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school auction rant
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Anonymous
| First there were the yearly auctions for the pre-school. They were billed as "community building" events, which my husband pointed out was code for well schooled stay at home mothers who liked to have a reason to get together for adult company during the day. Now, we have notices coming home for the public elementary school's auction. They say they want to raise $42K, which I calculated is about $150/kid at the school. That's an impressive number if it's realistic. I was wondering about sending them a check for $150 and saying I'd kick in another $150 if they call off the auction, like WAMU canceling days of the pledge drive if people donate enough ahead of time. I don't want to spend my time on some handprint covered picture class creation that some other parent will have to buy out of guilt. I don't want to pay a babysitter so I can go to the auction and feel guilted into buying handprint covered class creations. Am I the only auction-dreader out there? |
Anonymous
Ah, yes, lovely: another disparaging comment about SAHMs on a topic that would seemingly have nothing to do with that--some people just can't help their disdain... |
Anonymous
Just donatet your $150 and don't attend; no big deal. Personally, I think it's fun to go and socialize with neighbors that I don't often see, but if you'd rather stay home, I can assure you that you won't be missed. (I don't mean that snarkily, BTW; I just mean that no one is taking attendance!  )
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Anonymous
| Sorry... I secretly love the auctions too... |
Anonymous
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Exactly, PP!
OP, it would be indelicate to speculate on your monthly calendar. Having said that, it seems obvious to everyone (but you?) that you are - how to say this delicately - a b*tch? Have you considered that the problem with the school social groups you so despise is - you? Maybe you just shouldn't attend. Odds are good that you won't be missed. You don't have to shower and go out, nobody has to actually talk to you... win-win. Love it yet? |
Anonymous
Agree. And agree she shouldn't attend. People will be relieved, I am sure. |
Anonymous
| I hate auctions, the way I hate selling Girl Scout cookies. I'd rather send in a check. And I'm a SAHM. I've got better things to do. |
Anonymous
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I don't get it. Who cares about the social aspect. And why do you want it cancelled?
Our auction was jam packed last year and a load of fun. And I like socializing with the SAHMs. I work and I am grateful for the effort that SAHMs and workign moms put in to make the event a success. What about the fact that the money raised directly benefits YOUR kids. Do you even have a clue what the money covers? If you don't like getting the notices, throw them out. If you think its a bad idea, stay home. |
Anonymous
| I am a SAHM and while I enjoy going to the actual event...and even bidding on a thing or two - I am not thrilled with volunteering for the planning of the auction. I am rather shy and the idea of approaching businesses for donations is hard for me to swallow. I leave that to the ones who seem to enjoy it! I try to help by volunteering for set-up or other jobs that are more functional. I have to say it is a nice way to get to know some other parents and I have made some good friends as a result of working on some projects at school. If you aren't into it - you should not feel pressured to participate. You can make a donation, like buying a ticket to the event for a teacher, or just write a check. I don't think anyone will hold it against you. I am just glad that their are enough other moms (and dads) who enjoy doing this.... |
Anonymous
OP, You raise some valid points with regard to the whole auction/preschool event planning. I know; I was there. The only people on the preschool auction committee were indeed SAHMs. At that point, I was staying home, too, and after doing "my time" on that damn committee (which was so disorganized and filled with chatty women), I decided that this whole "lifestyle" was not for me. So I returned to work. At that point, I was ostracized b/c I couldn't donate enough time to the school. I pulled my kid out and enrolled her in a preschool that actually costs more but is working mom friendly, has no auctions to raise funds (as they are definitely self-sufficient in terms of running the school), and has none of the BS related to volunteering on this committee and that committee. At THIS school, I actually want to donate something - whether it be in the form of snacks, classroom materials, or time. FWIW, three other working moms pulled their kids from that first preschool, too, and enrolled them in the school my daughter currently attends. Maybe we, as women, do polarize ourselves. But if I had to do it again, I'd never throw myself into those volunteer roles just b/c I felt the need to do something useful with my time. And we do volunteer. I take my daughter with me to donate clothes, food and toys, and I've hosted and attended parties that ask for donations for certain causes. So don't blast me on being selfish. These auctions and social committees have gotten out of hand, as far as I'm concerned, and they seem to be spearheaded by SAHMs. |
Anonymous
You know, this is why I avoid the PTO at my daughter's school. It's a very unfriendly group of women who are not interested in includig new members. |
Anonymous
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At our school, the last 4 auctions have been headed by parents who work outside the home, including a dad. I'm one of them and if you don't want to come, make handprint art, donate, etc., that's perfectly fine. Don't come and throw out the notices and waste no more mental energy on it.
Many people do enjoy coming to or working on the auction. Planning is a lot of hard work, but it's for a good cause and it gives you an opportunity to socialize with the parents at your childrens' school, many of whom happen to be people with whom it is fun to socialize. As long as there are enough of the people who enjoy the auction to carry the load of planning and execution, what's so burdensome to non-participants about having it? And what about the auction could possibly appeal exclusively to parents who don't work outside the home? I don't get the rant. |
Anonymous
Me neither. Don't like it? Don't go. It's that easy. But what's up with wanting to keep other people from going either?! Afraid that somebody somewhere out there might be enjoying herself without your permission? |
Anonymous
| I can't stand the auction and all surrounding hoopla. But for some people, it's the social event of the year. So no biggie. I don't go, they do, and everyone's happy. Frankly, I do think though, that a lot of the fundraising stuff that goes on year round is partly to give the non-working moms something to do. I don't do Sally Foster (I hate that overpriced wrapping paper!), and I choose one or two events to volunteer for each year, along with chaperoning a trip or two. Other than that, I just write a check. |
Anonymous
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I agree with PPs who suggest simply letting those who enjoy these events do so without your participation.
However, I too find the mere thought of attending our school's auction unpleasant. My DC attends a private school, so the auction is not only about raising large amounts of money for a worthy cause, but also seems to be about displaying just how much wealth you have. Personally, I would feel very uncomfortable bidding on and winning a week's stay at another parent's fancy second home. But again, to each his own. I volunteer a bit to be helpful in the effort but elect not to pay a large ticket price to attend an event that makes me feel uncomfortable for any number of reasons! |