Would you cash a birthday check from your elderly parents?

[Anonymous]

My parents are in their seventies and not poor but not wealthy either. (FWIW I am a gov't attorney and my dad is a planner. Mom's retired.) They usually get me a book or a scarf or something like that for my birthday. This year maybe they were pressed for time or perhaps because of bad weather they sent me a check for $50. A little strange, I thought, but whatever.

I feel a bit weird cashing a check from my parents. I don't need the money, in fact I think I make more than my father, and they live in NYC.

What would you do?

[Anonymous]

They want you to have it; you should cash it. Not cashing it seems like a form of rejection (not saying that's what you intend, but just how it might be taken).

[Anonymous]

Would you read a book they bought you? Would you wear a sweater they chose?

The check is a gift; they want you to have it. To not cash it would be a little rude. If it makes you feel better, spend the money on something they need, and be generous at their birthdays this year.

[Anonymous]

I would cash it.

[Anonymous]

If they have the money to give and are in sound mind , then yes, absolutely; as PP said, it is a gift. We're talking $50 here, not $500. My father always sends me $50-100 for my birthday because he doesn't know what to get, and I always just thank him a lot and tell him what I used it for, which makes him happy.

[Anonymous]

I would cash it, use it for something special for yourself (dinner, a movie, a book, etc.) and let them know how much you enjoyed the opportunity to splurge on yourself with their gift.

[Anonymous]

I agree with the PPs. My mom used to always give me money or a check for my b-day and not only would she have been hurt if I didn't cash it, but she hated if I used the money for necessities. She wanted me to spend it on something I wanted, not something I needed.

[Anonymous]

OP: I hope you are not the Rochelle I know.

[Anonymous]

Lots of parents give checks to their grown children in lieu of holiday presents--ours figure we will better know how to spend the money to increase our happiness.

[Anonymous]

I'd cash it.

It'd probably hurt their feelings if you didn't.

Worst case, I'm sure you could spare $50 later in life if they need it back at some point!

[Anonymous]

Okay, I'll cash it...no, I'm not Rochelle.

[Anonymous]

Our family does well. We want for nothing and expessly tell family NOT to buy us b-day or xmas gifts.

MY DHs grandparents live in a fixed income and have very often sent us money, we do not cash the checks. My 80 something grandmother often sends us small checks as well and we do not cash it.

I cannot in good concious take their money. We don't put much value on money, as we already have enough, so we really prefer that people give their money to other family members who might appreciate and need it.

I don't begrudge people who would take the money, but I just don't feel right doing it myself.

[Anonymous]

Must be nice to be that wealthy that you don't need the money.

[Anonymous]

13:50: Aren't you concerned that by refusing to cash the checks you are denying the givers the chance to feel good about giving? People on fixed incomes enjoy being generous just as much as those who are wealthy, even if they can afford to give much less.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:13:50: Aren't you concerned that by refusing to cash the checks you are denying the givers the chance to feel good about giving? People on fixed incomes enjoy being generous just as much as those who are wealthy, even if they can afford to give much less.

I agree. Accept the gift--then "repay" them if you feel it necessary through gifts--could even be practical things or services that would help them.