Differences between spouse
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Anonymous
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Since we have our DC1, we often disagree and argue about something, some small, some silly, some big, some important, etc. It stresses me out because I ended up losing the battle 99% of time. My communication and persuasion is weak, I know. So now I am thinking how different we are and wonder why we are even together for 10 years.
He is very detail, organized, planned (everything involves other people needs to plan ahead), logical driven, extremely polite, good communication, dictating, worry about anything, like to stay in town, like to do things together, etc. I am very opposite. I am an easy going person, I can pull up the last minute get together, vacation no problem, I am careless of most of things that out of my control, emotional driven, not as polite as DH, poorer communication than DH(I have been living here about 12 years) and still working on it but I don't have problem of communicating at work, like travelling, need my personal time, etc. This drives me nut. Am I being too sensitive? My stress level is at the top of my head but I can't seem to talk to DH because  I know I won't get my message across, he will just try to fix me. What can I do? To who that has a happy marriage, what can I learn from you?
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Anonymous
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If you were easy going you wouldn't care about the small or silly things, you wouldn't be keeping count of who wins or loses each argument. Those things don't matter to people who are easy going. Being emotionally driven isn't typical of people who are easy going.
It sounds more like you want to be easy going but aren't and all the little things that matter to your DH also actually matter to you but you don't do a good job of communicating that or you make it seem to him that you are easy going and the small stuff doesn't matter but underneath you are getting angry or resentful because it actually does matter to you. You could probably benefit from a few sessions with someone who can help you figure out what does matter to you an dhow to communicate that clearly. Then maybe a few marriage counseling sessions to try and create a healthier dynamic. |
Anonymous
| How old is DC1? The first 8 months were a stress on our marriage. |
Anonymous
OP. DC1 is almost 22 month old but it has been like 8 months
What service is this so I can search for that someone or do I just talk to any friends? Thanks. |
Anonymous
| OP, do a Google search for "Marriage Counselors in DC" or replace DC with whatever city you live in. |