What to do w/advanced 1st grader who is starting to dislike school?
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Anonymous
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There are other threads that kind of get at my questions, but I would like some fresh perspectives from MCPS parents. In short, my questions are: What do you do with a child who seems gifted but doesn't seem to be identified as such in school? And how do I support my child, who is really academically motivated and well behaved, in a classroom where it seems like the poorly behaved kids are getting most of the teacher's attention?
Friends (including some who are teachers) are constantly marveling at what my 6-year-old daughter is reading (i.e., sixth-grade level chapter books), stories she's written, and the way she can describe how complex things work. People often ask me what I'm doing to make sure she is challenged in school. The honest and apparently insufficient answer is: nothing. She had a great year in K, with an excellent teacher who differentiated instruction and gave my daughter lots of classroom responsibilities that she enjoyed. But 1st grade isn't going as well, and she's coming home really discouraged. It seems like she is often left to her own devices, which makes sense because she doesn't need much guidance, but she's also getting bored. Her report card had all Ps except an I in math, which I don't understand because at home she easily demonstrates all the first grade math skills described in the curriculum 2.0 booklet. Do I just roll with this, keep feeding her interests at home, and chalk it up to every year can't be a great year? Or should I be doing something more? We have a parent-teacher conference in a month...I could reach out to the teacher sooner, but I just don't know what to ask. |
Anonymous
| Schools are reluctant to move kids too quickly - no matter how smart your daughter is. Moreover, every school is different. Many schools have advanced readers so they may not be impressed with what she's reading. The big issue here is her engagement in school. I'd say start with the school - it never worked for me but heck, maybe your school is better. If that fails get her tested. The school can't ignore the results assuming they are off the charts. |
Anonymous
| If I were you, I would ask the teacher for a meeting. At the meeting, you would say, "My daughter comes home and tells me that she's bored and discouraged at school. For example, the other day, she said that [give example]. Or [give another example]. Also, I was surprised about the I on her interim report in math, because at home she can do the math. Do you have any insights that could help me help my daughter?" |
Anonymous
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^^ I like this but I'd say "how WE can help her." The teacher has some responsibility here.
OP, will you keep us posted? I alsohave a bright student who is also starting to get discouraged because the class is way too easy for her. |
Anonymous
| just a tip - don't say bored! Say not engaged or something like that. |
Anonymous
| Also keep in mind that the school will not let her progress in reading until her writing is on an equal level. This hold many good readers back in ES |
Anonymous
Agreed, but the idea is to not make the teacher defensive right off the bat. I.e., tact, versus "My daughter hates school, what are you going to do about it?". A good teacher should offer some suggestions about things the teacher should do, without prompting from the OP, but if the teacher doesn't, then the OP should wait to ask what the teacher could do until the teacher has offered some suggestions about what the OP could do, and the OP has agreed to do them or at least consider them. |
Anonymous
And they shouldn't. |
Anonymous
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I was just talking to a friend whose son is in 2nd and he STILL hasn't learned anything in school in math and reading beyond what he already knew from pre-K.
My point with this bad news is that even if you get the teacher this year to offer some more challenging work you'll probably continue to have this problem for a few more years and it's possible the next teacher may not be so accommodating. So that's a long way of saying I'd start with your daughter and finding ways to motivate her at home or think of more creative things to do in school. Most schools are reluctant to identify even the most advanced kids as "gifted" at that age. I would supplement at home and try as hard as possible to talk up all the positive, fun parts of school like science or whatever subject she might actually enjoy. It stinks for kids that are that advanced that that math and reading and writing take up so much time, but it's probably still only half the day right? Our own (advanced) DD really looks forward to the specials and has had no complaints about school so far and even though she has gotten in trouble a few times for ignoring worksheets that are just plain silly for her (i.e. counting -- this is a gal who could do fractions at age 5) we have tried to teach her that rules are rules and she must must do what the teacher asks no matter what she thinks of the work. We're thinking of it as a way to teach her patience, discipline and respect. |
Anonymous
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Public schools is to educate the masses. High performing kids have it even worse since "No Child Left Behind" mandate since the emphasis is on getting the lower performing students up to grade level, not advancing students. I am in the same boat with a well behaved, academically advanced first grade boy who is basically either ignored or paired up with kids who need more help. When I spoke to his teacher she made it quite clear that her priority is getting all the kids reading, so my kid who reads at an upper elementary school level is going to sit there waiting for the others to catch up. I asked if he could read a book instead of doing simple worksheets but she said that it would be too disruptive.
So I am looking into either homeschooling or sending him to a progressive private school where he would get a chance to play more and do projects. |
Anonymous
I know this is the view du jour, but why? I have a kid who can read chapter books, and clearly comprehends them. She can answer questions about what's happened, and she asks good, probing questions about characters' motivations, etc. But she certainly can't write at the level of a chapter book, not without a lot of labor and time anyway. Why shouldn't she be allowed to go with her higher level reading and comprehension ability while working on writing at a lower level? |
Anonymous
| Since her reading is already way ahead why not focus on writing instead? You are hoping for her to read HS level of reading by second grade? This s a good question for the teacher. Is writing level holding back her reading level. What can I focus on her with writing? |
Anonymous
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This is hard. I never was successful in getting what I would consider appropriate work in K-3, especially in math. I tried a few times and ended up giving up. My child was not complaining and just happy to try to finish the work quickly and help classmates. He is at the HGC now.
A few things I learned though. Part of the problem is that the teacher may not even realize how advanced your daughter is because there has been no way to for her to show it. Other than MAP-P the school itself has no data points. Perhaps outside testing would help, but I am really not sure that is worth the expense. I would ask for a quick chat with the teacher to explain how your daughter is discouraged and get the teacher's perspective. And by all means encourage your daughter to keep reading at home and doing extra math work if she is interested. Good luck. |
Anonymous
We already know her writing level is holding back her reading level -- the teacher told us that. And that her writing level is above "expected" for her age, so it's not like there's a problem with writing. She's just average at writing at this point and way ahead of average in reading/comprehension. We are focusing on writing, but the problem with holding back her reading is that she isn't interested in those simple books. (Think how you would feel if someone told you you could only read books for 5-year-olds. C'mon. Boring.) So it's making her *less interested in reading*, which sucks. Of course at home at night she reads what she wants, but now she says she "hates to read in school". Great. I don't care if she's reading at high school level by the end of elementary or not. I don't think that's a bad thing if that's where her interests and aptitudes take her. |
Anonymous
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We homeschooled at home for 30-45min after school and then sent her to private at 3rd grade. Best decision we ever made. Start looking into the big name schools. Lots of kids who are smart and enjoy the challenge. Financial aid is available. We get 2/3 paid for.
The other option is Feyman or a Montessori school. Not as much financial aid available but it can't hurt to check out. |