Should I bitch out my ex for stalking me and DH?

[Anonymous]

You have no cause to "bitch him out". You clearly have no clue, either. Here is what you do, step by step:

1) Message him on FB and say you wish him well, but you re no longer interested amin staying in touch. This should be politely and kindly worded. You do not need to give a reason. End with the good wishes.

2) Defriend and block on FB.

3) Spouse defriends and blocks on FB.

All done. If for some reason anyone IRL asks hy you haven't been in touch, you simply say you don't have time to keep up with old HS friends.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sounds like you have poor boundaries too. Disengage.

Yes. I have the feeling this isn't entirely the ex's fault.

Victim blaming is so awful! Just because it's not rape doesn't mean it's her fault. Disgusting. It's basically stalking. You people are awful.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:
Of course you don't "bitch him out", what an ass your husband is.

1. You send him a coldly worded email to say you don't want to hear from him again.

2. You ignore all subsequent communication, because of course there will be.

3. You get a restraining order if he resorts to physical stalking.

Keep in mind that you are dealing with a socially inept individual, so keep it brief and crystal clear - no grey zone that's difficult to interpret.

My DH and DS have Asperger's syndrome - they don't get subtle cues, and actually prefer and need to be told things in a direct way.

From your POV I see what you mean but from DH's whose probably just being a hot blooded male I can see why he'd want her to tell him off.

What are you and the DH--13? Grown men--at least mature ones--do not "bitch" people out. That is the action the childish and immature--"hot blooded male" or not. She can continue to ignore him. She can ask/tell him to cease contact, but "bitch him out", I think not.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sounds like you have poor boundaries too. Disengage.

Yes. I have the feeling this isn't entirely the ex's fault.

Victim blaming is so awful! Just because it's not rape doesn't mean it's her fault. Disgusting. It's basically stalking. You people are awful.

It's not victim blaming, but OP and DH appear immature.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sounds like you have poor boundaries too. Disengage.

Yes. I have the feeling this isn't entirely the ex's fault.

Victim blaming is so awful! Just because it's not rape doesn't mean it's her fault. Disgusting. It's basically stalking. You people are awful.

This isn't victim blaming. Who said the Op is a victim? This guy hasn't threatened to hurt anyone.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Sounds like you have poor boundaries too. Disengage.

+1. I love that people on this board get called on their BS. One of my favorite things about DCUM.

[Anonymous]

Block him and change your settings so that only friends can message you. DH should do the same. Preview your public profile and make sure its blank.

[Anonymous]

Cuss him out so your husband will feel better. Then disengage.

[Anonymous]

Yuck, I'm sorry, OP. He sounds troubled - it isn't healthy that he keeps trying to insert himself in your life when you haven't even replied to a message from him in 4 years. Delete, block, and check your privacy settings so he can't keep tabs by being a mutual friend with your other friends.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sounds like you have poor boundaries too. Disengage.

Yes. I have the feeling this isn't entirely the ex's fault.

Victim blaming is so awful! Just because it's not rape doesn't mean it's her fault. Disgusting. It's basically stalking. You people are awful.

There's nothing about his behavior that sounds troubling to me. OP said he was in touch with all of their mutual friends so it's not out of character for him. Plus all of their mutual friends seem fine with him. Sounds like OP enjoys thinking about this guy carrying a torch for her.

[Anonymous]

Why are you staying in touch? Defriend him and block his email.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What's 'bitch him out" mean?

DH literally wants me to cuss him out. I agree exBF has been disrespectful and weird.

OK, I've heard of bitching, but bitch him out. A vague recollection from childhood. No one in my circles uses such language. But, got it now. Tnx.