Child wants to attend college on a different coast

[Anonymous]

My DD insist on attending college in California. We want her to stay within driving distance, 6 hours max. We have already told her the only way would be if she received scholarships. How do we deter her away from insisting on going to colleges out there? If you have a DC who attends college where a plane ride is needed, what are the advantages and disadvantages?

[Anonymous]

You don't deter her.

You fly her out to visit schools, you make the financial situation very clear, ensure she applies to a broad range of schools, then hold your breath.

Give her the tools to make the decision, and let her feel your support no matter what happens.

[Anonymous]

Be proud. It sounds like you've given her the confidence to go out into the world. It's time to let her go. Let her know you're always there and just a phone call/plane ride away.

What's the difference between 6 hours in a car driving and 6 hours in a plane to get to CA?

[Anonymous]

My DS is a plane ride away for college. It's no big deal and flights to his city are cheap and frequent. They are generally pretty cheap to CA as well as long as you are buying in advance. Some of the rural colleges within a 5-6 hour drive are much more difficult to travel to/from unless you have a car.

Price out travel. Assume 4 trips a year (move in, thanksgiving, Christmas, spring break, return) plus 1 trip for you for parents weekend or another visit (plus possibly move in the first year). Compare to the closer options (don't assume you will want to drive a 12 hour RT on each end of thanksgiving and Christmas).

[Anonymous]

I went to school a significant plane ride from my home. My parents only allowed one trip home during the school year (the winter holiday).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My DD insist on attending college in California. We want her to stay within driving distance, 6 hours max. We have already told her the only way would be if she received scholarships. How do we deter her away from insisting on going to colleges out there? If you have a DC who attends college where a plane ride is needed, what are the advantages and disadvantages?

OP - issue with distance or money?

[Anonymous]

I went to college on the opposite coast. It was great for me. I only came home for Christmas, and Spring Break some years. I went by myself- my parents did not move me in.
As others have said- flying to CA can be easier and cheaper than a remote rural college.

[Anonymous]

From a couple families I know in this area that sent their kids to the midwest or the west coast - the kids either returned mid year of freshman year or didn't return for a second year and went to a local school.

I think this is a really appealing idea to teens but as the parent be really honest and evaluate your kids personality and their own experiences. Never been more than a drive away from home by themselves? Never been away for a few weeks in a non highly controlled environment like sleep away camp? Does your child have initiative? Can they figure out how to ask for help and where to find that help?

Going away for Grad school is always an option.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:From a couple families I know in this area that sent their kids to the midwest or the west coast - the kids either returned mid year of freshman year or didn't return for a second year and went to a local school.

I think this is a really appealing idea to teens but as the parent be really honest and evaluate your kids personality and their own experiences. Never been more than a drive away from home by themselves? Never been away for a few weeks in a non highly controlled environment like sleep away camp? Does your child have initiative? Can they figure out how to ask for help and where to find that help?

Going away for Grad school is always an option.[/quote]

That's exactly what we did and it worked out really well for us.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Be proud. It sounds like you've given her the confidence to go out into the world. It's time to let her go. Let her know you're always there and just a phone call/plane ride away.

What's the difference between 6 hours in a car driving and 6 hours in a plane to get to CA?

Cost of air ticket.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Be proud. It sounds like you've given her the confidence to go out into the world. It's time to let her go. Let her know you're always there and just a phone call/plane ride away.

What's the difference between 6 hours in a car driving and 6 hours in a plane to get to CA?

Money.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Be proud. It sounds like you've given her the confidence to go out into the world. It's time to let her go. Let her know you're always there and just a phone call/plane ride away.

What's the difference between 6 hours in a car driving and 6 hours in a plane to get to CA?

Money.

If you are worried about cost of ticket, you probably couldn't afford private or state schools cost in CA anyway.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My DD insist on attending college in California. We want her to stay within driving distance, 6 hours max. We have already told her the only way would be if she received scholarships. How do we deter her away from insisting on going to colleges out there? If you have a DC who attends college where a plane ride is needed, what are the advantages and disadvantages?

OP - issue with distance or money?

OP here, money isn't an issue, but I want to have an opportunity where if she gets home sick we could pick her up etc. She has other siblings and it would be nice for her to be home during some of her breaks. She's been away to over night camps etc. and currently takes metro with friends to the mall etc. We are allowing her to be a "teenager", but the logistics of attending college that far away is too cumbersome.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My DD insist on attending college in California. We want her to stay within driving distance, 6 hours max. We have already told her the only way would be if she received scholarships. How do we deter her away from insisting on going to colleges out there? If you have a DC who attends college where a plane ride is needed, what are the advantages and disadvantages?

OP - issue with distance or money?

OP here, money isn't an issue, but I want to have an opportunity where if she gets home sick we could pick her up etc. She has other siblings and it would be nice for her to be home during some of her breaks. She's been away to over night camps etc. and currently takes metro with friends to the mall etc. We are allowing her to be a "teenager", but the logistics of attending college that far away is too cumbersome.

this is all about you you you.

if she gets homesick she will figure it out. IF she gets homesick.
if she wants to see her sibs she will find a way to see them.
this is all about it being cumbersome for you and your fleeting ability to control!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My DD insist on attending college in California. We want her to stay within driving distance, 6 hours max. We have already told her the only way would be if she received scholarships. How do we deter her away from insisting on going to colleges out there? If you have a DC who attends college where a plane ride is needed, what are the advantages and disadvantages?

OP - issue with distance or money?

OP here, money isn't an issue, but I want to have an opportunity where if she gets home sick we could pick her up etc. She has other siblings and it would be nice for her to be home during some of her breaks. She's been away to over night camps etc. and currently takes metro with friends to the mall etc. We are allowing her to be a "teenager", but the logistics of attending college that far away is too cumbersome.

OP, re sickness, that's also part of the maturing process and there's Student Health that they go to. (and not bring it home to the siblings). But yes, nice to have her home during the breaks. Honestly, it may not be so logistically challenging, because things are more cut and dry--when a kid goes to school close, there's lots of "do we drive down there, do we meet half-way and leave a car in a parking lot for the weekend, should I keep my dentist or get a new one closer to me" etc. I attended college two hours away from home and there were always those negotiations, and when I went to law school on the opposite coast, it was cleaner and we appreciated the time together more (and it wasn't junked up with doctor's appointments and tire changes)