She cheated caught and still lying

[Anonymous]

I need some advice
I found out lately that my DW had an affair, I actually have texts of her glorifying his performance, I confronted her about it but she continues to say that she didn't sleep with the guy and it is not even an affair and that she will disconnect with him. The texts she says were just her speaking with her friend and that she was just telling her stories, I don't know what to do. I want to believe her but I don't, and I don't know if that even matter if she did sleep with him or not.

[Anonymous]

Um, even if she were making it up, I would find it very upsetting that she was lying to her friends about cheating on me.

But whether she had an affair or not (and I'm fairly sure she did), it sounds like your trust in her is broken. Do you want to save the marriage? If so, tell her you're calling either a marriage counselor or a divorce attorney, and she can choose which one.* If you don't want to save it, skip this step and just call an attorney.

* Even if she says counselor, call the attorney anyway. Make sure you know how to protect yourself so she doesn't play along at counseling and then blindside you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Um, even if she were making it up, I would find it very upsetting that she was lying to her friends about cheating on me.

But whether she had an affair or not (and I'm fairly sure she did), it sounds like your trust in her is broken. Do you want to save the marriage? If so, tell her you're calling either a marriage counselor or a divorce attorney, and she can choose which one.* If you don't want to save it, skip this step and just call an attorney.

* Even if she says counselor, call the attorney anyway. Make sure you know how to protect yourself so she doesn't play along at counseling and then blindside you.

Great advice. Make sure to have copies of all recent bank statements, financials, assets, etc. to make sure you protect your fair share.

[Anonymous]

That sounds like a 6-year old's alibi.
She cheated. She's caught. The end.
Handle it accordingly or pretend you can save the marriage, but yea, she cheated.

[Anonymous]

Face it OP. Your marriage is toast.

I am a woman and as a woman it would be a very rare thing for me to actually lie to my friend + say I had an affair w/someone when I actually didn't.

Women do not tend to make stuff like that up to impress other women. We just don't. And yes, we do like to kiss & tell so I believe what she texted about his performance.

So please do not be naive about this. Let her know in in uncertain terms are you an idiot + that you know for sure what the deal is.

Now it is up to you whether or not you can spend the rest of your life w/a liar and a cheater.

It is your call.

I couldn't personally, but I do not know the dynamics of your marriage and all.

Whatever you choose to do, I am sorry for your pain and I sincerely wish you well.

[Anonymous]

*no

[Anonymous]

Dude, get out. It is way different when a woman cheats. Kids?

[Anonymous]

Man up and file for divorce.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Man up and file for divorce.

It might not be that easy for some men to just end it. Like myself at one point, the OP is in the denial stage and really wants to give her the benefit of the doubt.

Question for the OP is, are you comfortable living with someone who brags/fantacizes to her girlfriend about another man's sexual performance and not yours? It is demoralizing, emasculating and embarrassing, but certainly you deserve better!

[Anonymous]

OP, what did you do that she would cheat on you? Were you there for her emotionally? Were you meeting her needs? Women just don't up and cheat for no reason. They area not like men who will f**k anything with two legs, breasts and a vagina if they can.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Man up and file for divorce.

It might not be that easy for some men to just end it. Like myself at one point, the OP is in the denial stage and really wants to give her the benefit of the doubt.

Question for the OP is, are you comfortable living with someone who brags/fantacizes to her girlfriend about another man's sexual performance and not yours? It is demoralizing, emasculating and embarrassing, but certainly you deserve better!

A question for you (I'm not the OP). When you were in the denial phase, could anyone have said anything to help you see your DW for what she was? I'm so tired of seeing a loved one hurt by the liar he's married to, while others get blamed.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, what did you do that she would cheat on you? Were you there for her emotionally? Were you meeting her needs? Women just don't up and cheat for no reason. They area not like men who will f**k anything with two legs, breasts and a vagina if they can.

STFU. Whatever OP's behavior, he did not cause his wife to cheat. She did that on her own.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, what did you do that she would cheat on you? Were you there for her emotionally? Were you meeting her needs? Women just don't up and cheat for no reason. They area not like men who will f**k anything with two legs, breasts and a vagina if they can.

This is unmitigated bullish!t. You must be a cheater, because only cheaters think that they cannot possibly be responsible for their own bad actions. News flash - cheaters have deep-seated character flaws that are their own, and they cannot blame others for their own reprehensible actions.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, what did you do that she would cheat on you? Were you there for her emotionally? Were you meeting her needs? Women just don't up and cheat for no reason. They area not like men who will f**k anything with two legs, breasts and a vagina if they can.

This is unmitigated bullish!t. You must be a cheater, because only cheaters think that they cannot possibly be responsible for their own bad actions. News flash - cheaters have deep-seated character flaws that are their own, and they cannot blame others for their own reprehensible actions.

That's not true. I would never have cheated on my wife if she had bigger cans, a better body, cooked, and was 15 yrs younger.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, what did you do that she would cheat on you? Were you there for her emotionally? Were you meeting her needs? Women just don't up and cheat for no reason. They area not like men who will f**k anything with two legs, breasts and a vagina if they can.

I had read this response again to ensure I was reading it right. Some people