Sleep Issues in 8 year old son (previously GREAT and heavy sleeper) - advice please?

[Anonymous]

For the last three weeks my 8 year old son has had trouble sleeping. And it's turning into a bad cycle where he worries about not sleeping and therefore, misses more sleep. We're trying to get a handle on it by trying to figure out if there are triggers:
-school stress (maybe),
-friend stress (don't think so),
-possible bullying (trying not to be blind to this, but I genuinely don't think so),
-bad thoughts (he and school friends have begun telling "scary" stories at recess--he has told them to me and they are definitely mild, campfire-type stories, but then again, it could be scaring him)
-the result of something normal (growing spurts, changes in hormones, etc.--he's only 8, but very big for his age)

I have a call into his doctor, but curious if anyone else has experienced sleep issues with this age child--especially in boys. Prior to this he was such a great sleeper. He'd fall asleep within 10 minutes, would stay asleep all night and wasn't easily awakened.

Any good books I should read? Any tips (does advising "counting sheep" help?)? Thanks for reading.

[Anonymous]

Does he still have a good bedtime routine. Good meaning - does consistent things to help get him mentally prepared to sleep?

Have you tried laying down in his room at night with him, turn out the light and see if there are sounds that are new that would be bothersome. I swear, the one night I was in my son's room and heard my husband using the salad spinner and I almost jumped it was so loud. Now I know why my son doesn't fall asleep until after my husband eats his salad. Maybe something new is going on.

What do you talk about before bedtime. If you can, stay away from talk about the day which might bring up stress. Instead focus on happy things. Unless you think talking about the day will get his mind off of worrying about not falling asleep.

When my son is really keyed up, I admit it, one of us will lay down on his floor for awhile. Knowing we are there helps him relax and fall asleep.

[Anonymous]

Thanks so much for the thoughtful response, PP. Yes, I have been laying down with him for a little while...I'll stay there for 15-20 minutes, I'll think he's asleep and then I'll quietly leave. Then 5 minutes later, I hear, "Mom."

He has always used a fan in his room for white noise, and that's still going...no weird rattles or anything, but sound is another good suggestion.

I try very hard not to let my own building anxiety show, but it's hard when I get called back in after I thought we were successful.

Your idea about NOT talking too much about the day is a good one. Thanks so much. My gut tells me that this is mainly related to stress.

[Anonymous]

My dd has anxiety and often the more we cater to her worries at night, the more the anxiety grows. For example, she can have great bedtimes for months, she has one night of something that scared her--we check on her and assure her and the next night it's the same and the next it's the same. Not until we stop the going back in or lying with her does she get better at going to bed (and her anxiety in general disappears). I would tell him lovingly and warmly that you know he can fall asleep on his own without you lying there. Give him some "tools" like a night light, a simple meditation, a mantra (I'm calm I'm happy), and tell him you'll see him in the morning. Trust him and he will be
More likely to trust himself.

[Anonymous]

+1 on the last pp

Plus try to physically tire him: run, swim, dance party,...

[Anonymous]

when my son has trouble sleeping - I try very hard not to project my own anxiety - I just usually say....."don't worry, some nights it takes longer than others....you will fall asleep when your body is ready"

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My dd has anxiety and often the more we cater to her worries at night, the more the anxiety grows. For example, she can have great bedtimes for months, she has one night of something that scared her--we check on her and assure her and the next night it's the same and the next it's the same. Not until we stop the going back in or lying with her does she get better at going to bed (and her anxiety in general disappears). I would tell him lovingly and warmly that you know he can fall asleep on his own without you lying there. Give him some "tools" like a night light, a simple meditation, a mantra (I'm calm I'm happy), and tell him you'll see him in the morning. Trust him and he will be
More likely to trust himself.

Me again. We use essential oils at home and sometimes I have her smell lavender or the other ones that are supposed to be good for sleep and I tell her that it will help her sleep and it will take away her bad dreams and she believes me. Placebo effect probably, but it works!

[Anonymous]

Thank you all for the thoughtful and useful ideas. He's sleeping soundly!