"Sip and see"?

[Anonymous]

Has anyone had a "sip and see"?

I am a FTM expecting this fall. In my family's culture, which is highly superstitious, we traditionally do not have baby showers. My husband's family is American and his mother really wants to throw me a small shower (in NY, where she lives). Only my husband's (very large) family will be in attendance a the NY shower since my family and all of our friends are local. I'm grateful and touched that my MIL wants to throw us a shower, but I have no interest in having one of our own here in DC. I'm in my early thirties and I'll be the first of my friends to have a baby. Additionally, all of my close girlfriends are out of state. Finally, by the time of our delivery, we will have been married only 12 months, so the idea of throwing yet another party and expecting people to get us yet another round of gifts, just seems to be too much. All of that, coupled with the fact that baby showers are pretty unheard of in my culture, I just don't think we'll end up having a baby shower.

We do, however, want to celebrate a first born's birth in some meaningful way. A friend suggested a "sip and see". From what I understand, it's basically a gathering of friends and family, 2-3 months after the baby is born. Open-house style - people come and go as they please during a 3-4 hour window and say hello to the parents and meet the baby. Small plates and some drinks are served. Gifts are not required. Guests of both sexes are invited. This clearly has advantages for us in that it would be post-delivery and, therefore, would comport with my family's cultural traditions and would relieve guests of feeling obligated to bring a gift within 12 months of having given us a gift for our wedding. My issues with the "sip and see" are (1) do I really want a bunch of people and all their germs around my newborn? and (2) am I really going to be up for seeing all those people so soon after giving birth, especially if things don't go as planned and I need a c-section?

Any advice / suggestions as to the "sip and see" would be appreciated.

Thanks!

[Anonymous]

Etiquette police, please correct me if I'm wrong, but I was under the impression that it is always incorrect for family members (e.g. your MIL) to host showers. So she may be out of line to begin with.

[Anonymous]

I've been to a few sip & sees and they are fun. They're typically for second or third babies, rather than a first, or for a baby's first visit to the town where a set of grandparents live (this sort of assumes that a shower happened in Mom's town). There's no reason you can't have one.

2-3 months seems fine to me. People will look at the baby and probably not even touch him/her.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Etiquette police, please correct me if I'm wrong, but I was under the impression that it is always incorrect for family members (e.g. your MIL) to host showers. So she may be out of line to begin with.

That is correct.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I've been to a few sip & sees and they are fun. They're typically for second or third babies, rather than a first, or for a baby's first visit to the town where a set of grandparents live (this sort of assumes that a shower happened in Mom's town). There's no reason you can't have one.

2-3 months seems fine to me. People will look at the baby and probably not even touch him/her.

I should add that EVERYONE will bring gifts, so don't kid yourself - it's a quasi-shower, even if you ask people to not bring presents.

[Anonymous]

I'm jewish and come from a family that does not believe in baby showers due to superstition. I used the baby naming and the brit milah as the opportunities to meet the baby.

[Anonymous]

I love Sip n Sees. I also love showers though and don't mind buying presents for my friends.

[Anonymous]

I think an after-baby party is perfect for someone in your shoes. Sip and See/Welcome Baby, whatever you wish to call it. Yes, people will likely bring gifts, but it is NOT the same as a shower where there is a registry or anything. Most people who love you will want to give you a gift anyway

[Anonymous]

OP here. Agree with the etiquette police (wow, you're quick to comment - and criticize!) that MILs shouldn't be hosting baby showers, but since it's a baby shower that is limited to one side of a family only, I don't really think etiquette needs to be strictly followed.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Etiquette police, please correct me if I'm wrong, but I was under the impression that it is always incorrect for family members (e.g. your MIL) to host showers. So she may be out of line to begin with.

That is correct.

Not true in modern times, folks. It's quite common and completely ok. Slow your roll.

http://www.etiquettedaily.com/2012/07/whos-to-host-responsibility-of-the-baby-shower/

[Anonymous]

I know it's tacky to mention gifts on an invite, but if you're adamant, just put "your presence is the only present we're wishing for" or something corny like that.

[Anonymous]

FWIW, my aunt hosted a family only baby shower for me and 2 of my cousins when we were all 3 expecting around the same time (we had 3 girls in a 3 week timeframe).

Triple baby shower - it was so much fun

[Anonymous]

Baby slept 90% of the sip and see so no issues with people touching her.
Had it 2 months after delivery. You should be fine too. If you are medically incapable of hosting a sip and see (assuming your husband is also pitching in) by the 2+ month mark post partum you need to go back to the doctors.

[Anonymous]

Wait, are YOU hosting the sip & see? I think that's inappropriate, from an etiquette standpoint. Have a friend host it, please.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Wait, are YOU hosting the sip & see? I think that's inappropriate, from an etiquette standpoint. Have a friend host it, please.

It's not a shower. It's more like a birthday party or a housewarming. You throw it yourselves and feed/entertain your guests.