Should I bitch out my ex for stalking me and DH?
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Anonymous
| I have an exBF from hs who was part of my group of friends and always stayed in touch with me. My DH hates him. ExBF is pretty clingy and weird and actually wrote DH behind my back on Facebook to introduce himself after we married. He's the type who always checks in and wants to stay in touch, has poor boundaries and honestly I still think has a thing for me. He went nuts when I dumped him in hs but I guess we really did stay friends after if not just for him being so persistent in staying in touch. However I haven't actually seen him in person in over 10 years... Been married almost 7 years and havent replied to an email since 2009 but he cotinues to email me even though I haven't replied in years because I thought he was too weird contacting DH. For the record exBF is generally a creeper, he also tries to stay up to date on all my friends from hs. Told DH he still writes me. DH wants me to bitch him out but I think that's giving him the attention and he wants and also I just don't want to be mean. I kind of feel sorry for him. Should I bitch him out and tell him to go to hell. l love DH I hate to see him upset about my ex. |
Anonymous
| What's 'bitch him out" mean? |
Anonymous
DH literally wants me to cuss him out. I agree exBF has been disrespectful and weird. |
Anonymous
| Well, in that case, I'd say no. I can't see where cussing him out will help things. Just feed his weirdness. Get a restraining order if he keeps bugging you. |
Anonymous
| Ignore him. Forever if necessary. |
Anonymous
|
No. Do not engage.
De-friend him; mark his email as SPAM. Same for your DH. Repeat. Do not engage. Honestly, it's not a huge deal that someone wants to keep in touch. If you're not responding or you've told him you don't want contact, then yes, it's weird he keeps trying to contact you. Still do not engage. |
Anonymous
| Definitely ignore him. Any attempt to engage with him will make things worse. |
Anonymous
| No, do not egnage. |
Anonymous
|
Of course you don't "bitch him out", what an ass your husband is. 1. You send him a coldly worded email to say you don't want to hear from him again. 2. You ignore all subsequent communication, because of course there will be. 3. You get a restraining order if he resorts to physical stalking. Keep in mind that you are dealing with a socially inept individual, so keep it brief and crystal clear - no grey zone that's difficult to interpret. My DH and DS have Asperger's syndrome - they don't get subtle cues, and actually prefer and need to be told things in a direct way. |
Anonymous
From your POV I see what you mean but from DH's whose probably just being a hot blooded male I can see why he'd want her to tell him off. |
Anonymous
I never said to him directly to stop I just completely stopped responding after he contacted DH. It was so out of line!! |
Anonymous
I recently ran into a friend of his though and when they asked why I never contact exBF anymore I said it had to do with contacting with DH. |
Anonymous
It's none of the friend's business. Don't discuss the stalker in future. Change the subject, say you have been too busy to keep up with everyone from high school. Disengage. |
Anonymous
| Sounds like you have poor boundaries too. Disengage. |
Anonymous
Yes. I have the feeling this isn't entirely the ex's fault. |