How Do I Know When It's Time?
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Anonymous
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My dog is terminal. We have fought the inevitable over the last year with surgery and meds but each episode that he has sets him back again. After the most recent one in August, he just hasn't been the same. He now bumps into everything and falls all of the time. Every time he tries to egg up, his legs fail him. It's torture to watch. And he paces more and has more trouble settling than usual, although when he does settle, he sleeps peacefully. He still loves to eat and wags his tail when you pet him but otherwise, I worry that he has a very low quality of life. I always imagined that when I would have to make this wrenching decision that it would be easier because I would know he's suffering and it would be cruel to keep him around. But, I'm not sure we're there yet but I'm afraid I'm not being objective. To an outside observer who didn't love him, the highs say he doesn't seem to have any quality left. Anyway, without knowing the specifics I'm sure it's impossible for people t guide me one way or he other. Just looking for when you might have known that it was time.
I just have a hard time imagining feeding him breakfast and then taking him to the vet and putting him to sleep... Thanks. |
Anonymous
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I've failed every one of my dogs and cats on this very issue. I'm not proud of this fact, in fact, hate that I'm admitting to it.
You're not alone, that's all I wanted to say  and so sorry that you're facing losing a wonderful family member.
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Anonymous
| I'm facing the same decision with my sweet wonderful cat. I honestly have no idea. But it won't be today. |
Anonymous
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It's never easy. You want to enjoy your pet as long as possible without them being miserable.
My cat (who's hobby was eating) got mouth cancer last year. I knew it was time when it made me cry watching her trying to do what she loved. She could feel the tumor in the back of her throat and she would often paw at her face while eating, trying to remove it. One day she used both paws in frustration and fell over. I made the euthanasia appointment later that day. |
Anonymous
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I'm so sorry to you, PP and OP.
We were fortunate that our old guy went from having trouble, to being completely paralyzed. He was still comfortable (no pain, still eating and drinking, just could not stand at all), so we gave him two more days with us. Some might think that cruel, but he had every food he ever loved, was clean (we got incontinence pads for his bed), warm, and dry, and we sat with him 24/7 to say goodbye. And then it was time. That being said, he was always a tough old guy and the end made it very bittersweet. And it was okay. OP, you know your dog. To me, it doesn't sound time yet, both to you and him. It's okay. A dogs quality of life is not the same as a humans perspective of one. If he is pain free, clean, fed, loved, and given dignity, he will be happy until you need to make the decision. You will know. I know that sounds weird, but you will. |
Anonymous
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We had a terminal kitty and i really needed help and guidance from our vet. It was a much easier decision with our first cat, whose pain and suffering made the decision very straightforward.
But our sweet girl had declined slowly and it was hard to step back and see the big picture. We did make the decision when her QOL was clearly truly awful. She's adjusted with grace to the many indignities of old age and long term terminal illness, but it was too much for us when our fastidious kitty couldn't make it to the litter box even one room away. I'd wanted her to be able to go on her own timeline, but meds were likely preventing that, but withdrawing meds would only lead to suffering. We talked it through with our vet who agreed it was time. It was the right decision, but it wasn't an easy one. I'm sorry -- it's a really rough time. |
Anonymous
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When your pet isn't able to do what it loves, and there's no realistic expectation of improvement, it's time. Don't drag it out and prolong their discomfort/suffering to try to shield yourself from the pain of it. It's going to hurt either way. Sometimes love is about doing what's best for someone else even if it sucks for you. Putting a pet down is one of those things.
I'm sorry, OP. I've said many goodbyes to furry friends over the years, and it's never easy. 
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Anonymous
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Ugh, I am so sorry. Our kitty went into heart failure last December and for a day or two we thought he might be ok. He was still fighting and then he stopped eating, it was right before Christmas. I basically fed him by a syringe to keep him alive through Christmas day for our child. That cat stayed loving to the end.
The day after Christmas he had a follow up appointment (and had been to the vet about 3 times before that) and the vet told us he was no longer fighting and the best thing to do was put him to sleep. It was really rough but when it was over, I felt sad but ok because I knew he was at peace. He was about 15 years old and I had him for 12 years (rescue cat). I knew that he had a great life and that he knew he was loved. You will know when the time comes, they let you know. I truly believe he held on so that he would not die before Christmas. This summer we got a rescue dog. We love her so much but I do miss our kitty. |
Anonymous
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I'm so sorry, OP. We had to put a dog down several years ago, and holding his paw while the drugs kicked in was one of the saddest and hardest things I have ever done.
When the time comes, know that there are vets who will come to your house to do it, so your dog can pass in the comfort of his home instead of the vet's office, if that is something you are interested in. And, check out this article (but not at work, because you will cry) where this family gave their dog an amazing last day. Doing something similar might make you feel better about the decision you have to make. http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2014/07/14/dog-last-day-robyn-arouty_n_5585074.html |
Anonymous
| Please don't put him down. He is eating and wagging his tail means he is still doing fine but is only feeling weak. |
Anonymous
| I've been in the same situation and don't have easy answers. All I can advise is to trust your intuition. |
Anonymous
No. It doesn't. My dog was exactly as OP's dog was only two weeks ago. We hesitated even though we knew it was time and I regret that so much. On her last night my dog had the most horrible violent seizure you can imagine and a horrible day that came before and she died painfully. If your dog is going downhill don't wait till he or she hits bottom. The OP's dog symptoms are saying it is time. It's not easy but it's the right time |
Anonymous
| OP here. Thanks for all the really lovely responses. I feel for everyone who has to go through this wrenching time. Unfortunately, we did have to let our dog go today. He had another very unexpected episode today after a bad night last night. I think it was his way of telling me it was time to go. It was awful. I feel empty. I stayed with him the whole time and told him how much I loved him and stroked his beautiful fur. And then he was gone. And my heart is broken. But I truly know deep down that he's not suffering anymore. For those of you still grappling with such a decision, I am so sorry and I hope you eventually find peach as well. |
Anonymous
OP, I'm so sorry for your loss. |
Anonymous
| Op, I'm so sorry. My heart hurts for you. (Hugs) |