Urgent help please, family drama

[Anonymous]

I am not close with my family, mainly because they are crazy. My brother is a compulsive liar and my Mom is an alcoholic (no Dad). My sister in law has been trying to get me closer to my family because family is important to her. I actually like her a lot more than my Mom and brother, she is the first person who has ever really treated me like family. My brother told my SIL an enormous financial lie that has huge repercussions. He is in a mess and my Mom bailed him out (for the millionth time). I suspected he was lying but didn't know for sure until today when my SIL contacted me to ask me for the truth. She Sked me to please tell her what I know, and I suspect she is planning to leave my brother depending on what I say (the truth). She is also 12 weeks pregnant and today told me she has a lot of things to think about. Part of me wants to stay out of this but the other part if me knows she deserves the truth. I'm scared to tell her, because I'm scared she will decide not to have the baby and I do not want that on my conscience. She hasn't said anything but said the only reason why she was pregnant was because my brother had finally been honest with her (he wasn't). Do I tell her the truth? Lie to her? It won't change my relationship with my brother, as we don't speak.

[Anonymous]

Whether your sister decides to end her pregnancy or not is solely her decision. That has nothing to do with you. Tell her the truth.

[Anonymous]

OP here- My sister in law is such a nice person, she really deserves better than being lied to by my brother. I'm just scared to tell her the truth because then I'll be the scape goat.

[Anonymous]

Please tell her the truth. Is this their first kid? You have no idea how hellish it is to have a child with a liar. She deserves to know. What she does is her responsibility, not yours, but if you doom her to 18+ years of hell you will feel bad for that, too.

[Anonymous]

Tell her the truth. She's going to find out eventually if it's a financial lie, and you don't want to be in a position where you lied to her about it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here- My sister in law is such a nice person, she really deserves better than being lied to by my brother. I'm just scared to tell her the truth because then I'll be the scape goat.

Oh please. Stop engaging in the drama. Just tell her and be done. So what if people blame you. You have to look at yourself in the mirror and know that you acted with integrity. That's all you need.

[Anonymous]

Tell her. You are not obligated to cover up for your brother's lies.

[Anonymous]

You have to help her.

Tell her everything you know, and everything you suspect, and please be sensitive about it. Don't turn your back on her if she lashes out - she's dealing with a lot right now.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Tell her. You are not obligated to cover up for your brother's lies.

+1

[Anonymous]

OP here- Thank you. I really appreciate this advice. People on DCUM usually post MYOB about everything, so I know what I need to do. My brother and I have never been close, and my SIL is such a sweet person. He's an excellent liar and my Mom keeps bailing him out over and over again. She said she's asked him for bank statements but it will take a few days because his lies literally go back years. I have always suspected he was lying and my Mom was cleaning up and covering up, but I try to stay out of the drama. She's going to call me tonight after my brother goes to sleep, so I'll know more then. I don't know how much she knows, I'm thinking I'll just tell her the major lies and let her find out the rest from the bank statements.

[Anonymous]

Be strong, OP. Your SIL relies on you and will need your support when the lies hit the fan.

[Anonymous]

Truth +1

[Anonymous]

Tell the truth but make sure your fats are factual.

[Anonymous]

Facts

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Whether your sister decides to end her pregnancy or not is solely her decision. That has nothing to do with you. Tell her the truth.

+1