If a first date goes well, but you have no attraction to them...where do you go?

[Anonymous]

Can you appropriately just make friends?

Keep seeing each other and see if the attraction comes?

[Anonymous]

Attraction develops over time. If the person is great keep seeing them in some capacity and you never know, it could be great. I wasn't attracted to my husband after the first but by the second I felt differently. Married five years with one kid now.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Attraction develops over time. If the person is great keep seeing them in some capacity and you never know, it could be great. I wasn't attracted to my husband after the first but by the second I felt differently. Married five years with one kid now.

At this point I could see how I could maybe eventually feel attracted to them. I enjoyed their company, but had no interest in anything romantic.

I'm used to an immediate attraction.

[Anonymous]

One date?
Keep seeing each other.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:One date?
Keep seeing each other.

Ok. Maybe I expect too much.

[Anonymous]

back to the drawing board

[Anonymous]

How does immediate attraction usually end up working for you? If you are looking for long term and what you've been doing hasn't ended up that way, maybe stop going for the first date butterflies and see this person a couple more times before making a decision.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:How does immediate attraction usually end up working for you? If you are looking for long term and what you've been doing hasn't ended up that way, maybe stop going for the first date butterflies and see this person a couple more times before making a decision.

Good point.

It usually ends up horribly.

[Anonymous]

I agree with PP's who suggest a few more dates to see if attraction develops. You say you like him so why not? You have nothing to lose and there is always the possibility the physical attraction will happen. Have you kissed him yet? The kiss could change your mind - or it could seal the "just friends" deal.
I don't think there is any point to continue dating if you are really not attracted getting to know the guy a little better. Funny, usually the physical attraction is the first thing that happens - and then a few dates later the guy becomes not so attractive because you realize you don't really like thing about his personality. This probably happens a lot actually

[Anonymous]

Just move on.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How does immediate attraction usually end up working for you? If you are looking for long term and what you've been doing hasn't ended up that way, maybe stop going for the first date butterflies and see this person a couple more times before making a decision.

Good point.

It usually ends up horribly.

I agree with the above advice of continuing to see them a few more times before ending things or not. Assuming you are looking for a partner for life, and not just a lot of hot sex but with nothing coming out the relationship, you should keep an open mind and focus on who they are as a person and see if something blossoms. You never know! Good luck!

[Anonymous]

Also agree that when you kiss him you will know for sure after a couple more dates...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:How does immediate attraction usually end up working for you? If you are looking for long term and what you've been doing hasn't ended up that way, maybe stop going for the first date butterflies and see this person a couple more times before making a decision.

This. IMO most people I felt instant attraction to weren't suitable partners.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Attraction develops over time. If the person is great keep seeing them in some capacity and you never know, it could be great. I wasn't attracted to my husband after the first but by the second I felt differently. Married five years with one kid now.

+1

[Anonymous]

Do you have any desire to see *any* part of him naked? Like, if you picture him in his underwear, does it make you want to barf, or are you just like "meh?" Because if you are actually repulsed by him, or think "ewww", game over. But if there is even the slightest possibility that you might develop an attraction, you should see him again. Hard to tell from one date where things should go.