/ relates better one-on-one side, you might be getting overlooked when people are doing invites because you're not making a big impression and when they're combing through their minds for who was at the last thing, you're not coming to mind. Or they have small events and you're not making the cut just because they'd have to cut someone else that they know better.

[Anonymous]

Keep inviting people. Eventually someone will reciprocate. This is an area where people are very busy working, commuting, helping their kids with schools that are demanding.