Do you write thank you notes after a dinner party?

[Anonymous]

You can't go wrong with a handwritten thank you note.

Simple is fine. Don't overthink it.

In this day and age, just dropping an actual note in the mail is a step above most who email or text, at best.

[Anonymous]

I would rather not get thanked than get a thank-you phone call. I know that makes me cranky, but to go answer the phone to hear someone say thank you when I have heard those words from that person already . . . bleh.

I hate the phone, basically. I use it for the exchange of functional information or for meandering chats.

[Anonymous]

Yes - but I might do email or a handwritten note depending on the occasion and the friendship. For me, as a dinner party host, there's always the feeling the next day of tiredness and letdown ("Did that go well? Did people have a good time"). I find that getting even a quick emailed thanks is really good for making me feel like it was all worth it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Okay, I went ahead and wrote one, though I had to write it twice because I have terrible handwriting and the habit of inverting letters while writing and then making a mess of the word when I try to correct...

Now I'm ruminating over whether to address it to "Mrs. Joe Smith" (I've always hated that tradition myself, but realize other people prefer it) or just to Mary Smith. I recall that "Mrs. Mary Smith" supposedly means your husband is no longer around.

I know I'm overthinking this.

Mary Smith, absolutely. I think there are very few people under 80 who would choose Mrs. Jos. Smith.

[Anonymous]

Yes to a handwritten thank you note. Write it on your own behalf to his wife. Honestly, she did all of the work anyway, not the husband your DH e-mailed.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:In that situation, I would absolutely write a thank you note.

+1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Okay, I went ahead and wrote one, though I had to write it twice because I have terrible handwriting and the habit of inverting letters while writing and then making a mess of the word when I try to correct...

Now I'm ruminating over whether to address it to "Mrs. Joe Smith" (I've always hated that tradition myself, but realize other people prefer it) or just to Mary Smith. I recall that "Mrs. Mary Smith" supposedly means your husband is no longer around.

I know I'm overthinking this.

Mary Smith, absolutely. I think there are very few people under 80 who would choose Mrs. Jos. Smith.

I disagree for anyone who's traditional and 50+.

[Anonymous]

I'm in my early 20s, and I also disagree to address the note to "Mary Smith" -- so it's not just older people who like to do things according to the more formal protocol. Incidentally, I would also prefer to receive a note addressed to me as Mrs. Joe Smith. Does writing thank you notes really make one fussy? I write them to all but my very closes friends (who are more like family to me) and I always use formal address for the envelope and first name for the note itself.

Address the envelope to Mrs. Joe Smith, and use her first name in the note itself if you are close enough friends to have been invited over for a purely social occasion (unless you called her Mrs. Smith all night ).

Envelope: Mrs. Joe Smith
Note: Dear Mary, thank you so much for a lovely evening...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm in my early 20s, and I also disagree to address the note to "Mary Smith" -- so it's not just older people who like to do things according to the more formal protocol. Incidentally, I would also prefer to receive a note addressed to me as Mrs. Joe Smith. Does writing thank you notes really make one fussy? I write them to all but my very closes friends (who are more like family to me) and I always use formal address for the envelope and first name for the note itself.

Address the envelope to Mrs. Joe Smith, and use her first name in the note itself if you are close enough friends to have been invited over for a purely social occasion (unless you called her Mrs. Smith all night ).

Envelope: Mrs. Joe Smith
Note: Dear Mary, thank you so much for a lovely evening...

Are you from Utah or something?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I'm in my early 20s, and I also disagree to address the note to "Mary Smith" -- so it's not just older people who like to do things according to the more formal protocol. Incidentally, I would also prefer to receive a note addressed to me as Mrs. Joe Smith. Does writing thank you notes really make one fussy? I write them to all but my very closes friends (who are more like family to me) and I always use formal address for the envelope and first name for the note itself.

Address the envelope to Mrs. Joe Smith, and use her first name in the note itself if you are close enough friends to have been invited over for a purely social occasion (unless you called her Mrs. Smith all night ).

Envelope: Mrs. Joe Smith
Note: Dear Mary, thank you so much for a lovely evening...

Are you from Utah or something?

Not sure what this means or what it might be implying, but nope. Grew up in the Midwest, have been in this area since my late teen years.

[Anonymous]

Yes and I probably would have sent cut flowers (so the hostess can arrange the way she likes) from a florist in advance

[Anonymous]

Send the note. When in doubt, send it. Nobody will get upset at receiving nice personal snail mail. Mrs. Mary Smith.

LOL about the handwriting, OP!

[Anonymous]

If u bring a gift/flowers U don't have to write a note. We entertain formally all of the time. But, I do like receiving a hand written note about the evening. I'm 50.

[Anonymous]

I don't know about formal protocol, but I think it's a nice thing to do.

[Anonymous]

Address to mr and mrs they both hosted even though wife cooked