Is a boring, but flexible job good for starting a family?

[Anonymous]

Hi all,

I have what I would describe as a very boring, but stable federal government job that allows me to work from home more often than not and work flexible hours. The problem is the work is not challenging, I'm a tiny cog in a giant system, and I just don't really care that much about what I'm doing. Also, I have an advanced degree, but don't feel like the job I am in really opens many doors within my field. Pay is okay (GS-13), but I have student loans.

That being said, I just turned 30 and DH and I are working on a family. We both were raised by SAHMs (not an option for me to stay home) and I really want to be able to chaperone field trips, care for my kids when they're home sick, make home cooked meals, and basically do all the things my mom was able to do for me. My mom says once I have kids, my career won't matter as much to me and I'm going to be very happy to have such a relaxed, flexible job. My grandma, however, owned her own business and said I shouldn't hold myself back.

Any working parents have insight about how important your career is to you once you have kids? I am scared I'm going to get mommy-tracked early in my career, but don't really want to take on a more stressful job that will make me miss out on my kids' lives. Any input on the whole lean in/lean out debate?

Thanks!

[Anonymous]

In short, yes.

[Anonymous]

The answer is obviously yes.

[Anonymous]

Lots of parents would kill for that schedule. If you decide to go the career route, you basically have to a) decide you are okay having a nanny raise them for the first 4-5 years, b) hold off on having kids until you are powerful/wealthy enough to reduce hours/control your schedule, or c) all of the above. At your age, you could try jumping into a more challenging job with the goal of kicking ass and getting a specific position that would allow you a fair amount of flexibility and then having kids in 5 years, but you need to have a specific plan and it may all fall apart.

If I were in your shoes, I would have kids now, enjoy the perks of your existing job during the early years and look fir ways to get professional development on the side (take classes, add certifications, etc.) with an eye to making a change down the line. If you are pretty stable financially, there is no reason why you shouldn't jump into the kid thing and worry about finding your dream job down the line when you have more idea what that is.

[Anonymous]

Yes, stay where you are. In addition to the flexibility and stability, it's a huge advantage to be a "known" performer during those early months when you are going to need a little slack or a little more flexibility while you figure things out. You don't want to be impressing a new boss and figuring out the daycare/pumping/whatever drill at the same time.

As PP said, you have time to find a new job and kick ass at it for a few years, but if you are ready for kids now then you have a good situation now.

Opportunities will find you eventually. A few years ago I told DH that my career was stalling out in my relaxed family-friendly government job and I needed to either go find a new job or decide we were having kids because this was the right job for kids. We had a baby and I got promoted during maternity leave, into a position I never thought would come open. All kinds of things can happen in the long career you have ahead of you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Lots of parents would kill for that schedule. If you decide to go the career route, you basically have to a) decide you are okay having a nanny raise them for the first 4-5 years, b) hold off on having kids until you are powerful/wealthy enough to reduce hours/control your schedule, or c) all of the above. At your age, you could try jumping into a more challenging job with the goal of kicking ass and getting a specific position that would allow you a fair amount of flexibility and then having kids in 5 years, but you need to have a specific plan and it may all fall apart.

If I were in your shoes, I would have kids now, enjoy the perks of your existing job during the early years and look fir ways to get professional development on the side (take classes, add certifications, etc.) with an eye to making a change down the line. If you are pretty stable financially, there is no reason why you shouldn't jump into the kid thing and worry about finding your dream job down the line when you have more idea what that is.

+1

-Signed the 30 year old mom of a 6 mo working a boring, but flexible job. It is been KEY to my transition back. Now that I'm falling into a rhythm I will explore more challenging positions, but during my pregnancy and transition back from leave, the flexibility and low stress has been god sent.

[Anonymous]

going to agree with the folks that are saying stay put while you have kids. boring and stable can be a good thing. i had a very good government gig with our first and went private sector when he was young. i certainly took the stability and flexibility for granted. like somebody else mentioned, being a known performer helps tremendously.

[Anonymous]

This is where I am OP - somewhat boring federal job but VERY family friendly and flexible. I long to go in a different direction with my career but I don't think it is feasible at the moment.

[Anonymous]

I could stand to be a bit more challenged in my job, but I also have amazing flexibility and PTO. There's no way I am going anywhere for awhile.

Some people refer to high salary as the "golden handcuffs," but I think flexibility has its own ties like that.

[Anonymous]

Always go for flexibility and low stress with kids. YOU NEED THE FLEXIBILITY. My flexibility in my government and sort of boring job is a gift these days. You don't want a supervisor crawling constantly up your a** when kid is sick, needs to go to the doctor, or when you want to volunteer in school one afternoon.

I agree, take opportunities on the side to stay engaged and stimulated mentally.

[Anonymous]

I'll just add another yes.

[Anonymous]

I took flexibility, eventually got my 14.

It is boring, I have a very hard time with the boredom. I suggest finding another way to channel that energy or it might drive you crazy.

I take graduate school classes here and there but not enough to get a degree. I have gotten some certifications. Now I am studying for my GRE so I can plan for a retirement career.

[Anonymous]

Sounds wonderful. Career can wait to grow, the window for having kids is shorter.

[Anonymous]

Stay. I'm a mom to a 2 year old and 3 month old. Can't work from home. Commute 1 hour each way. I hate it. I would do anything to have a job like yours. My husband is the one that primarily handles doctor's visits, sick days, etc. I love that he can do it, but I wish I could do it more. I would take a boring, stable job with flexibility in a heartbeat.

Good luck to you and your husband on starting a family.

[Anonymous]

This is a tougher question that PPs are letting on, but the thing is that you won't know whether it's best for you until after you have kids...

I am in the same position - great Fed job with lots of flexibility and a wonderful boss, but the work is boring and not challenging. When it was time for me to start a family, I decided to stay put because I knew my job would be great for being a mom. It has been, in every way. But I am still bored and looking for new challenges. Now that I pay through the nose for childcare, it is really important to me that the hours I am away from my kids add up to something. So I am looking to expand my career. But friends in the same position feel as your mother does - that they don't care about their careers now that they have kids and are grateful for the flexible job.

Short answer - stay where you are and see how you feel after you have a baby.