Do you know people who are "perfect"?

[Anonymous]

Do you have friends, exes, relatives, colleagues, frenemies, or actual enemies who just seem to have perfect lives? They have beauty, academic and professional success, are amazing amateur gourmet chefs/beer makers/some other awesome thing, socially popular and always successful romantically. How do you deal with them? Do you ever find yourself comparing and feeling envious?

I have some friends like this and it has been increasingly difficult to deal with it, especially as 2014 turned out to be the year I lost my job after 2013 being the year I lost my long-term boyfriend. And yet some people just seem to coast through life with all its advantages and either no challenges or far fewer/lighter challenges than you.

It's an age old question I know! Just looking for others who have experienced this.

[Anonymous]

Yes, some perfect SAHM moms who do marathons etc.

[Anonymous]

I have a friend like this who posts constantly on FB. She's rich, athletic, on the board of every single charity and is always winning awards for all of her good works. She has two fabulous homes and is constantly entertaining her extremely close family (who all seem to get along) or her many interesting friends. She is an expert baker to boot and rides bike marathons. I confess that I "like" many of her posts but inwardly I'm cringing just a bit. Oh well. Maybe she deals with some personal tragedy I don't know about? Not that I'm wishing that on her, but you get the point...

[Anonymous]

There are a lot of people who think that's me. I posted about this in another thread, but what people don't know about is my family and where I come from.

[Anonymous]

My friend's sorority sister is beautiful, perfectly fit physically, went to Yale, comes from money, was president of her college sorority, cooks so well she could've opened a restaurant, founded a non-profit, is published, has an interesting and creative career, is the life of the party, has dozens of equally beautiful, smart, interesting friends who seem to love her unconditionally, a constant crowd of attractive male admirers who occasionally fight over her, and seems to get along great with everyone in her attractive, happy family.

She makes me feel extremely inadequate.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My friend's sorority sister is beautiful, perfectly fit physically, went to Yale, comes from money, was president of her college sorority, cooks so well she could've opened a restaurant, founded a non-profit, is published, has an interesting and creative career, is the life of the party, has dozens of equally beautiful, smart, interesting friends who seem to love her unconditionally, a constant crowd of attractive male admirers who occasionally fight over her, and seems to get along great with everyone in her attractive, happy family.

She makes me feel extremely inadequate.

This is a friend of a friend. You have no idea what is going on in her life. Not that she is necessarily suffering, but most people have challenges that others are not aware of.

[Anonymous]

No one's is perfect OP.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:No one's is perfect OP.

see how I just messed that up.

[Anonymous]

NO ONE is perfect. Just get over that idea now, it simply does not exist. You will torture yourself trying to pretend it does.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:NO ONE is perfect. Just get over that idea now, it simply does not exist. You will torture yourself trying to pretend it does.

I disagree. (Np). I think there are some people who, for a period of their life, do live what appears to be a perfect life. Unfortunately, unless they die young, this can't be sustained. Eventually the inevitable bad things in life happen - illness, death, etc. but, for a window of their life, everything is perfect.

[Anonymous]

I knew many in my 20's...

1 ... Husband died in car crash, and not immediately
2.... Daughter born with illness died at the age of 8
3. Brain tumor
4. Breast Cancer
5. Leukemia

Just be happy for people who have fabulous lives... most likely they will need a good friend in the future.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:No one's is perfect OP.

see how I just messed that up.

I like you

Everyone has an unhappy/dark/imperfect side. Everyone. If someone says they have a perfect life, then their imperfection is that they are a liar. Maybe they have a pretty good life, are overall quite happy. But perfect life and person? Doesn't exist.

[Anonymous]

Why are people always rationalizing that "perfect" people still suffer? I agree with a PP that some people lead perfect lives. Period.

Even though they experience typical struggles like death, illness, etc., they are still living large. That's life.

[Anonymous]

I used to be one of these people. Good looking husband, gorgeous easy tempered baby, beautiful house. We had a great group of friends and I was told many times how wonderful our life looked.

We were miserable and when we separated, everyone was so confused. I am now remarried to someone who makes me truly happy. I have a good relationship with my ex and our daughter is thriving. However, I have a ton of debt left from the divorce and still haven't been able to leave the boring admin job I've had for six years.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have a friend like this who posts constantly on FB. She's rich, athletic, on the board of every single charity and is always winning awards for all of her good works. She has two fabulous homes and is constantly entertaining her extremely close family (who all seem to get along) or her many interesting friends. She is an expert baker to boot and rides bike marathons. I confess that I "like" many of her posts but inwardly I'm cringing just a bit. Oh well. Maybe she deals with some personal tragedy I don't know about? Not that I'm wishing that on her, but you get the point...

The fact that she posts constantly on Facebook is a huge indication that she's at least insecure, and there's probably more going on there too.