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Does the "baby urge" ever go away?
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Anonymous
| My husband does not want any more children, I am 98% in agreement. But, when I see families with more children than we have I have such an urge to have one more. Does this urge go away when your family is complete or is it something that is always there? |
Anonymous
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It does. When my youngest was two, I really wanted another child, but I got a new puppy instead. Here we are two years later, and when I see a family with a baby, or with more children than I have, I no longer have the longing for another.
I have to say that now when I look at babies, I am just so relieved that they are not mine. I am so over the sleepless nights, the breastfeeding, diaper bags, blow out poops, crying and all the rest of the baby stage. |
Anonymous
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I miss the cute and fun parts of having a baby, but I will not easily forget how rough the first several months were. I am also not looking forward to the pre-teen and teenage years, even though these are many years away. My brother just had a new baby so I am fine playing with him but relieved to be able to give him back! But, my reasons shouldn't have a bearing on what your decision is...this is truly a personal thing. My cousin, who has grown kids STILL jokes about wanting another baby! She is almost 50. So, for some the urge doesn't go away. A good friend of mine has a pre-teen son who is getting into a lot of trouble and now his younger sister is starting to imitate him. She thought she was pregnant not too long ago and she was so upset to have to go through the rough times she has gone through with her other 2 again. She found out it was a false alarm and her husband just got a vasectomy.
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Anonymous
| i hope it goes away...or i am in trouble! |
Anonymous
| It hasn't yet, and my youngest is already 12 months old! |
Anonymous
Ha - my sentiments exactly. I just say (to myself), "Phew!" |
Anonymous
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No, not for me.
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Anonymous
| Remember there may be grandchildren one day -- to me, that seems the ideal. All that love, all that chub, all that joy, and you get to control the level of work. |
Anonymous
| My youngest is 5 1/2 - and I feel like the feeling is very slowly going away. I realized at one point that I really don't want any more kids - I just miss my babies being babies. It's more of a nostalgia for me. |
Anonymous
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OP - what is it about seeing other families with more children that makes you pine for more yourself? Is it a "baby"-thing, is it the commraderie of a functional family unit, or what?
Do you think having another child/baby will solve that missing void? Sometimes the grass isn't always greener and sometimes things aren't as they appear. So long as you and your family are happy, healthy, and functioning well, why ask for more? |
Anonymous
| OP, I am asking myself this every day. I am exhausted when I think of having a third, but the urge is STRONG. |
Anonymous
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OP here, I think that the urge is strong for me because we only have one child. In so many ways I am really happy with this. I have no desire to go back to the baby stage with diapers and mess. We love the life we live with only one - we are able to devote lots of attention to him. We travel often and sometimes far away and always bring him. Our house and car are the perfect size and we do not worry about paying for college, etc.
That said these things can all be overcome with more than one. There are times when I wonder if I am making a decision that I will regret down the line. Of course I also worry that by not giving him a sibling I am depriving him of something awful. |
Anonymous
| sometimes i feel that way when i don't have enough going on for myself...when i start going out with girlfriends,working on something i'm interested in i feel so happy with the way my life is right NOW and don't want anymore children. though i love the one i have more than anything! |
Anonymous
| OP again, I reviewed my message and it is a bit unclear at the end. I mean to say that I worry that by not giving him a sibling I am doing something awful - depriving him of something that he should have. |
Anonymous
| I have one child and the baby urge hit me occasionally when she was about two. It completely went away when she was totally potty trained, we started being able to do fun activities, and life returned to a balance of baby time and married time. For me, the urge to have a baby was completely outweighed by wanting to balance living in child world and living in grownup world. We have all of the joys of parenthood, but without returning to the sexless, exhausted, grinding, and often mind-numbing baby phase. |