Unsafe college campuses

[Anonymous]

I am stunned we have all these rapes on college campuses by STUDENTS. Who are these boys? Are they my son's friends? Are they normal kids or are they mentally ill? Do regular, well adjusted boys rape people? If so, what happened to our society? Why do so many boy college students apparently think it's ok to assault their classmates?

Talk to your sons! Make sure you haven't raised an animal who has no respect for women.
Honestly, this whole epidemic makes me sick. Does our ultra-sexual culture and misogynist images create a "rape culture?"
Can anyone shed light on what's happening?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am stunned we have all these rapes on college campuses by STUDENTS. Who are these boys? Are they my son's friends? Are they normal kids or are they mentally ill? Do regular, well adjusted boys rape people? If so, what happened to our society? Why do so many boy college students apparently think it's ok to assault their classmates?

Talk to your sons! Make sure you haven't raised an animal who has no respect for women.
Honestly, this whole epidemic makes me sick. Does our ultra-sexual culture and misogynist images create a "rape culture?"
Can anyone shed light on what's happening?

Yes.

[Anonymous]

"All these rapes?" How many are we talking about? More than society in general?

[Anonymous]

Rape at colleges - especially date rape - has been happening for some time. It was certainly happening when I went to school 20+ years ago. IMO the difference now is that people are willing and wanting to talk about it. When I was in school the idea of date rape wasn't fully accepted. It was still the girls' fault for going to the guys' room or getting drunk at the party...I had friends who were date raped, but never said anything. I was almost date raped a few times, but thankfully, was able to get out of the situation relatively unscathed, but still think about how lucky I was. I even had a friend violently raped in a park and was treated horribly by the campus police and the police in the big city where she was studying. They still had the attitude that because she had been drinking she deserved it….as you can imagine, it was a horrific situation for her.

So, OP, I'm not sure that it is actually happening on a larger scale (although I may be wrong, of course), but I think society in general is coming to an understanding that if a person is not at full capacity then they cannot consent to sex (I say "person", but let's face it - it's mostly girls…). I'm quite happy that colleges and the public are talking about this in the open. Something does need to be done to make everyone recognize and respect each other. I, for one, have been talking with my DD about this for many years. She's going to college in the fall and I'm confident she has a good head on her shoulders, but that doesn't mean she won't get in a bad situation - I certainly hope not! At the same time, I have begun talking with her younger brother about his responsibilities. He still has 5 years until college and is not really close to being interested in girls, but I think it's my responsibility to guide him and make sure he understands the proper way to treat people. It's something I think all parents should be doing!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:"All these rapes?" How many are we talking about? More than society in general?

Yes, apparently I in 5 female college students are raped.

http://m.thenation.com/article/180114-why-campus-rape-crisis-confounds-colleges

Many more articles and studies....

[Anonymous]

Yes, 19:43, I agree that we are now just zeroing in on the idea that a women cannot consent if she is drunk. It used to be a cliche, that boys would try to get a girl drunk "to have their way with them." This was joked about. Now we call it rape. I don't understand why colleges adjudicate this crime? If someone committed another crime it would go to the police, not stay within the school.

I still can't get over the fact that nice boys, like my son's friends, are raping girls.
Has anyone known a boy that was accused of rape? Why don't they know it's really really wrong?

[Anonymous]

I think this is an example of the Swedish Paradox. Sweden has one of the highest rape rates in the world.....not because Swedish men are more likely to rape than others, but because because the reporting rate is so much higher than in other countries.

[Anonymous]

Have you ever listened to high school boys when they think no one is listening? The entitlement mentality is disgusting and at least at many privates the old, boys will be boys attitude prevails. I can't speak to public school.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am stunned we have all these rapes on college campuses by STUDENTS. Who are these boys? Are they my son's friends? Are they normal kids or are they mentally ill? Do regular, well adjusted boys rape people? If so, what happened to our society? Why do so many boy college students apparently think it's ok to assault their classmates?

Talk to your sons! Make sure you haven't raised an animal who has no respect for women.
Honestly, this whole epidemic makes me sick. Does our ultra-sexual culture and misogynist images create a "rape culture?"
Can anyone shed light on what's happening?

Yes.

+1

When I was in college I was sexually assaulted by a nice, normal, well-adjusted boy. He (and every other boy I hung out with those days) was so thoroughly indoctrinated in rape culture that he didn't pay attention to the fact that I was too drunk to consent or verbalize to him that I didn't want any sexual contact. Had he actually asked me "is this okay?" or cared about the fact that I was borderline unconscious, he would have gotten the clue. Instead, we both had to deal with the implications of that night for close to a year. It was awful.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am stunned we have all these rapes on college campuses by STUDENTS. Who are these boys? Are they my son's friends? Are they normal kids or are they mentally ill? Do regular, well adjusted boys rape people? If so, what happened to our society? Why do so many boy college students apparently think it's ok to assault their classmates?

Talk to your sons! Make sure you haven't raised an animal who has no respect for women.
Honestly, this whole epidemic makes me sick. Does our ultra-sexual culture and misogynist images create a "rape culture?"
Can anyone shed light on what's happening?

Yes.

+1

When I was in college I was sexually assaulted by a nice, normal, well-adjusted boy. He (and every other boy I hung out with those days) was so thoroughly indoctrinated in rape culture that he didn't pay attention to the fact that I was too drunk to consent or verbalize to him that I didn't want any sexual contact. Had he actually asked me "is this okay?" or cared about the fact that I was borderline unconscious, he would have gotten the clue. Instead, we both had to deal with the implications of that night for close to a year. It was awful.

What is "rape culture?"

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am stunned we have all these rapes on college campuses by STUDENTS. Who are these boys? Are they my son's friends? Are they normal kids or are they mentally ill? Do regular, well adjusted boys rape people? If so, what happened to our society? Why do so many boy college students apparently think it's ok to assault their classmates?

Talk to your sons! Make sure you haven't raised an animal who has no respect for women.
Honestly, this whole epidemic makes me sick. Does our ultra-sexual culture and misogynist images create a "rape culture?"
Can anyone shed light on what's happening?

Yes.

+1

When I was in college I was sexually assaulted by a nice, normal, well-adjusted boy. He (and every other boy I hung out with those days) was so thoroughly indoctrinated in rape culture that he didn't pay attention to the fact that I was too drunk to consent or verbalize to him that I didn't want any sexual contact. Had he actually asked me "is this okay?" or cared about the fact that I was borderline unconscious, he would have gotten the clue. Instead, we both had to deal with the implications of that night for close to a year. It was awful.

What is "rape culture?"

Surely you don't live under a rock, but, if you do, there's always Google. Look it up yourself goober.

[Anonymous]

C'mon people. Google is your friend.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rape_culture

[Anonymous]

If rape is going to be defined as having sex whilst wasted, I'm shocked that the number is ONLY. 1 in 5.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am stunned we have all these rapes on college campuses by STUDENTS. Who are these boys? Are they my son's friends? Are they normal kids or are they mentally ill? Do regular, well adjusted boys rape people? If so, what happened to our society? Why do so many boy college students apparently think it's ok to assault their classmates?

Talk to your sons! Make sure you haven't raised an animal who has no respect for women.
Honestly, this whole epidemic makes me sick. Does our ultra-sexual culture and misogynist images create a "rape culture?"
Can anyone shed light on what's happening?

Yes.

+1

When I was in college I was sexually assaulted by a nice, normal, well-adjusted boy. He (and every other boy I hung out with those days) was so thoroughly indoctrinated in rape culture that he didn't pay attention to the fact that I was too drunk to consent or verbalize to him that I didn't want any sexual contact. Had he actually asked me "is this okay?" or cared about the fact that I was borderline unconscious, he would have gotten the clue. Instead, we both had to deal with the implications of that night for close to a year. It was awful.

What culture do you have to be indoctrinated in to think you can get wasted and not make bad decisions or be taken advantage of?

Both boys and girls need to be educated on responsible behavior.

[Anonymous]

And yet when you go to visit these colleges they'll gladly tell you about their "blue light" emergency system so a woman can get help if she's being attacked by a stranger outside -- but the real danger is from the men she knows and hangs out with.