No one can figure out my son's diagnosis

[Anonymous]

OP here. I have been to the Stixrud practice for a consultation and was not impressed. The woman I spoke to yrs ago did not seem knowledgeable. I wanted Dr Stixrud himself but the wait time was several months back then.

Besides Stixrud, is there any other top notch doctor that handles difficult cases? A psychiatrist or neuropsychologist?

[Anonymous]

When was the last neuropsych evaluation and what was the diagnosis?

[Anonymous]

OP, what makes you think it is more than the very impulsive actions of a kid with ADHD and maybe kleptomania? Is it the fact that meds and therapy aren't helping enough?? Because I think they simply don't help some people as much as others.

[Anonymous]

OP again. We had a neuropsych eval when he was very, very young, age 3.5. The neuropsychologist said if ASD, its ever so slight. She said he was extremely gifted.

The reason I am frightened but feeling utterly defeated here is- I think its very alarming when a child has had several suspensions but still can't change his behavior, and, in fact, steals while in the principal's office. Who does that?!

Granted, up until age 7, we raised him with kid gloves. He was an only child. He was my parents first grandchild too. Spoiled. Pampered. Had no chores. All the toys he ever wanted. When he started stealing that year though, I drew the line and we were firm with him. I made him stay after school twice a week to do chores for the teachers he stole from. This went on for a couple of months.

But here we are, three yrs later, and although he has stopped stealing, he still disrespects people's property, is disobedient, does not listen, and keeps looking for ways to get around rules. What kind of diagnosis is this? Why doesn't any medication work?

He lost a few friends. Parents do not want their kids to invite him to birthday parties. He has few, if any, play dates. I do not think he falls within the realm of normal.

I am simply at a point where I need the best damn doctor in the country to try to get him help one last time, or I need to give up as perhaps there is no hope for him. I want to cry but that is where we are. Its been a long and fruitless journey, over 14 doctors and various diagnoses with no resolution.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP again. We had a neuropsych eval when he was very, very young, age 3.5. The neuropsychologist said if ASD, its ever so slight. She said he was extremely gifted.

The reason I am frightened but feeling utterly defeated here is- I think its very alarming when a child has had several suspensions but still can't change his behavior, and, in fact, steals while in the principal's office. Who does that?!

Granted, up until age 7, we raised him with kid gloves. He was an only child. He was my parents first grandchild too. Spoiled. Pampered. Had no chores. All the toys he ever wanted. When he started stealing that year though, I drew the line and we were firm with him. I made him stay after school twice a week to do chores for the teachers he stole from. This went on for a couple of months.

But here we are, three yrs later, and although he has stopped stealing, he still disrespects people's property, is disobedient, does not listen, and keeps looking for ways to get around rules. What kind of diagnosis is this? Why doesn't any medication work?

He lost a few friends. Parents do not want their kids to invite him to birthday parties. He has few, if any, play dates. I do not think he falls within the realm of normal.

I am simply at a point where I need the best damn doctor in the country to try to get him help one last time, or I need to give up as perhaps there is no hope for him. I want to cry but that is where we are. Its been a long and fruitless journey, over 14 doctors and various diagnoses with no resolution.

No OP don't give up!!

I am the PP who mentioned a possible personality disorder. http://psychcentral.com/disorders/antisocial-personality-disorder-symptoms/

Symptoms of Antisocial Personality Disorder
Antisocial personality disorder is diagnosed when a person’s pattern of antisocial behavior has occurred since age 15 (although only adults 18 years or older can be diagnosed with this disorder) and consists of the majority of these symptoms:

Failure to conform to social norms with respect to lawful behaviors as indicated by repeatedly performing acts that are grounds for arrest
Deceitfulness, as indicated by repeated lying, use of aliases, or conning others for personal profit or pleasure
Impulsivity or failure to plan ahead
Irritability and aggressiveness, as indicated by repeated physical fights or assaults
Reckless disregard for safety of self or others
Consistent irresponsibility, as indicated by repeated failure to sustain consistent work behavior or honor financial obligations
Lack of remorse, as indicated by being indifferent to or rationalizing having hurt, mistreated, or stolen from another

[Anonymous]

Call Stixrud and schedule an evaluation. Evaluators don't usually give neuropsych eval before age ~6 b/c they are not very accurate when they are younger. Some of the testing cannot be done for very young kids.

Just b/c you were not impressed with the intake person at Stixrud several yrs ago doesn't reflect the entire practice.

You need a diagnosis first before anything else.

[Anonymous]

You should sign up for Dr. Shapiro's workshop, Raising your challenging child, or some other parenting workshops. It won't hurt.

[Anonymous]

What boundaries does he have, OP? Anything at all?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Call Stixrud and schedule an evaluation. Evaluators don't usually give neuropsych eval before age ~6 b/c they are not very accurate when they are younger. Some of the testing cannot be done for very young kids.

Just b/c you were not impressed with the intake person at Stixrud several yrs ago doesn't reflect the entire practice.

You need a diagnosis first before anything else.

agreed. the intake person is not a reflection of the doctors in the practice. they are clueless as to what goes on in the "front office" and should not be judged because of it. Call Stixrud. you've waited this long, you can wait a little longer for the right doctor. When you call them, tell the person who answers the phone that you want to talk with Stixrud and stixrud only. They will put you on Starr's schedule for the intake. If you do not want to wait a year to talk to him (could be less as there are cancellations), ask to have an intake with Elaine. She is their senior intake person. She is married to a very well knows psych in another practice.

At the same time that you're doing this, get on the wait list at Kennedy Krieger and Childrens. Get on all of them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What boundaries does he have, OP? Anything at all?

How about consistant boundaries? Is that too much off the wall?

[Anonymous]

Granted, up until age 7, we raised him with kid gloves. He was an only child. He was my parents first grandchild too. Spoiled. Pampered. Had no chores. All the toys he ever wanted.

Sounds to me, based on what you described of his very early years, like ADHD made much, much worse by poor parenting. Family and individual therapy could be very helpful.

[Anonymous]

OP, I think family therapy might be a good place to start. He's not like this because he's an only child or because his grandparents spoil him.

There's a few things in your posts which are troubling and you seem to be missing them. Why did you buy him a computer to take to school? He's in elementary!

You also don't seem to like what doctors tell you could be wrong and you are looking for some easy fix or magic wand. It doesn't exist. Whatever is wrong with him is going to take hard work on the part of the family and him to fix.

[Anonymous]

Work on multiple fronts. Sign up for wait lists at Stixrud, Children's, KKI. Start family and child therapy. Read the Kazdkn Method. I don't see a lot about positive reinforcement in your posts. He needs it. Reinforcement for anything he does right. Sign up for the challenging child class. There is one starting this month, taught by shapiro's partner over two Saturdays. You can get on that right away! I know it's hard. I have a very challenging kid myself. There is no magic bullet or answer I think.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Work on multiple fronts. Sign up for wait lists at Stixrud, Children's, KKI. Start family and child therapy. Read the Kazdkn Method. I don't see a lot about positive reinforcement in your posts. He needs it. Reinforcement for anything he does right. Sign up for the challenging child class. There is one starting this month, taught by shapiro's partner over two Saturdays. You can get on that right away! I know it's hard. I have a very challenging kid myself. There is no magic bullet or answer I think.

How much does it cost for the two Saturdays?

[Anonymous]

250 to 350.