Cannot figure out where DC should go to school for the life of me...it is making me drink.

[Anonymous]

DC is cute, normal, bright, etc. No major issues, worries, needs. A private school is within our grasp, but it would stretch the fam. Not to mention DC #2 would also attend private school, $$$$!!! Yikes. I want to get down with my local DCPS, but feel myself hesitating. Nothing wrong with the school, I am just personally SO used to SMALL schools. Do we sacrifice for the private? Do we have faith in the public? AAAAAAACCCCCKKKKK! You would think that I am the only person struggling with this, the way I stay up at night.

Just needed to vent. Wishing I felt more secure with what I should do. Wishing I would and could get the hell over this. Wishing everyone would deny us so we are left with no options.

Any wisdom would be lovely. Don't flame me please, there is nothing you can tell me that I haven't told myself...

[Anonymous]

No flaming from me-- alcohol is flammable!!

What DCPS? If it's one of the good ones, and sending two children to private school is any sort of a stretch, save the $50k / year (for two) and put it in college funds, rainy-day money, vacations, enrichment activities.

DCPS elementary school classes aren't very big; your child won't notice that there are three different kindergartens, just the kindergarten class s/he's in. You can always change your mind later; if you start private and change your mind, then you have to deal with the guilt trips from others about taking something away from your kids.

If you don't feel great, go on a tour of the school, talk to other parents, meet take your child to the school playground.

Good luck and save a drink for me-- my boss is being a jerk today.

[Anonymous]

OP here, thanks for responding. I will save a drink for you for sure.

You are talking sense to me. I hear it. I know it. Why can I not get okay with it? I really, REALLY do not want to get sucked into the insanity of some of these private schools. BUT, BUT. I don't know.

I want someone elderly and wise (like from the Karate Kid) to tell me what the right decision is and that everything will be okay. When will I grow a set?

[Anonymous]

OP, have you visited the DCPS school, talked to parents, teachers, etc?

When I am feeling anxious about a decision, sometimes it's because I do not have enough information and I am trying to anticipate every choice for 10 years down the line without having that information. So I have learned to break the decision down into smaller steps and one of those steps is waiting until I have more info before I freak out. Then once I have the info, I usually know what I want to do and I feel good about it and the freak out never arrives.

Can you try holding off on the worry until you have enough information? Or have you already gotten all the information and you're still worried?

BTW -- don't know if it helps but my dc went through DCPS and only went private in high school. I'm not saying that you should do that because only you know what works for your family and your kids. Just want you to know it can be done.

Now that I think about it, I went through a terrible time when trying to decide whether to move her from DCPS to private. I so did not want her to go. She so wanted to go. It felt like either way I risked destroying her whole life or destroying mine (black and white thinking all the way around!). My shrink pointed out that she would have struggles wherever she went and that I had no control over that. Believe it or not -- it was reassuring in a very good way -- I realized that this one decision would probably not ruin her life.

So I decided to do all the research and then decide. And once I did the research I realized that this was a good school for her and that we could manage it. But I had to work on stopping the mental obsessing by promising myself I would get all the information I needed before I worried about the decision.

Good luck, OP! I know you are only worrying because you care about what is best your family! Hang in there!

[Anonymous]

Oh please OP... I totally have you beat!!! Sleepless nights, spiking my juice with anything 80 proof daily, DCUM addiction, application fees for any and every school in the area, WPPSI obsession, playdate performance obsession... the list goes on.

I haven't had a decent conversation with ANYONE about ANYTHING other than school, school, school since, ooohhhh, OCTOBER... I have two kids also. Do we move to a better DCPS 'hood and assume a ridiculously high mortgage? Sell our current digs that isn't worth the pot or the contents? DCPS/no DCPS? OOB options are zero, charter lottery a crap shoot, move to the 'burbs (as the ex-Mrs. Bobby Brown said, h*ll to the no), put kids up for adoption and resume sexy single life with hubby (tempting), ARRRGGGHHHHH!!!

You are not crazier than me!!!

[Anonymous]

For our family, we split the difference, sending two DCs to public for elementary. It saved us close to $300k, got them socially imbedded in the neighborhood, and they were fine. We then moved them to private for middle school.

Bonus: it was a lot easier to tell what private schools would be a good fit for 11 year olds than it would have been for 4-year-olds.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:For our family, we split the difference, sending two DCs to public for elementary. It saved us close to $300k, got them socially imbedded in the neighborhood, and they were fine. We then moved them to private for middle school.

Bonus: it was a lot easier to tell what private schools would be a good fit for 11 year olds than it would have been for 4-year-olds.

17:44 again. This is so true. Dc only applied to one school in high school because she knew where she wanted to go and the school is an excellent fit for her. It could have been a lot harder on her if she had gotten into a private school in kindergarten that didn't suit her as she grew older.

[Anonymous]

I'm with you OP. I'm pretty sure we're taking an opposite track from PPs, which is, we're going to send DCs to private for elementary and then -- if we still live here -- to public for jr./sr. high. Definitely high school, middle school is the big question mark.

We have a particular DC who just would do better with the small classes, ratios, and somewhat more flexible classrooms offered by most privates. But this DC would certainly survive our Ward 3 DCPS and learn things.

Is that worth $28K a year, per kid? THAT is the dilemma.

[Anonymous]

What a great laugh!! Thanks ladies

[Anonymous]

Well if you home school you can sip an Appletini when DC has snack. Just don't mix up the wine box with the juice box

I guess I'm older, surely not wiser, than OP and PPs. Anything up to grade 8 is a crapshoot as far as college is concerned. And latest DCUM vibe says Wilson kids get into Princeton better than Sidwell. Sorry Obamas!

I can't wait for April. Tax season is so much easier than application season...

[Anonymous]

OP here!!! Thank you for not flaming me and instead, understanding and offering heartfelt advice! I am a mom, like every mom, deeply loved her children and JUST WANTS TO DO WHAT IS RIGHT. Well, I know there is no right. You are lucky if you get GOOD ENOUGH. Shit, FAIR TO MIDDLIN' is pretty damn good too! No guarantees...life does not work that way. I can tell everyone else that, I am just looking at my sweet child, with the world at her feet. She loves school, she loves her family, friends, life! I want to keep that as long as possible. I know that, eventually, I am not the keeper of happiness, no one is. But this is how I stress THAT reality. Fretting over stupid schools. It is last my last toe hold on control, darn it. Ack again.

I am now thinking about martinis during home schooling...that sounds vaguely illegal, but eh. I think that was homelife during the late seventies, no?

[Anonymous]

OP here again. I meant I deeply LOVE my kids. It is not past tense. Not yet anyway. Let's see if they get their asses to bed.

[Anonymous]

Don't home school
If you are really stuck, just roll the dice
I myself have gone completely gray trying to decide between middle school choices...Elementary was simple because my children's birthdates would not have allowed them to enroll in private kindergarten, though they could go to public kindergarten...

[Anonymous]

OP here again. I meant I deeply LOVE my kids. It is not past tense. Not yet anyway. Let's see if they get their asses to bed.

Put down the glass momma

My DD is in her second year of DCPS, and it has been fine for us and for her. She went to public preschool last year and is in preK this year. Her class is about 19 kids, and there is a teacher and an aide. She has really learned to write this year, and is working on a lot of pre-reading skills. I like the "specials" concept - she has art, PE, library, and a foreign language.

I don't know what we'll do come middle-school years. I'm hoping that Rhee returns to the preK-8 model so that we won't have to worry about that for a while.

[Anonymous]

We did what 17:46 did too. Sent them to DCPS for elementary, then went private. Saved a bunch of $$, BUT, more importantly, our kids went to a great little school, made lasting friendships with all kinds of children, and we were able to better determine what school was right for them when they were older. If you have a good local school option, go for it. Plus, your children will make friends with other kids in the neighborhood, which I can tell you is priceless.