Cannot figure out where DC should go to school for the life of me...it is making me drink.

[Anonymous]

OP here. I like this idea of knowing what is better for them when they are, say closer to 10, rather than 5!!!! Makes sense. Everything makes sense. I think she may need a smaller school. Maybe it is ME who needs a smaller school. Maybe I like a smaller school. I don't even know where the needs and wants intersect anymore. When did become such a waffling wuss?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. I like this idea of knowing what is better for them when they are, say closer to 10, rather than 5!!!! Makes sense. Everything makes sense. I think she may need a smaller school. Maybe it is ME who needs a smaller school. Maybe I like a smaller school. I don't even know where the needs and wants intersect anymore. When did become such a waffling wuss?

It's frustrating, isn't it?

I think that you are on to someting when you write "maybe it is ME who needs a smaller school." Why do you suppose you do? Do you have a concrete reason to believe that your child needs a smaller school? Zeroing in on the source of that concern might help you transform this from a theoretical, hard to nail down anxiety, to a set of identifiable criteria that you want a school to meet.

Is it possible that your sense of needing a smaller school could be about sending your little one out into the world, and wishing that it would be a smaller, more cozy world like home?

Visit your local school. Go to an open house or get a tour where they let you observe a classroom. What I found with my DCPS is that even though the building seemed big and the number of students listed on the website seemed large, the kindergarten class I observed was a welcoming, attractive environment with an engaging teacher, nice materials on the walls, and a completely reasonable number of kids. That classroom-- not the school as a whole-- is the place where you'll be sending your child out into the world. Unlike in middle/high school, your child won't be wandering the halls of a big, impersonal place with hundreds of other kids, on the way from locker to math class. In the early years, it's that homeroom, then a line of kids to lunch, PE, playground, art class, etc. All together. With teacher.

I've just told you what I think, but you need to experience it yourself and ground yourself in a real picture of what your school is, not in an inchoate sense of what it might not be, or what you might be missing, or what if anything could go wrong.

Also a plug for neighborhood school-- if your child goes to your local school, then s/he will make friends with people nearby, and you can build community that way. It's something to consider because with private, the children are from all over. Instead of walking over to best friend's house, junior might be asking you to drive him to Potomac for a playdate.

[Anonymous]

OP, I understand your agony, as mine is the same. Have not done the alcohol, but definitely wake up during the wee hours of the morning worrying over this process. I think you know in your "gut" what would be right for your child. Although, my DH and I went to public schools and obtained professional degrees later, it does not mean my DC should attend a public school. The public schools are fine, but private schools seem to offer a better fit for our DC.

[Anonymous]

OP here, I hear you PP. I only attended private schools (as well as DH) but that does not mean my DC should only go to private school. It is what I know I am comfortable with...

[Anonymous]

Catholic schools are another option. Tuition for some of them is around $6000 per year.

[Anonymous]

I have endured many sleepless nights over this issue with two children. But the decision you make is NOT permanent. I just moved DC out of public and into private mid-year. A couple years ago I did the opposite (wasted half a year's tuition in the process, but that was the best thing for DC at the time). I take it one year at a time. Schools change and kids change. We cannot iron out all the bumps in the road ahead for DC, but we can do our best. Go with your gut, not your head. You may think private is best because the facilities are nicer, the classes smaller, but your child won't care about those things. DC moved from private to public because she wanted friends in the neighborhood -- at the time that was crucial, and moving to public accomplished that (plus we had a fantastic teacher in public). But private is better for DC now. Nothing is lost, really. Kids adjust beautifully.