question about car pooling and fairness

[Anonymous]

We have 2 kids and will be carpooling with a family in our neighborhood who have one kid for swimming practice about 30 minute each way. Do we do twice as many "shifts"?

[Anonymous]

Each family drives 50% of the time.

[Anonymous]

No. I think you split it down the middle. That's how I would do it.

[Anonymous]

It depends on the deal and what works for each family.

[Anonymous]

Only if each of your kids live in different houses.

[Anonymous]

It's the gas and time back and forth - not like you need an extra car since you have two kids. Split it 50%.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It's the gas and time back and forth - not like you need an extra car since you have two kids. Split it 50%.

Right, but the OP receive activities for 2 kids while the neighbors receive activities for one.

[Anonymous]

Depends, if you only had one, is there a third family who might get invited?

[Anonymous]

I wouldn't expect that. Parents have to make just as many trips if they don't carpool, whether it's one kid, two, or three, and I can't imagine it's somehow costing her more to drive two of your kids rather than just one.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Depends, if you only had one, is there a third family who might get invited?

What do you mean?

[Anonymous]

Yes, you should do more. They are taking on more responsibility with your two than their one. I would not agree to that.

[Anonymous]

In this case each family would be making a trip to and a trip from the activity. A carpool between them would save each family one of those trips.

The only way the doubled up family should drive twice is if their second child was taking a seat away from another driving family (say if they had to turn away a potential third family which would mean the driving could be split 3 ways)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Depends, if you only had one, is there a third family who might get invited?

What do you mean?

I mean that as a parent of one child, if I have a choice between a carpool with 2 kids from 2 separate families where I have to drive 1/3 of the time, and a carpool with 2 kids from the same family, where I'm expected to drive 1/2 the time, the former would be my preference. If you want to get me to join your carpool with 2 kids, you might need to offer to drive more than 1/2.

On the other hand, if I'm living in a neighborhood where the only other family going to this activity has 2 kids, and my choices are driving 1/2 the time with 2 kids, or 1/2 the time with 3, then your second kid doesn't impact me at all and I'm totally fine with driving half the time.

[Anonymous]

i think its petty to do anything other than 50/50.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:i think its petty to do anything other than 50/50.

I think it is petty not to do a few extra as you are making the other family responsible for two kids vs one.