No one can figure out my son's diagnosis

[Anonymous]

I am ready to give up...on my son. We have spent yrs on various doctors and therapies since my son was 3
Yrs old. At 2 he was occasionally unresponsive and played with some toys abnormally, and very hypersensitive to sounds and lights. At age 3, he was sometimes too shy to participate in playgroups. We put him in preschool and the school said he was not ready. He was unable to stop getting out of his chair during reading time and talking, asking for his fan. He had perseverations. At age 4, he was bent on using toys inappropriately in a Montessori school. He was banned from using several toys. At age 5, he needed the teacher's aide to continuously be at his side because he was distractible and would repeatedly obsess over the door's lock mechanism. This was his new perseveration. By age 7, he started stealing from classmates. He would not steal from friends but others. He stole small objects such as pencils and toys. But once he took a child's gaming device and another time a stuffed animal belonging to a teacher. He had in school suspension a few times and once while in suspension at the principals office, he stole a small decorative bird from the principal also. This year we bought him a laptop for school. He intentionally broke it, later confessing it was because he was so upset we bought him a cheap one. By age 9 he stopped stealing from classmates but still occasionally stole from us. Once he took our credit card and charged iPhone games. The last incident was this weekend. We visited my sister. Her son is nearly the same age as my son. Both kids were told not to go into her bedroom closet, where she happens to store toys. My son led my nephew there anyway. My nephew protested. But my son reminded him that his mother wasn't around. Then when caught, my son tried to put equal blame on my nephew.

Doctors have said he was ASD. Some insist he is not though. He has ADHD and is on medication. With meds, he is less hyper, but still disobedient athome and school. I feel like giving up trying to look for help for him. Please help.

[Anonymous]

It's an autism spectrum disorder.

[Anonymous]

The reason I said ASD is that he is hitting all of the triad: he has communication difficulty, social difficulty, and perservative interests. It's very hard to DX high functioning autism in younger children, so the mixed messages you are getting about his DX is understandable. You need to accept the ASD diagnosis that you have and go from there.

[Anonymous]

Have you tried plain old talk therapy? Or family therapy? It sounds like he has some issues. He may not have a condition, he just may be troubled.

[Anonymous]

Your anecdotes are ringing some bells. Have you posted before about your son stealing and your family issues?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The reason I said ASD is that he is hitting all of the triad: he has communication difficulty, social difficulty, and perservative interests. It's very hard to DX high functioning autism in younger children, so the mixed messages you are getting about his DX is understandable. You need to accept the ASD diagnosis that you have and go from there.

Yes, this. For behavior issues, I'd seek out ABA or behavioral therapy.

[Anonymous]

OP, does he understand why he gets in trouble or why people get upset with his actions? Does he think people are "stupid" for getting upset or something similar?

What discipline techniques do you use?

[Anonymous]

Time for a full neuropsych evaluation.

I doubt it's ASD. People with ASD are not "sneaky" and usually very rules oriented. It sounds like he has impulse control issues.

I would seek behavioral therapy also.

[Anonymous]

The stealing can be kleptomania which can indicate both an anxiety and impulse control issues.

[Anonymous]

NP here -- out of curiousity, how does ABA therapy help teach a child what is wrong? For example, my child bites other kids. How would ABA rectify that?

[Anonymous]

OP here, I have posted about him many times since he was 2 yrs old. We do not have any " family issues" though.

Our discipline: when he was younger, only talks and positive reinforcement. Then between ages 5-6, we used charts, time outs, natural consequences. When he was 7 he was stealing a lot, so we punished him with chores, making him write apology letters, and withdrawal of privileges. What else can I do?

He is very sneaky. We forbid him from taking electronics to school so he took a device apart, put it on the bottom of a box of tissues, and took the tissue box. He had a cold so I told him to take a box of tissues to school.

He knows what he does is wrong, but says he can't help it.

He once broke a teachers USB device. He got caught and got an in school suspension. He was embarrassed to see the teacher in the hallways, would hide from her.

He seems to have zero c

[Anonymous]

Oops, sorry..zero control over his actions.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:NP here -- out of curiousity, how does ABA therapy help teach a child what is wrong? For example, my child bites other kids. How would ABA rectify that?

+1 I would like to know this too. I have a kid with HFA/Asperger's and ABA therapy was never recommended by anyone for anything.

[Anonymous]

OP, you need a neuropsych eval from a top notch doctor. He sounds like he likely has co morbid diagnoses, but the fact that he can't stop himself from doing something wrong and goes out of his way to find ways to do it ( your electrical device example) is very worrisome.

[Anonymous]

OP here. He knows full well his actions are wrong. When talking to him, he hides his face. When he overheard me telling a friend on the phone, he cried out of embarassment.