Kindergarten DD doesn't pee all day at school

[Anonymous]

DD just started K this week. She is very anxious about it. For the past two days, she hasn't peed at all while she is there. She goes before she leaves and when she gets home. I am encouraging her to drink more during lunch. She isn't eating much either. Or sleeping much for that matter! Any advice?

[Anonymous]

OP, has she ever been in a classroom environment before (i.e., pre-school, daycare, etc.)? I would talk to her teacher or IA and ask if they can remind DD to go to the bathroom.

[Anonymous]

Some kids can hold it for a long time. Is it really a big deal if she doesn't? Is she complaining of thirst or pee issues?

[Anonymous]

OP, I can relate! My DD is also trying to hold it in all day, and, twice in a row, we barely made it to the bathroom at home. I'd also welcome any advice on the subject.

[Anonymous]

As long as she is uncomfortable peeing at school, I wouldn't encourage her to drink more -- that could just lead to an accident, which would be pretty embarrassing in K (more so than in PK).

Make sure she goes before she leaves, make sure she hydrates when she gets home, and focus on making her comfortable with school in general.

Also, find out if there's something specific that scares her about the bathroom -- I remember when I was in PK I saw a spider in the corner of the bathroom and tried not to use the bathroom for a couple weeks. (Why I didn't just get a teacher to clean out the web, I don't know. I was 4.)

[Anonymous]

Sometimes kids forget if they've gone. It is a long day, after all.

If you're concerned, I think it would be OK to email the teacher and see if the aide can help remind her, as pp suggested. It is only K and the teachers and aides are there to help the kids adjust.

[Anonymous]

My friend's kid did this last year when he started K! I was pretty impressed that he could hold it that long.

As long as she's not having accidents, I'd say it's not a big deal.

My DS does go, but he does complain that it never seems to be the 'right time'. Like, he doesn't want to go during rug time. And, when they are at their desks doing work, he used to complain that he wanted to get his work done!

It can be tough. The pace in K is pretty quick and if she's the least bit conscientous (SP??), it's very likely that she's afraid of missing something!

[Anonymous]

My DD never did either. She went before school, and it was always the first thing done right after school.

[Anonymous]

Sometimes if the teacher approaches the child (rather than wait for the other way around), the child begins to feel more comfortable.

E.g.,

"Larla, I want to let you know that I am hear to help you if you need to get to the bathroom. I'll take you there in the morning and the afternoon. If you need to go more, just come to me and you can tell me, okay? That's my job, and I'm so happy to help you out with anything you need."

[Anonymous]

I rarely used the bathroom at school. Sure wish I could hold it that long now!

[Anonymous]

I never used the bathrooms in school. They seemed dirty to me. I raced home every day to pee.

[Anonymous]

I talked to dd's K teacher about this because dd told me there wasn't time to go to the bathroom. K teacher offered to reiterate to the class the specific times when it was totally ok for the kids to pee. This was before recess (they took everyone then), during stations and during snack time. Maybe your child needs to know when it is totally ok versus when it is a disruption (not as ok). Because of course it's always ok to go if you have to.

[Anonymous]

A lot of kids do this, OP, mostly because there's so much going on and they forget. A minority have other issues such as not wanting to use a strange bathroom.

My 4th grader still doesn't think of using the bathroom in school, unless he stays past 3pm for an extra activity and then he really has to go.

Don't stress about it, it will increase her anxiety. Just remind her every morning that she can go at lunchtime. Some K classrooms even have their own bathroom, to make it easier.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Some kids can hold it for a long time. Is it really a big deal if she doesn't? Is she complaining of thirst or pee issues?

Please don't respond unless you first know what you're talking about. I realize you were probably trying to be helpful, but it can actually be dangerous to withhold urinating for long periods of time. A very full bladder which isn't released can cause damage to the tiny blood vessels in the kidney because the urine ends up backing up into the kidneys which causes extra pressure. There can also be infections. My pediatrician said that he also attended rounds at the hospital where there was a child there who needed a kidney transplant as a result of the urine always being withheld for too long before being eliminated, it being backed up in the kidneys, and repeat infections.

[Anonymous]

Please don't respond unless you first know what you're talking about. I realize you were probably trying to be helpful, but it can actually be dangerous to withhold urinating for long periods of time. A very full bladder which isn't released can cause damage to the tiny blood vessels in the kidney because the urine ends up backing up into the kidneys which causes extra pressure. There can also be infections. My pediatrician said that he also attended rounds at the hospital where there was a child there who needed a kidney transplant as a result of the urine always being withheld for too long before being eliminated, it being backed up in the kidneys, and repeat infections.

OK, calm down. The PP is right -- some kids are fine holding it a long time. My son can go from 7:30pm at night until noon the next day. It doesn't bother him, he doesn't have any medical issues. He just has a super bladder. My sister is the same way. When we were kids on a car trip, everyone would be bursting to go by the time we arrived at grandma's house, and she was always fine being last in the bathroom because she honestly didn't have to go like the rest of us. Please don't make something out of nothing. If a kid is holding pee out of fear or some other psychological issue, it should be addressed. Otherwise, let it go.