How can we make DC streets bicycle and pedestrian-only?

[Anonymous]

The mention of Doordash is particularly odd. Why would you need a whole car to transport somebody's order of pad thai in DC?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The mention of Doordash is particularly odd. Why would you need a whole car to transport somebody's order of pad thai in DC?

Exactly. It’s car centered infrastructure that’s the problem due to car brained traffic engineers. The city should build out a network of pneumatic tubes that would serve this basic delivery function while also reducing our obscene reliance on cars that are literally killing us.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The mention of Doordash is particularly odd. Why would you need a whole car to transport somebody's order of pad thai in DC?

Exactly. It’s car centered infrastructure that’s the problem due to car brained traffic engineers. The city should build out a network of pneumatic tubes that would serve this basic delivery function while also reducing our obscene reliance on cars that are literally killing us.

Going all-in on steampunk, I see.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The mention of Doordash is particularly odd. Why would you need a whole car to transport somebody's order of pad thai in DC?

Exactly. It’s car centered infrastructure that’s the problem due to car brained traffic engineers. The city should build out a network of pneumatic tubes that would serve this basic delivery function while also reducing our obscene reliance on cars that are literally killing us.

Going all-in on steampunk, I see.

Let Futurama be our guiding light towards a modern, car-free, vibrant, urban landscape.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The mention of Doordash is particularly odd. Why would you need a whole car to transport somebody's order of pad thai in DC?

Exactly. It’s car centered infrastructure that’s the problem due to car brained traffic engineers. The city should build out a network of pneumatic tubes that would serve this basic delivery function while also reducing our obscene reliance on cars that are literally killing us.

Going all-in on steampunk, I see.

Let Futurama be our guiding light towards a modern, car-free, vibrant, urban landscape.

I think you think you're being funny. I don't think you're being funny.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The mention of Doordash is particularly odd. Why would you need a whole car to transport somebody's order of pad thai in DC?

Exactly. It’s car centered infrastructure that’s the problem due to car brained traffic engineers. The city should build out a network of pneumatic tubes that would serve this basic delivery function while also reducing our obscene reliance on cars that are literally killing us.

Going all-in on steampunk, I see.

Let Futurama be our guiding light towards a modern, car-free, vibrant, urban landscape.

I think you think you're being funny. I don't think you're being funny.

Was this thread supposed to be serious? Please tell me that this thread was not supposed to be serious.

[Anonymous]

Since we're dreaming up nonsense, I propose water slides. Not only would they be multifunctional by providing irrigation and supporting local fisheries they would also be multiseasonal by doubling as ice tracks in the winter. Plus they'd be fun and non-ableist.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The mention of Doordash is particularly odd. Why would you need a whole car to transport somebody's order of pad thai in DC?

Because that’s what most Door Dash drivers drive. Their ability to make gig work pay is to deliver as many high value orders in the shortest period of time. And many gig workers live in the burbs so bikes aren’t going to work for them as well in DC. Ever see all the delivery cars lined up and clogging Connecticut Ave to deliver orders of eggs and avocado toast to hip Urbanistas?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The mention of Doordash is particularly odd. Why would you need a whole car to transport somebody's order of pad thai in DC?

Because that’s what most Door Dash drivers drive. Their ability to make gig work pay is to deliver as many high value orders in the shortest period of time. And many gig workers live in the burbs so bikes aren’t going to work for them as well in DC. Ever see all the delivery cars lined up and clogging Connecticut Ave to deliver orders of eggs and avocado toast to hip Urbanistas?

Exactly. It kills me how many “ban the cars” people in my neighborhood are also avid users of Uber and DoorDash and Instacart. They are so proud they bike to work, but the rest of the time, they are still using the cars they hate, but think they are somehow superior because they don’t own them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The mention of Doordash is particularly odd. Why would you need a whole car to transport somebody's order of pad thai in DC?

Because that’s what most Door Dash drivers drive. Their ability to make gig work pay is to deliver as many high value orders in the shortest period of time. And many gig workers live in the burbs so bikes aren’t going to work for them as well in DC. Ever see all the delivery cars lined up and clogging Connecticut Ave to deliver orders of eggs and avocado toast to hip Urbanistas?

Exactly. It kills me how many “ban the cars” people in my neighborhood are also avid users of Uber and DoorDash and Instacart. They are so proud they bike to work, but the rest of the time, they are still using the cars they hate, but think they are somehow superior because they don’t own them.

Righto. The on-call ride and delivery services that they are using are also cruising around, burning fossil fuels, and spewing CO2 and more noxious fumes, while waiting for the next on-demand order. Or maybe the more environmentally conscious gig drivers are temporarily parked along a
street, taking up “car storage” space that the “car free” virtuous Urbanists disdain.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Since we're dreaming up nonsense, I propose water slides. Not only would they be multifunctional by providing irrigation and supporting local fisheries they would also be multiseasonal by doubling as ice tracks in the winter. Plus they'd be fun and non-ableist.

This is an excellent idea. DC gives billions to cars, hundred of millions to bikes and zero to water slides. It’s only fair for the city to allocate just a small portion of those resources to water slides.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Since we're dreaming up nonsense, I propose water slides. Not only would they be multifunctional by providing irrigation and supporting local fisheries they would also be multiseasonal by doubling as ice tracks in the winter. Plus they'd be fun and non-ableist.

This is an excellent idea. DC gives billions to cars, hundred of millions to bikes and zero to water slides. It’s only fair for the city to allocate just a small portion of those resources to water slides.

But me and my four friends are really into pogo sticks.

I don’t want to ride the subway or the bus or walk or ride a bike.

You need to spend billions of dollars building up an entirely separate transportation infrastructure to accommodate my preferred way of getting around.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Since we're dreaming up nonsense, I propose water slides. Not only would they be multifunctional by providing irrigation and supporting local fisheries they would also be multiseasonal by doubling as ice tracks in the winter. Plus they'd be fun and non-ableist.

This is an excellent idea. DC gives billions to cars, hundred of millions to bikes and zero to water slides. It’s only fair for the city to allocate just a small portion of those resources to water slides.

But me and my four friends are really into pogo sticks.

I don’t want to ride the subway or the bus or walk or ride a bike.

You need to spend billions of dollars building up an entirely separate transportation infrastructure to accommodate my preferred way of getting around.

Yes. It’s only fair that the city also provide safe transportation infrastructure for pogo stick users. Because studies show that the only reason why more people don’t use pogo sticks for transportation is because of perception of safety. So the city absolutely needs to invest in a network of padded pogo stick lanes. Only way to achieve climate goals and vision zero.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:How can we make DC e-scooter only?

As in every other form of transportation is banned except for e-scooters.

I won’t listen to any other suggestions or criticisms that this doesn’t make sense.

E-scooter uprising begins! Long live the E-scooter lobby! Huraaaah!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Since we're dreaming up nonsense, I propose water slides. Not only would they be multifunctional by providing irrigation and supporting local fisheries they would also be multiseasonal by doubling as ice tracks in the winter. Plus they'd be fun and non-ableist.

This is an excellent idea. DC gives billions to cars, hundred of millions to bikes and zero to water slides. It’s only fair for the city to allocate just a small portion of those resources to water slides.

But me and my four friends are really into pogo sticks.

I don’t want to ride the subway or the bus or walk or ride a bike.

You need to spend billions of dollars building up an entirely separate transportation infrastructure to accommodate my preferred way of getting around.

I can't believe that idiots on the internet confuse spending billions on cars with billions on bikes. You people are laughable.