Wwyd - she keeps pushing relationship, but I cut her off a while ago
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Anonymous
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Not sure what to do. Sister recently sent presents for my baby.
• Returning them would be a huge slap in the face. Not worth it. • thank you card would be weird & stilted. • sending gifts back for her dc would encourage the relationship. Right? • Other options? The story is that she's always been insecure, manipulative, immature, mean spirited, and our personalities just don't go well together at all. I have tried for years and years to build some relationship between us, but she always f'ks it up. She's abusive to animals and borderline negligent to her dc. In the past year, she purposely frightened my dc, who was an infant at the time. It sounds dumb, but she caused dc hours of crying and an awful day after we put in a huge effort to see her. Since then, I just gave up on the relationship. Didn't say anything, didn't make a scene, just stopped picking up. She periodically keeps at it though like sending messages or mailing little things. She also has a dc. Both kids are too young to have any clue about "presents" from people, remember each other, etc. Wwyd? |
Anonymous
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Send a thank you note.
You both sound like drama questions. |
Anonymous
Drama questions, oh no! |
Anonymous
| Agreed. Send a nice, brief thank you card. No further drama needed. |
Anonymous
| Don't acknowledge it and donate the gifts. |
Anonymous
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Just ignore it all together. If you ignore phone calls or emails, just ignore the gift as well.
Life is too short to spend contemplating responses to people you don't want in your life. Let it go. Donate the gifts or use them as you wish but you are not obligated to respond. |
Anonymous
| Abusive to animals? Did she step on an ant, and now you want her out of your life? |
Anonymous
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I think I would take the direct approach. First, thank her for the gifts, because that's the polite thing to do.
Then, the caring thing to do would be to tell her how you feel about your relationship with her and how her actions affect your desire to have a relationship with her. You are her sister. It may make her so mad she won't talk to you again, but that's what you want, right? Or, it could make her actually think about her actions. |
Anonymous
This. I am a big believer in thank you notes, usually, but I think in this case it would just reinforce her sending gifts. |
Anonymous
| God, some of you people are so "form over function" it's insane. Ignore the damn gifts. This does not require "proper etiquette" when booting someone from your life. No thank you, no encouragement, no nothing. |
Anonymous
| Wow, some people are being really rude. Her sister sounds like a mess and it must have been difficult to cut her off. I would just ignore the gifts and continue to not respond. |
Anonymous
Ok, so she screwed up. Maybe she's learned being a mother. Make it about the kids, who should be able to get to know each other. Nice would be to send a birthday and holiday gift. And, yes, you send a thank you card. |
Anonymous
| You pick out a 'thank you' card. You sign it. It's not that hard. |
Anonymous
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Are you going to run into your sister at your parents' house? At Christmas celebrations? I would send a thank you note that simply says "Thank you for the gifts."
Not speaking at all - as in, not saying hi, ignoring gifts, etc - just punishes the rest of the family who can no longer do joint celebrations without crazy awkwardness. If you can cut off your relationship with your sister and just keep it to polite, but sterile, greetings then you'll be doing the rest of the family you do still love a huge favor. -Relative who had nothing to do with others' fall out with each other but now has split holidays & double venues to attend |