It's my first day and i'm crabby
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Anonymous
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my mother, who is a dear sweet person and does a great deal of childcare for us, has been involved in this whole going-to-KG thing for the past few weeks has listened to my worries and concerns... but i'm just feeling a little blown off - if she says, "i did drop off for 23 years and i know exactly how it is" one MORE time, i'm going to scream. this morning, she pulled the "it's not big deal" thing again and well, it IS a big deal for ME. I have NOT done this for 23 years, so it is NEW. I know it will get old - probably by next tuesday, but for now, it is new and exciting and scary and wonderful and I am enjoying every bit of it. Why must she steal the thunder with 1) "I was scared too - i drove around the school 4 times the day your brother started" 2) "i did drop off for 23 years. i am a pro. i should come with you this whole first week" (NO) or 3) "Its fine. It's going to be fine." She called this am to tell me all of the 3. i was annoyed b/c I needed to FINALLY get a little work done with ZERO interruptions and wanted some peace to digest my own thoughts, but if i didn't answer, she would have then started calling my cell. over and over until she got me. argh. just venting. |
Anonymous
| And I hope all your kids (and mine!) have great first days! |
Anonymous
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Switch your phone off and enjoy the drop off, then send a picture by email to her " busy but just wanted to share a pic with you, love.
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Anonymous
| If you lean on her this much, you have to put up with this much. Are you sure this is the best idea? |
Anonymous
| Your mother does sound like a dear, sweet person. Hopefully you'll get there some day. |
Anonymous
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OP, what is she supposed to say? She thinks you're being anxious and she's trying to calm you down.
Because it is going to be fine. And you are going to cry. And that's ok. (fellow soon-to-be kindergarten parent here. we've been doing full-day daycare/preschool since early on, so this is not a big deal for me.) |
Anonymous
| You sound like a pain. Your mother was trying to empathize, offer help, and calm you down. She has to listen to your worries and concerns for weeks(!) and now you think she's "stealing your thunder" (WTH!) and "blowing your off" by calling you to express sympathy and reassurance. |
Anonymous
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"Anonymous
Your mother does sound like a dear, sweet person. Hopefully you'll get there some day." +1 Go back and re read your post OP. Those are not mean things to say and you complain both about her trying to reassure you ("it will be ok") and her empathizing with you ("yes, I did that too!" I think you probably nit pick her. |
Anonymous
+1 You get free childcare from this woman, who you even say is a sweet person, and you are bitching because she is trying to make you feel comfortable? Too bad your apple landed far from her tree. You sound pretty crappy. |
Anonymous
| What a cow you are OP. So your mom who helps you out and tries to reassure you is 'annoying' because her semantic don't adequately meet with the egotistical needs of Bitch Princess Progeny (that's you - not your little one who hopefully got more of dad's genes) |
Anonymous
| Oh wow. Your mother sounds sweet. You'll miss those stories she tells you when she's gone. |
Anonymous
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Anonymous
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How is telling someone that dropping their DC off at K for the first time is not a big deal because they've already done it empathizing? It's not -- it's the exact opposite of empathizing
I already posted the response in quotes below in response to the first nasty post against OP I read, but it got caught in the quote area, and now I realize it can be applied to almost all the posts. You guys miss the point entirely. "What a jerk thing to say. OP, she sounds like a pill. This is YOUR first time dropping your kid off. It is a big deal. Congrats on this milestone. Too bad your mom can't see that this is about you and your DC more than it is about her. Your mom sounds like she thinks she's the center of the universe. Good luck with her." |
Anonymous
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OP here again: its not so much the comments or the effort to console me, but its the way it is said and the tone... and the interruptions...
me: i'm kind of nervous about the pick up - i don't know who supervises the kids getting in the cars... mom - cutting me off: oh, it'll be fine, i have 23 years experience doing this. i've done picks up for years. i know everything about pick ups. me: yeah, but i can't figure out where the car goes in the... mom: (cutting me off again): i was worried, too. i know about worrying. i drove around the school 4 times when your brother started. you don't even know the first thing about worrying, i worried more than you. me: but, mom, i just don't know how.... mom : it's not a big deal. if you're so worried, i should just do it. why don't i do the pick up on the first few days? or i'll just come with you in the car? or meet you right after? |
Anonymous
+1 it sounds like she was offering empathy and support. I would probably say the same thing to a friend. So my guess is she has no idea that what she is saying might not be received well. Cut her a break. 
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