Depressed about dating

[Anonymous]

Late 40s. Single mom. Was in a good relationship last year till it ended. Been dating again the last few months. Got involved briefly with two guys...I knew neither was the right person but I did it anyway. Nice in many ways but left me feeling a bit hollow because I wasn't invested. Another guy I liked a lot and we kept seeing each other but it never really went anywhere physically. Met many others. Really trying. But feel like I'm still nowhere. Doesn't help that ex from last year (who I really liked) contacted me to check in. He's seeing someone else. Felt sad about that too. Leaving that alone right now. I'm ok on my own but would really like someone I really like to be around.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Late 40s. Single mom. Was in a good relationship last year till it ended. Been dating again the last few months. Got involved briefly with two guys...I knew neither was the right person but I did it anyway. Nice in many ways but left me feeling a bit hollow because I wasn't invested. Another guy I liked a lot and we kept seeing each other but it never really went anywhere physically. Met many others. Really trying. But feel like I'm still nowhere. Doesn't help that ex from last year (who I really liked) contacted me to check in. He's seeing someone else. Felt sad about that too. Leaving that alone right now. I'm ok on my own but would really like someone I really like to be around.

You're in your late 40s with a child. You should be happy for the opportunities you have.

[Anonymous]

OP: that is not very helpful.

[Anonymous]

I agree, the PP was not very helpful.

OP, I am 40 and have done a lot of dating in the past six or seven months. What I have learned is that it is very difficult to find someone you 'click' with. I have been on many dates but just can't seem to find that person. I guess the one thing that I am learning is that it is good to throw yourself out there and meet all kinds of people with no expectations. It's not easy at all but I keep doing it because I am hopeful that one day I will meet someone. My advice to you is to keep at it. . hang in there. Best of luck.

[Anonymous]

so you are meeting a lot of men and depressed. The average guy has it way more difficult meeting suitable partners.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:so you are meeting a lot of men and depressed. The average guy has it way more difficult meeting suitable partners.

Find this hard to believe. All the single men I know seem to get into relationships quite easily. Women seem to have a harder time, at least from my vantage.

[Anonymous]

OP, i think it's probably just going to take more time and luck to find another guy you like a lot. Just keep getting out there. And yes, be glad if you are meeting people - that means you're doing something right. I'm 42 and reasonably attractive and I haven't had a date in over a year because I just never meet anyone to date! (I would go online but it's such a numbers game and I don't have time or money for a lot of dates that go nowhere.)

[Anonymous]

Single guy here, early 30s and same 'problem.' Or it isn't a problem depending on how you look at it.

The truth is, there are many people who are in relationships who do not "click" with each other, but they remain with each other for different reasons. Lesson: only real friends "click" with each other, for everything else, just enjoy the companionship until you either fall in love or decide that things have run their course.

...and try social activities like a weekly/monthly Latin dance class, a book club, sports, etc. Doing something you love frequently, increases the odds of finding like-minded friends to "click" with....

[Anonymous]

If it helps, OP I am under 30 and a single Mom. Casually dated many men (probably 8) for over a period of a year before finally meeting one I clicked with. We've now only been dating 3 months so it is still very early.

Couple of things: 1) find happiness without a partner! Its important that you not cling to the first man you snag especially if he isn't right for your situation. Easy to say, but you need to be able to walk away. 2) online dating! Do it and it will help you get out more 3) commiserate with friends. I know so many wonderful single with and without kids women that have gone through the same experiences as me. We keep each other sane!

[Anonymous]

OP, you might have a click with a male DCUM poster. Good luck!

[Anonymous]

Really - you are a single mom, and you expect to have a dating life?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Really - you are a single mom, and you expect to have a dating life?

move along troll

[Anonymous]

Met get better with age, women don't. Notice who is usually listed as the "sexiest man alive" vs sexiest women in various magazines. The guys are always 40+, but not so for the women.

For better or worse, women are valued in society more on their looks vs men. Biologically, a 20-y-o woman is going to look better then a 40-y-o woman. On top of that, it's a lot easier for a 50-y-o man to date a 30-y-o woman than vice versa.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Met get better with age, women don't. Notice who is usually listed as the "sexiest man alive" vs sexiest women in various magazines. The guys are always 40+, but not so for the women.

For better or worse, women are valued in society more on their looks vs men. Biologically, a 20-y-o woman is going to look better then a 40-y-o woman. On top of that, it's a lot easier for a 50-y-o man to date a 30-y-o woman than vice versa.

I'm the younger single Mom from above. While I don't disagree with your premise, the dating scene is hard at any age and with any situation.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Single guy here, early 30s and same 'problem.' Or it isn't a problem depending on how you look at it.

The truth is, there are many people who are in relationships who do not "click" with each other, but they remain with each other for different reasons. Lesson: only real friends "click" with each other, for everything else, just enjoy the companionship until you either fall in love or decide that things have run their course.

...and try social activities like a weekly/monthly Latin dance class, a book club, sports, etc. Doing something you love frequently, increases the odds of finding like-minded friends to "click" with....

Sweets, I know you're trying to help, but you as a single guy in his early 30s, and OP as a single woman in her late 40s WITH A CHILD, are living on two different planets.

OP is most likely chuckling at the suggestion of weekly Latin dance classes. I know I would be.