Would you cash a birthday check from your elderly parents?

[Anonymous]

I'd cash it - like the other posters said. I once didn't cash a check gift from my Aunt and she was so offended. Basically said something along the lines of...how I must be so rich that I don't even bother cashing checks. I felt horrible about that.

[Anonymous]

Cash it and invest it (not sure where in this economy) and give it back to them later with the interest.

[Anonymous]

OP here again...

13:50, I totally agree with you about grandparents...I would not even think about cashing their check. But these are parents which is why I ask. I feel strange about taking money from them but I see the point of view of others. They can afford to buy me a gift and I wouldn't think twice about accepting one.

14:03, I don't get your attitude. I'm not so well off that $50 means nothing to me and I'm not sure why or how you got that message from my post. In fact, it's because $50 is an amount of money that means something in my life (and those of my parents) that I ask this question...yes, it is "nice" that I can think of forego-ing cashing their check and not spending it on essentials, but I don't get why you sound so terribly bitter...I hardly think my post qualifies as some princess bragging about whether to burn through cash or not. Or am I missing something?

[Anonymous]

I think 14:03 was responding to 13:50.

[Anonymous]

I just wanna know who Rochelle is?

[Anonymous]

Yes since they are maintaining a checking account and will have deducted the amount in their book. When reconciling the statement they will be hurt that you didn't cash the check. This happened with both my parents and inlaws.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:13:50: Aren't you concerned that by refusing to cash the checks you are denying the givers the chance to feel good about giving? People on fixed incomes enjoy being generous just as much as those who are wealthy, even if they can afford to give much less.

No, b/c they are very old and I know for a fact the DHs grandparents do not balance their books. My grandmother I think does not either.

Yes, it is nice to be well off as the other poster commented. What is really special is being able to help family in need, such as paying my mom's mortgage right now after she got laid off from selling evening gowns at Nordstrom. It provides me with great comfort knowing my mother never has to worry.

[Anonymous]

I think it's sweet that they sent you a check and it's nice that you're even questioning whether to cash it.

I agree with the other PP who said to "repay" them, but make certain it's sentimental in some way.

[Anonymous]

It is a bit passive aggressive not to cash it. If you won't accept the gift, you should say so to their face and hand back the check. Give them the courtesy of the conversation.

At least that way you aren't forcing them to pretend they gave you a gift when they know they didn't.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It is a bit passive aggressive not to cash it. If you won't accept the gift, you should say so to their face and hand back the check. Give them the courtesy of the conversation.

At least that way you aren't forcing them to pretend they gave you a gift when they know they didn't.

Passive Aggressive? Oh, Come on. It's just like if I were to go out to lunch with my Mom, Id probably buy it. Not because Im more rich, or because she's poor, but because she spent half my life paying for me and it's nice to return the favor every now and then.

And maybe the OP doesnt want to take retirement money away from her parents?

[Anonymous]

The aggressive part is accepting the check and letting it expire while making it hard for them to reconciling the check book or to bring it up to their daughter. That's totally different from paying for lunch.

[Anonymous]

Just don't wait a year and then cash the check. Don't you guys remember the Seinfeld episode? His grandma sent him a check, he felt bad about not cashing it, then he was convinced by his friends to cash it. Grammy had closed her bank account, in fact that bank had closed, but granny got a note that her check bounced -- went to cash it, and then there were thugs in the background as if to suggest grammy came to a bad end.

Best to just cash it!

OP, I agree with the poster who suggested cash it and then do something nice for her. My 85 year old grandmoter gave us a 500 check for our wedding. We cashed it (but it felt funny) and thanked her profusely. Now any time we have her over, we make a big deal out of telling her how she paid for all of the place settings. It's not like we ever let her pay for anything when she's with us, so it's not like we can really repay her quid-pro-quo for the check, but we've just made sure that we do special things with her and for her as much as possible. when she mentions something she's seen and finds interesting, we buy and send it to her.

I think unless your parents are struggling for money, cash the check. That will make THEM happy. And then spend at least 75 percent of it on them within the next few months (especially in person with a visit and something special). That will make YOU happy.

[Anonymous]

This reminds me of that Seinfeld episode where Jerry hadn't cashed his checks from "Nana."