Does the "baby urge" ever go away?

[Anonymous]

I am fighting this urge now. We have two kids-a three year old and a little little one but I just love the idea of having three kids. I love the noise and the fun. I was one of three and we all had a great time and still do. I fear that two is just not enough siblings. I also have thoughts about what is something happened to one and then there was only one or even none. I realize this is not rational but it's something I ponder. I also think that maybe two is perfect because it's easy to travel with two and also think a third would be tough for hubby. In any event, I too am hoping this feeling will pass.

[Anonymous]

apparently not for the octuplet mom

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here, I think that the urge is strong for me because we only have one child. In so many ways I am really happy with this. I have no desire to go back to the baby stage with diapers and mess. We love the life we live with only one - we are able to devote lots of attention to him. We travel often and sometimes far away and always bring him. Our house and car are the perfect size and we do not worry about paying for college, etc.

That said these things can all be overcome with more than one. There are times when I wonder if I am making a decision that I will regret down the line. Of course I also worry that by not giving him a sibling I am depriving him of something awful.

Society puts a lot pressure on families to have children and to have more than one. They also put pressure on you to stop having kids once you have 3. So basically, to be considered normal, according to societies standards, you should have 2-3 kids. You can't deviate from this otherwise something is wrong with you and/or your kid(s).


Having a baby because you miss having a little baby will kick you in the butt when that precious darling grows up and starts causing trouble as a teenager. It could happen!
Having a baby because you think your child needs a sibling will kick you in the butt when the siblings grow up and hate each other. It could happen!
Having a baby so your child isn't stuck taking care of you when you are old will kick you in the butt when none or only one of them steps up to help.
Having a baby so your child won't be lonely will kick you in the butt when they both come to you and tellyou they are bored.

I am not saying all the above will happen, but they could. Having one child is the fastest growing population of families today so hopefully the stigma will go away. I also went thru and still feel the guilt of having one child, but I think I am an awesome parent to one. I don't think I'd be an awesome parent to two. I am not close to my siblings and I have had bouts of loneliness that siblings didn't cure. My parents have planned for their old age so we won't be burdened and we are making sure to do the same for our child. We do playdates all the time and even though there are times i wish she had the always available playmate, my mom reminds me that when we were small, we didn't want to play with each other, we wanted to play with her!

I hope that one day, we will all find peace with the families we have. I hope I do!!!

[Anonymous]

My urge to have another didn't go away until we had our third. Now I can happily say "I am done"! And I love having three btw.

[Anonymous]

I was where you are last week, then I got the stomach flu. Sick all day, caring for 2 kids (ages 3 and 1) trying to write a report for work on the side, didn't have the physical strenght to carry them up the stairs...and I remembered unfortuantely that this was how I spend 9 months while pregnant, and it would just be too much at this point...I literally looked up, and said "OK, message recievied" at whatever being is looking down (as if he or she has that kind of time, i know...but the thought did go through my head)....so, yup....it's finally been laid to rest for me, and off I go to hug the 2 miracles I have already!!!

[Anonymous]

I have 5 and still many days think "one more"...which will not be happening. I have friends who are done, done, done and said they just knew. I don't think I will ever get that feeling.

[Anonymous]

do not have a another child just so your first will have a sibling. siblings can be vastly overrated...only have another because you AND your husband want a larger family because you enjoying raising children. I can not stress this enough. i am an only child( and knew many only children as a child) we are all well adjusted adults who are happy. your only child will be fine, your marriage however will not if your husband isn't 100% on board about having another one...

[Anonymous]

Borrow my baby for a weekend. Please?

The urge will dissipate. Promise.

[Anonymous]

Go read the question from second time mom thread. That will put it out of your mind!

[Anonymous]

Anytime I think I might want another baby, I remember that the baby will turn into a toddler all too quickly. I found 18 mos to 3 y.o. to be much harder than the newborn - 12 mos phase. I remember that I carry a purse again and not a diaper bag. I sleep through the night every night. My house is almost clean. Since the thought of a baby does not make me want to ditch any of these newfound milestones, my baby urge is gone.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Anytime I think I might want another baby, I remember that the baby will turn into a toddler all too quickly. I found 18 mos to 3 y.o. to be much harder than the newborn - 12 mos phase. I remember that I carry a purse again and not a diaper bag. I sleep through the night every night. My house is almost clean. Since the thought of a baby does not make me want to ditch any of these newfound milestones, my baby urge is gone.

Yes! My issue is I want a BABY, not another person in my house. Maybe a puppy would do the trick...