Do you write thank you notes after a dinner party?

[Anonymous]

DH and I went to a sit-down dinner party at his former bosses's house -- they are friends and the two of them sometimes get lunch together.

I mentioned a few days later to DH that we should write a little TY note to boss and wife and he said he already e-mailed him to say thanks and what a lovely dinner, etc.

Is that enough? I don't want it to be overkill. But it was the wife who did all the cooking.

FWIW, I wouldn't do this for a good friend my age and wouldn't expect it from any guest who came to my house. The boss and wife are of an older generation where I know that was more common. But they're also not so terribly fussy.

Does anyone write thank you notes anymore for a sit-down dinner?

[Anonymous]

I do.

[Anonymous]

In that situation, I would absolutely write a thank you note.

[Anonymous]

No. I call or email or text the next day to say thank you. But unless it was a birthday dinner or they gave me a present, no thank you card.

[Anonymous]

Yes, I'd write a note.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Yes, I'd write a note.

So even though DH e-mailed the husband to say thank you? And should I be the one who writes, and should I just address the wife?

Just trying to get protocol here.

[Anonymous]

A thank you note after an e-mail is overkill.

[Anonymous]

Yes, write the wife a TY note. Not necessary, just classy. And you obviously feel compelled.

[Anonymous]

Yes, I would write a note on my lovely stationery bought for such occasions, but then I go to so few dinner parties that it's not an imposition!

[Anonymous]

Okay, I went ahead and wrote one, though I had to write it twice because I have terrible handwriting and the habit of inverting letters while writing and then making a mess of the word when I try to correct...

Now I'm ruminating over whether to address it to "Mrs. Joe Smith" (I've always hated that tradition myself, but realize other people prefer it) or just to Mary Smith. I recall that "Mrs. Mary Smith" supposedly means your husband is no longer around.

I know I'm overthinking this.

[Anonymous]

Mary Smith

[Anonymous]

Yes, you write a thank you note. Nothing else is acceptable- -not a thank you Hallmark card but a hand-written note on good stationery and in ink, not ballpoint.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Yes, you write a thank you note. Nothing else is acceptable- -not a thank you Hallmark card but a hand-written note on good stationery and in ink, not ballpoint.

NP. I had never heard there was an etiquette rule about the pen to use when writing thank you notes. I use a pen with a gel cartridge. Is that okay, or declasse?

[Anonymous]

ballpoint is ink too. It's just the method of getting it to the paper. I always use a feather from my pet peacock because I feel it means more.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:ballpoint is ink too. It's just the method of getting it to the paper. I always use a feather from my pet peacock because I feel it means more.