Disappointment

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Nah, she wasn’t realistic about a lot of these colleges. I’m pp whose DC got into 8 schools a while back.

I agree with other posters. You have to do lots of research to get good outcomes. And I mean a lot of research. And then you have to be very realistic about the game and how you can win at it.

We were lucky because 1) my kid was not a 1500+ student; 2) the Ivies were never a consideration because of it, and 3) a few other “street smart” factors that we homed in on that narrowed our focus.

Colleges tell you who they are without necessarily telling you who they are if you are researching well and asking the right questions.

My last thought is that very few students should be applying to Ivies. It’s too hard to win at that game, and the penalty of losing other options early on is just not worth it unless you are really hooked.

I’m intrigued by this. Can you please share more? Maybe an example of two?

My question too.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I did not read through all the responses but I will provide this perspective. I didn't get into any of the schools that I was dreaming of at 18. I went with one that accepted me, transferred to a big public university after that - and just like the butterfly effect I was able to meet the love of my life at that second school. I shudder at the thought of choosing another path and not meeting. At 40 now - we both have graduate degrees, have good jobs, two awesome kids, overall an amazing life! Encourage ambition but also counsel that sometimes even the things laid before you will result in joy beyond what she can imagine right now.

Amen, sister. As the renowned poet Garth Brooks once said, “Sometimes I thank god for unanswered prayers.” 😊

Man, I need to listen to more Garth Brooks. Very wise.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP, I think the reason she didn’t get into UVA is the lack of leadership/contribution to her high school community.

The time she spent self-studying for extra APs (not helpful, btw) could have been spent getting involved in a EC at her school where she functioned in a team/group setting.

Robotics team, Engineering club, lots of options that could have aligned with her natural interests.

She was in a few clubs and president of 2, but wasn't involved in any sports. This probably wasn't enough then? She did do a lot of volunteering out-of-school.

Lack of leadership is one thing that could have come up in the application review. Unless the clubs were very active and the impact of you daughters leadership was apparent the impact of the ECs would not be really strong and that would hurt at the schools targeted.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Frankly, I think it’s wrong that our current college admissions process is becoming like Korea, China or India where children lose their childhoods spending 10 hour days cramming to score high enough or pressured to abandon all ethics and cheat whenever possible to get a coveted seat at the few respected institutions. Whether you win the lottery or not, you have lost more than you gained along the way.

You can easily choose not to go down that path.

My High stats kid did (1500/3.95 UW/8 AP).
They choose to mostly do STEM APs and AP Psych (easy and more importantly they liked Psychology)
They skipped APUSH/AP Eng/AP Spanish/French, because while they could easily do the course and get an A/A-, they didn't want to add 15-20+ hours/week of coursework. They wanted to dance 15-20hr+/week and enjoy HS just a bit. So they took AP Calc AB&BC, AP Bio, AP Chem, AP Physics Mech, AP CompSci A, etc. And skipped the time consuming (for them) Humanities/LA AP courses.
Now, maybe that is what prevented them from getting into reaches, who knows. What I do know is my kid had the academic HS experience they wanted (aside from Covid and classes from their bed for 1.5 years) We felt it was important that my kid get 5-6 hours of sleep each night not 3-4. And they were not giving up dance, they did what they wanted to with that

My kid got WL at one reach, rejected at 3, in at NEU Global Scholars, and in at 4 Targets and 3 safeties. And they are very happy where they are, and excelling for their future.

More importantly HS was not 4 years of misery doing things just because they might get into a T10 school

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:Anyone who thinks UNC is a safety for OOS has zero clue about the college process.

When did OP say it was a safety?

21:35pm post: "DD really liked CMU and wanted to double major with BME. UNC's joint program was supposed to be more of a safety, and DD said that she loved Dartmouth's flexibility in that program."

Op also said her daughter was "guaranteed" admission to UVA by her college counselor.

OP has to be a troll. This is beyond delusional.

I said almost guaranteed - Her counselor told us that it was very likely. UVA is a great school, but DD's public sends many kids to UVA every year. How is this delusional?

You literally wrote that Carolina OOS was supposed to be a safety (not even a target). That is delusional for anyone. ANYONE.

Here is a very good explanation that apparently you, your DD and her college counselors should watch. It is never, NEVER, a safety or target for any OOS student. I’m not here to argument the merits of a UNC degree (although I am a fan) but the numbers are what they are. Around 6% OOS acceptance rate, firm instate mandate minimum numbers, 57% increase in applications from 2017-2024 (thereby massively increasing your competition and driving down that acceptance rate even further).

Do you not understand math? Yes, it is delusional thinking to label OOS UNC a safety, an almost safety or a target. https://www.instagram.com/reel/DHXMaoEv1tW/?igsh=eG0yMWtna3owZ2di

We didn't hire a college counselor, she had her school counselor. Should we have spent on one?

No one said anything about a private college counselor. Her school counselor is her college counselor. Are you really this obtuse? I guess so. Your FREE school college counselor definitely should have known re OOS Carolina. Everyone knows. It is no secret. So either you are not intelligent or are lying/are making this all up.

I didn't grow up in the US so yes, I don't have the best grasp of these terms. I know that her school counselor is her college counselor, but they are also referred to as guidance counselors. I think you're the obtuse one here, sorry to say.

Do you even know what obtuse means?

Yes I do, and I was using it to referring to how quick you are to make assumptions and be nasty. That, to me, doesn't make someone the brightest of the bunch.

Um, no. Obtuse means being slow or not alert in perception, feeling or intellect or being unwilling to understand. A 5 second google search can tell you the definition. You literally just made up a different definition and are not using the word correctly. It does not mean to be quick to make assumptions or "being nasty".

Delusional means characterized by or holding false beliefs or judgments about external reality that are held despite incontrovertible evidence to the contrary; based on or having faulty judgment; mistaken. This is another word you need to learn the correct meaning.

Not OP.

You are rude. Look it up.

No, I am blunt and correct. Follow the conversation. OP’s mistakes and her unwillingness to listen probably cost her daughter a lot of unnecessary disappointment. Thinking OOS UNC and instate UVA from NOVA are safeties? GTHOH. I feel very sorry for this kid; but luckily she still has great options. That is, if this scenario is even real.

Whether you are correct is a debatable. Twenty-plus pages debatable. That you are rude is not. Plenty of other PPs have made the same arguments you have without calling OP a stupid, lying troll.

“Do you even know what obtuse means?”

Rude.

Cry about it. At least I’m not an idiot and when I have some ignorance about a topic (like the definition of a word or how a process like college admissions work), I try my best to get knowledge and do research to get more education. And she clearly didn't know what the word meant. FOFA.

[Anonymous]

I heard a college admissions officer explain it this way: The top five students from every high school (100K) in the U.S. =500,000 applicants to top schools!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Frankly, I think it’s wrong that our current college admissions process is becoming like Korea, China or India where children lose their childhoods spending 10 hour days cramming to score high enough or pressured to abandon all ethics and cheat whenever possible to get a coveted seat at the few respected institutions. Whether you win the lottery or not, you have lost more than you gained along the way.

You can easily choose not to go down that path.

My High stats kid did (1500/3.95 UW/8 AP).
They choose to mostly do STEM APs and AP Psych (easy and more importantly they liked Psychology)
They skipped APUSH/AP Eng/AP Spanish/French, because while they could easily do the course and get an A/A-, they didn't want to add 15-20+ hours/week of coursework. They wanted to dance 15-20hr+/week and enjoy HS just a bit. So they took AP Calc AB&BC, AP Bio, AP Chem, AP Physics Mech, AP CompSci A, etc. And skipped the time consuming (for them) Humanities/LA AP courses.
Now, maybe that is what prevented them from getting into reaches, who knows. What I do know is my kid had the academic HS experience they wanted (aside from Covid and classes from their bed for 1.5 years) We felt it was important that my kid get 5-6 hours of sleep each night not 3-4. And they were not giving up dance, they did what they wanted to with that

My kid got WL at one reach, rejected at 3, in at NEU Global Scholars, and in at 4 Targets and 3 safeties. And they are very happy where they are, and excelling for their future.

More importantly HS was not 4 years of misery doing things just because they might get into a T10 school

Someone will come along shortly and say your kid is not well rounded and can't read a 400 year old book and can't pick out countries from a map

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Anyone who thinks UNC is a safety for OOS has zero clue about the college process.

Unpopular opinion on here, I suppose, but it shouldn't take a degree in game theory to figure out where to apply for college.

And it doesn't.

Apply to as many reaches as you want/can afford to, but know that they are ALL REACHES, and you likely won't get it. Be surprised if you do, not disappointed that you don't.

Then find 3-5 great/amazing Targets that fit your kid and their major and apply. It helps to make some of those targets more likely by aiming for an acceptance rate of 30-35%+ and your kid above 75/85%. With those stats, even with engineering, there are plenty of choices in the 30-100 range that will meet the Target and Safety definition)

Then find safeties that you actually like and want to attend.

And yes, even "high stats kids" can find those targets and safeties. If you don't, well then you might be disappointed come March/April, and that is completely your fault, not the college application process.

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:Anyone who thinks UNC is a safety for OOS has zero clue about the college process.

When did OP say it was a safety?

21:35pm post: "DD really liked CMU and wanted to double major with BME. UNC's joint program was supposed to be more of a safety, and DD said that she loved Dartmouth's flexibility in that program."

Op also said her daughter was "guaranteed" admission to UVA by her college counselor.

OP has to be a troll. This is beyond delusional.

I said almost guaranteed - Her counselor told us that it was very likely. UVA is a great school, but DD's public sends many kids to UVA every year. How is this delusional?

You literally wrote that Carolina OOS was supposed to be a safety (not even a target). That is delusional for anyone. ANYONE.

Here is a very good explanation that apparently you, your DD and her college counselors should watch. It is never, NEVER, a safety or target for any OOS student. I’m not here to argument the merits of a UNC degree (although I am a fan) but the numbers are what they are. Around 6% OOS acceptance rate, firm instate mandate minimum numbers, 57% increase in applications from 2017-2024 (thereby massively increasing your competition and driving down that acceptance rate even further).

Do you not understand math? Yes, it is delusional thinking to label OOS UNC a safety, an almost safety or a target. https://www.instagram.com/reel/DHXMaoEv1tW/?igsh=eG0yMWtna3owZ2di

We didn't hire a college counselor, she had her school counselor. Should we have spent on one?

No one said anything about a private college counselor. Her school counselor is her college counselor. Are you really this obtuse? I guess so. Your FREE school college counselor definitely should have known re OOS Carolina. Everyone knows. It is no secret. So either you are not intelligent or are lying/are making this all up.

I didn't grow up in the US so yes, I don't have the best grasp of these terms. I know that her school counselor is her college counselor, but they are also referred to as guidance counselors. I think you're the obtuse one here, sorry to say.

Do you even know what obtuse means?

Yes I do, and I was using it to referring to how quick you are to make assumptions and be nasty. That, to me, doesn't make someone the brightest of the bunch.

Um, no. Obtuse means being slow or not alert in perception, feeling or intellect or being unwilling to understand. A 5 second google search can tell you the definition. You literally just made up a different definition and are not using the word correctly. It does not mean to be quick to make assumptions or "being nasty".

Delusional means characterized by or holding false beliefs or judgments about external reality that are held despite incontrovertible evidence to the contrary; based on or having faulty judgment; mistaken. This is another word you need to learn the correct meaning.

Not OP.

You are rude. Look it up.

No, I am blunt and correct. Follow the conversation. OP’s mistakes and her unwillingness to listen probably cost her daughter a lot of unnecessary disappointment. Thinking OOS UNC and instate UVA from NOVA are safeties? GTHOH. I feel very sorry for this kid; but luckily she still has great options. That is, if this scenario is even real.

Whether you are correct is a debatable. Twenty-plus pages debatable. That you are rude is not. Plenty of other PPs have made the same arguments you have without calling OP a stupid, lying troll.

“Do you even know what obtuse means?”

Rude.

Cry about it. At least I’m not an idiot and when I have some ignorance about a topic (like the definition of a word or how a process like college admissions work), I try my best to get knowledge and do research to get more education. And she clearly didn't know what the word meant. FOFA.

Respectfully asking you guys to stop. I'm not the OP. I just find this all very annoying. OK, maybe this family could have gotten different guidance and applied with different expectations. Let's help them feel great about the good choices they have in front of them! Pitt biomedical engineering is excellent. Why not amplify that rather than bicker about how a family navigated the process.

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:Anyone who thinks UNC is a safety for OOS has zero clue about the college process.

When did OP say it was a safety?

21:35pm post: "DD really liked CMU and wanted to double major with BME. UNC's joint program was supposed to be more of a safety, and DD said that she loved Dartmouth's flexibility in that program."

Op also said her daughter was "guaranteed" admission to UVA by her college counselor.

OP has to be a troll. This is beyond delusional.

I said almost guaranteed - Her counselor told us that it was very likely. UVA is a great school, but DD's public sends many kids to UVA every year. How is this delusional?

You literally wrote that Carolina OOS was supposed to be a safety (not even a target). That is delusional for anyone. ANYONE.

Here is a very good explanation that apparently you, your DD and her college counselors should watch. It is never, NEVER, a safety or target for any OOS student. I’m not here to argument the merits of a UNC degree (although I am a fan) but the numbers are what they are. Around 6% OOS acceptance rate, firm instate mandate minimum numbers, 57% increase in applications from 2017-2024 (thereby massively increasing your competition and driving down that acceptance rate even further).

Do you not understand math? Yes, it is delusional thinking to label OOS UNC a safety, an almost safety or a target. https://www.instagram.com/reel/DHXMaoEv1tW/?igsh=eG0yMWtna3owZ2di

We didn't hire a college counselor, she had her school counselor. Should we have spent on one?

No one said anything about a private college counselor. Her school counselor is her college counselor. Are you really this obtuse? I guess so. Your FREE school college counselor definitely should have known re OOS Carolina. Everyone knows. It is no secret. So either you are not intelligent or are lying/are making this all up.

I didn't grow up in the US so yes, I don't have the best grasp of these terms. I know that her school counselor is her college counselor, but they are also referred to as guidance counselors. I think you're the obtuse one here, sorry to say.

Do you even know what obtuse means?

Yes I do, and I was using it to referring to how quick you are to make assumptions and be nasty. That, to me, doesn't make someone the brightest of the bunch.

Um, no. Obtuse means being slow or not alert in perception, feeling or intellect or being unwilling to understand. A 5 second google search can tell you the definition. You literally just made up a different definition and are not using the word correctly. It does not mean to be quick to make assumptions or "being nasty".

Delusional means characterized by or holding false beliefs or judgments about external reality that are held despite incontrovertible evidence to the contrary; based on or having faulty judgment; mistaken. This is another word you need to learn the correct meaning.

Not OP.

You are rude. Look it up.

No, I am blunt and correct. Follow the conversation. OP’s mistakes and her unwillingness to listen probably cost her daughter a lot of unnecessary disappointment. Thinking OOS UNC and instate UVA from NOVA are safeties? GTHOH. I feel very sorry for this kid; but luckily she still has great options. That is, if this scenario is even real.

Whether you are correct is a debatable. Twenty-plus pages debatable. That you are rude is not. Plenty of other PPs have made the same arguments you have without calling OP a stupid, lying troll.

“Do you even know what obtuse means?”

Rude.

Cry about it. At least I’m not an idiot and when I have some ignorance about a topic (like the definition of a word or how a process like college admissions work), I try my best to get knowledge and do research to get more education. And she clearly didn't know what the word meant. FOFA.

So you are rude. You must have gone and looked it up. Didn’t you know the definition when you first denied it?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:REACH
JHU, Princeton, Brown, Dartmouth, Columbia, Duke, CMU, Cornell, UNC (OOS)
TARGET
UVA, VT, WM, Lehigh
SAFETY
UPitt

UVA RD and engineering (BME) from NOVA is NOT a REACH, it's a Target. W&M is also a REACH.

Do that and you see the OP applied to mostly REACHes

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:Anyone who thinks UNC is a safety for OOS has zero clue about the college process.

When did OP say it was a safety?

21:35pm post: "DD really liked CMU and wanted to double major with BME. UNC's joint program was supposed to be more of a safety, and DD said that she loved Dartmouth's flexibility in that program."

Op also said her daughter was "guaranteed" admission to UVA by her college counselor.

OP has to be a troll. This is beyond delusional.

I said almost guaranteed - Her counselor told us that it was very likely. UVA is a great school, but DD's public sends many kids to UVA every year. How is this delusional?

Because most of them likely applied ED or EA!!!

It's like you DO NOT apply to UMD or UVA RD. Or at least, you don't do that if you actually care and want to be admitted. It's a well known fact. And someone whose kid is "self studying for APs" has a parent who is capable of knowing that, as well as a school counselor who knows that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I dont think continuing to engage w this thread is going to make you any happier.

Go see Pitt. I bet you love it.

if she wants to defer and try again with a new list, do that.

OMG!!! Why would you "defer and try again"?!?!? it is not going to be better next year. Pick from the schools you got into and get your kid into the actual college experience

[Anonymous]

Public or private school?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Am I the only one who finds HS founders of non-profits to be borderline insulting? I worked in the non-profit world, so did dh. These are serious places and it takes as much (if not more) work than a business to be a really successful one. I know bc we now own a successful business. It's not some vanity project to be started by a 17 year old. So annoying. Change my mind.

100% agree with you
Some of these parent-engineered and manufactured non-profits get great results to this day, unfortunately.
There simply isn’t the time, money, nor inclination to verify claims. I am thinking of one (graduated already) person right now whose HS nonprofit has been scrubbed from their LinkedIn recently.

They don't and it is a tired trope. A non-profit could be a great EC if it grew, scaled, and took on a life of its own in such a manner that it lived on well beyond the creator. But, the vast majority of them don't and AOs see them for what they are and discount them accordingly. Some kids still do them but it is a waste of time.

High school research is the current darling as is seen by the rise of pay to play research driven by college consultants. This one has also run its course and research is also no longer a highly valued EC in the vast majority of cases.